Recent content by tphillips117

I'm 40. I just turned 40 this year in Jan. I've had PTSD all my life probably, but not diagnosed until 2011. I've been married once for almost 14 years. We're separated. We have three kids. Things have been bad for a long time. We did the marriage counseling thing and eventually quit...

I just turned 40 this year. I am separated from my husband after 20 years. PTSD has a way of wrecking havoc on relationships like that. He doesn't understand what it's like to be me and the more I explain the further he distances. I feel so isolated and alone. I just want someone to...

Life is getting interesting... Ever watched Cast Away?, you know with Wilson the volleyball that Tom Hanks used to not feel isolated and alone? I had something like that. It was a white cotton ball in a mayonnaise jar filled with water. I secretly hid it under the bathroom sink after I stole...

There are 2. One is called prozasin and the other propranolol. They are both blood pressure meds that are used off label for PTSD nightmares. I have tried them both and they didn't do a thing for me--all different dosages and no effect. But they may work for you. Worth asking about.

I feel crazy! I feel absolutely depressed, angry, full of rage, irritable, sad, emotional, confused, exhausted, and nothing at all. If that makes sense.

I wish he could too. I think he would like to, but its hard to play by the rules when the rules are always changing. What he and others don't seem to get is that the rules change for me too. I'm playing his game for the first time, just like everyone else. I am all over the place...

You reached out and replied to my thread. That's something. :)

I've asked my husband to leave me. I don't think I will ever trust him again--no matter what he says or does. He triggers me into maddening rage. He had to leave the house for his safety. I can make no promises to him. I want to be alone. That's all I want--just to be left alone. No one...

"It's not my fault" feels like it falls on deaf ears. It not like anger you have because you don't get your way. Or anger because you feel slighted by someone else, it's rage from within. It's rage at yourself, sometimes turned outward. It's frustration as losing control of your mind and your...

I've cut people out my whole life. Not because I had depression or PTSD, but because I recognized a toxic relationship when I saw one. Granted, I was on my own, I was single and I could do that virtually with no consequences. Now, I have my husband--who is literally the only person who...

My husband sees a therapist and actually started seeing her to help him understand what I was going though. I've been on a steady decline emotionally for a long time. I have a wonderful therapist who actually informs my husband when he triggers me that he should leave the house for a while for...

I DO feel like I'm losing my mind!!! I don't understand what is happening and as soon as I feel like I do, some new, crazy symptoms appear. People in your life forget that you are NOT operating under any normal parameters at all but then you don't get taken seriously because you are just being...

I take trintellix for depression (I'm on the max dose of that), but I've taken every SSRI, SNRI and MAOI on the market. I've been on all the benzos at various times. I've been on propranolol and prozasin to try and control the nightmares, all different dosages--no difference. I've been on...

Complex PTSD has been a struggle in my life for 6 years. I had it way before then, but life was stable enough that it was masked to a large degree. During the day, from the moment the drugs I take at night to allow me to even fall asleep, I'm plagued by debilitating anxiety. My heart races...

Thanks guys! It's been a long and stressful few months. Between going away to a failed inpatient treatment for trauma (I was the ONLY Complex PTSD patient and everyone else on the unit was DID), and my husband with one foot out the door, I feel triggered by everything. I am so emotionally...