Relationship Not Taking It Personal

[Shallot03]

Its been about 2 months and I haven't reached out to my vet. We don't live in the same area but I will be near him this weekend. I learned my lesson this first and second time I tried making plans with him and got no answer. The first time I suggested I come to his place he completely shutdown, I honestly think I scared the crap out of him. If I didn't know better I'd think he was hiding a wife or girlfriend but that's not the case. This time I'm going to let him know I'm in town as a courtesy and say a friendly hello and that's it, I am NOT going to ask him to hangout. I have mentally prepared myself not to hear back from him even though the distance between us will be 3miles compared to 200miles. I'm hoping my new approach of not asking him for anything will start to alleviate some of the pressure he feels with me. I want him to know I will always be kind to him and will be there for him even though he's pushing me away and not take it personal when he does. I feel so pathetic that my only consolation this weekend will be being in the same city as him. Okay, that's it, I just wanted to vent to my people...fellow supporters whose hearts are so big and can't wait for the day our sufferers will let us love them!

 

[Linzee]

Its been about 2 months and I haven't reached out to my vet. We don't live in the same area but I wil...

@Shallot03 You are NOT pathetic and have clearly come a long way in understanding how he copes with his PTSD as well getting yourself through at the same time without losing the plot.

Not seen my SO in almost 2 months either. I care deeply for him but no longer look for his calls/texts/voicemails. Still have an unwritten Valentine's day card in in its cellophane (probably a blessing in disguise I didn't get to give it to him). You have done all you can do, we are not super human.

 

[TheMinsterman]

@Linzee is correct, don't let yourself be defined by how they treat you. It's hard not to take it personally but very often it isn't intended to be or a reflection of your value, they're coping the best way they know how, sometimes it isn't healthy, sometimes it is, if I am being blunt, quite selfish in regard to considering your feelings (it has to be, it's their battle, they have to focus on themselves first and foremost).

Focus on you, take your mind off him, enjoy being alone for a while, if it is meant to be he will come back and you can go from there.