Afraid To Post On These Forums

[joeylittle]

@The Albatross - absolutely. I'm just pointing out that they are there. But thanks for clarifying that.

Edit to add: Also, @xraydave - if it helps, the reason autism came up in the other thread was me; I was asking if you'd ever been tested, specifically because I remembered this from another thread of yours:

I am 20 and have PTSD with dissociative features. it's like my thoughts are all over the place. it's a mess ...for some reason i suspect autism.

So, to clear it up: didn't mean anything by it except remembered you had written that you suspected it might be coming into play for you.

I don't know if that will help you feel less labelled; hopefully, yes.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

For me personally, I didnt want to start a tramua diary (unsure why really) but im very glad i did. I tend to type a lot and almost answer myself as im typing a lot. Its come in handy for a lot of my "mind dumps". Sometimes i make threads when i want more input but most of my "mind dumps" you cant make too much sense of but when i get it out of my head then its easier to sort through.

No, obviously you dont have to start one but im just saying that it has come in very useful for me to just throw all of whats in my head "out threre" and then i can start piecing it out and making sense of some of it and sometimes a thread will come after or from a piece or two.

Again, just how i use my diary. If you have one or make one then its yours to do whatever with.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

i chalked it up to dissociation, but if a majority here cannot relate, maybe it's more medical than that? i dunno, i will definitely follow up on this.

I relate very well to dissociation and do it often and did it fully as a kid. And if you do a search on here for dissociation, you will actually see a majority can relate to that.

I think Xray, I would not confuse "if a majority here cannot relate" with "a majority of people who responded to me on the thread in question"

And actually i would challenge this as well as many that have replied to your threads of late have also advised that they dissociate on other threads.

Dissociation is very common in PTSD.

 

[Sideways]

@xraydave - your comment "everyone thinks I'm out to do their community some level of harm"

2 bits of feedback:
First, that's a cognitive distortion, like what @joeylittle was referred to, and it seems to be a recurring theme for you. You seem to get very distressed by that thought (who wouldn't!) hence this thread. Tackle that cognitive distortion and maybe (hopefully) this would become a much more comfortable environment for you...

Second: whilst I think there's a bit of defensiveness going on (perhaps not unwarranted), you did kind of invite a bit of me v's the community with this thread, and with comments you've made in other threads. Just an observation, but it always gets a response when members heee see the community being put down.

But again, if we can overcome the cognitive distortion (the community is out to get me), the problem will likely resolve itself.

And yes, I have noticed that although you've had posts accusing "the community" of this and that, you've also made posts being very flattering to "the community". If that's dissociation at your end, that must be an awful struggle for you. On the receiving end, all we get is conflicting posts - that's all we have to go on.

Feel better:)

 

[xraydave]

I see there is a recurring theme to this. and you are actually all trying to help. this is a lot to take in (but im sure youve all experienced it?) and im surprised at how relaxed everyone is.

you may have guessed it but i have already ruined some potential harmless relationships with good friends because of similar things to this.

I'm pretty convinced I should work on the cognitive distortions..

 

[lostforgottensoul]

you may have guessed it but i have already ruined some potential harmless relationships with good friends because of similar things to this.

Another congititive distortions. Dont worry, i believe i have the entire list and "everyone is here to hurt me" was the first i had to overcome so you arent "bad" or even different from most here. Theres a wonderful thread that Ms Spock has (in Social I think) about congitive distorions. I then got her permission and copied and pasted them all in my diary to read them daily and see which i can try to tackle first.

Id say most here struggle with at least one cognitive distorotion if not many at least some point in their recovery.

 

[sun seeker]

Believing that "everyone is here to hurt me" probably helped many of us survive at one point. The trick is updating our brains, which are stuck in survival mode. Bit by bit. Beating ourselves up about it is one thing that isn't helpful. :-)

 

[xraydave]

@lostforgottensoul

Thank you. that means a lot to me.

i'm actually starting to think this 'you guys think i have autism' thought, was just some sort of paranoia i have going on. that no one really said it, but i thought everyone implied it in their heads, to make me feel insecure and paranoid. which means i am thinking in terms of 'the community is out to get me'.

to be honest, i think this is delusional.. and maybe even, related to the psychotic aspects of my disorder.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Or @xraydave you just simply forgot you said it in another thread? Im just stating the simplest. It seems us with PTSD can be rather forgetful, plently of threads about that lol.

Be a Dr, think of the easiest and most likely first and move out to the rarest and less likely because you can work yourself in a freezy. I know, ive done it.