Recent content by xraydave

Actually you are right, but now i realized something with my amazing mind over here lol . It's not actually that I was different from my parents that I needed to realize but how they were exactly the same as me, they are just kids. Not authorities, for some reason, like me. I only really...

No, yes, that is exactly right. I am actively pushing away the people closest to me, on the basis that theyre like my abusers. It is very difficult to talk to someone when it is a matter that is so personal , and so many boundaries can be crossed . especially when we are from different...

Had PTSD for years. Never needed* a pill but i was forced to take it because of societal expectations. Sometimes, it can do more harm than good. My psychdoctor supports my decision, as I am making serious progress without antidepressants or medication and he also states the reason for it being...

I have a narcissistic father, who had gone to my university received awards and travelled around the world because he is "intelligent". My mother is a codependent. He used to hit my mum growing up, and just let me and my brother and sister watch this whole thing unfold. He did the same thing...

@lostforgottensoul Thank you. that means a lot to me. i'm actually starting to think this 'you guys think i have autism' thought, was just some sort of paranoia i have going on. that no one really said it, but i thought everyone implied it in their heads, to make me feel insecure and...

I see there is a recurring theme to this. and you are actually all trying to help. this is a lot to take in (but im sure youve all experienced it?) and im surprised at how relaxed everyone is. you may have guessed it but i have already ruined some potential harmless relationships with good...

@sun seeker i hear you loud and clear . i think this is where i should probably get up and leave for a while. i think i've dealt with the ptsd issues quite well and am pretty prosocial than before i got my diagnosis. (i go out much more with friends and stuff) . but ive realized reading this...

Thank you. i feel like i am being heard and am not going crazy here. I think the problem is everyone thinks I am out to do their community some level of harm, I am not. i have nothing against the community. i'll try to work on what you said. i have nothing against this community. if i did i...

Hell, I can imagine the replies to this already - did you see a doctor about this? are you sure you dont have Alzheimer's disease? That you brain is not slowly deteriorating? Nooo, this is what people with dissociative issues go through. And I know i have dissociative and mild hallucinating...

Maybe this is good advice... and it's alarming to me as well, because i am a pretty good communicator, but then i had this freaking seizure like activity the past few days, and cant keep a thought in my head. (Hence why i made the thread 'cant keep a thought in my head'). Ya see, not only...

I dont what it is, ever since the other day when i posted on here and people were like saying i have autism, ive been going in a cycle inside my head going 'you are disordered'. and that line of thinking came up from when i was traumatized a few years back. those same memories, same feelings...

this is an unbelievably interesting method. i think i will try to map out my behaviours, i dont know much about my grandparents but i will look into determining their traits from my parents . again, this is really interesting, and ive done something just a tiny bit similiar to this in the past...

That's a well thought of question. I dont know what to say, but this would be very helpful in teaching me to overcome this fear of not communicating well and also, knowing what to say in general, when a person is speaking with me. it's going to be a little difficult from here, and i think...

I can say that my dad never showed his emotions, or told me to feel for him. My mum does say she was sad, when I moved out to go to university and asks me whether i feel bad for her. My brother never really tells us to see things from his perspective. They may share their emotions like anger...

Man, this may not mean much if i do have autism and may just come off weird, but thank you all. i feel so much better knowing that these problems im having with people around me, or these problems which come in the form of patterns that have been there my whole life, maybe, are not all my fault..