Recent content by WarOfRoses

I wish I could cry. I wish I could just let it all out in a flood of tears each day. But I I never can. It just sits there on my chest like a burning lump of hot embers.

Hi Whiteraven I dont have any experience with T's but I heard you need to try a few until one fits. Why dont you just say to yourself let's give this one another try and see how I feel after that. You can then make a decision. I'm very much the same when it comes to finding a quiet spot and...

@SeekingAfrica wow I could have written your posts myself. I starting sliding down this slippery slope as soon as we went into lockdown. I'm just taking each day as it comes and forgetting any long term goals at the moment. My head is all over the place at the moment. I'm to inactive and...

To me the power of now is pretty much Buddhism repackaged. Which is perfectly fine as it gives the Buddhist philosophy a refresh. The main Buddhist tenant and theme that runs through the philosophy is "letting go". Letting go of the past, fears and worries of the future, cravings, loss and...

For about two weeks I was feeling rage coupled with revenge fantasy. The past few days the rage has subsided I I dont seem to feel like getting revenge anymore. The trouble is I am now just left with the depression and pangs of anxiety. Is it a good sign that the rage has subsided? Is this...

Hey Friday I'm happy for people to reply. That line you quoted came across wrong.

I went on my morning walk today. It's a lovely wooded area to walk. Lot's of birds singing, a warm breeze and many different colours of trees and flowers in full bloom. Simple things that I used to enjoy before my mind became frozen in that horrible place in time. I'm usually walking to stave...

I'm not really taking care of it at all. I have started smoking again and drink a bottle of wine every three days or so. There is plenty to do around the house which keeps me busy but I do these tasks with a constant wave of anxiety passing through my body coupled with flash backs about the...

@Changing4Best yes I agree doing a little bit here and there makes me feel good. @Mach123 I walk the dog every morning and it's a great way to start the day. I also made a list this morning that I said I would make sure I get done. I have completed 4 of the 5 on the list. One more to go!

Has anybody seen Dolphine Boy? It follows a biy from Iran who sent an innocent text to a girl and was then beaten mercilessly by her brother and his friends. It causes him to disassociate, forget his past and refuse to speak to anybody. The Documentary can be found here: Its and amazing...

I'm the type of person who needs to leave the house in order to get things done. I once worked for a company who gave me the opportunity to work from home three days a week but I still went into the office as I'm not productive and get distracted at home. Same with any kind of workout or...

Thank you everyone. You are all kind souls and remind me that these sick individuals are few and far between. What a shame they have so much more of an impact!! I wish I could address all your points individually, but I'm wearing a lead blanket at the moment. You know how it is. I barely have...

That hit the nail on the head. I want to go back to normal and pretend this never happened. I'm not sure I fully accept that it has yet. I may be in a bit of denial at the moment. I also have bouts of "this was my fault because of X Y and Z" and "If I had have just done A B and C it wouldn't...

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply all of you. I've had a good read through and absorbed what you said. I guess secretly I wanted at least one person to say "yeah go and kick the shit out of him and humiliate him just like he did to you, that'll teach him!!!" ? But of course nobody...

A few reasons I guess.. 1. I'm struggling to accept that I have let another person get to me so much that I now need to go to therapy to get over it. He is going about his day as normal and I'm suffering all the angst after what he did to me. 2. I'm in a phase it appears a lot of others here...