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No side effects from the celexa so far. But the purpose of this medication is to face my trauma which is where this diary comes in. My boyfriend has a dog that doesn't get along with people. Not his fault, he was trained that way. He used to take his dog to a particular place to be boarded...

Took celexa for the first time tonight. Not sure what to expect. Hope nothing bad happens. The last time I took an antidepressant I had a bad panic attack. Not sure if it was the medicine or the circumstances though. I used to think I was allergic to sushi because I had some at a restaurant...

Woke up in a flashback a couple days ago, fell into a depression that has not subsided. Mad and snappy. People are so shitty. Getting better, but I get worse when I'm around others who just don't give a f*ck. Memory: one night I was wakened by my step-dad turned husband. He was freaking out...

I'm sorry you went through this and still go through it sometimes. Thank you for sharing and for your encouragement. The similarities just amaze me!

I can tell that this can be especially hard. But maybe looking at it a different way might help. Like your dad was the cause of the abuse, not the making of a meal. Plenty of people other than your dad make meals and feed themselves that do not abuse others. It is a universal task with a sole...

I'm glad this thread helped you and hope it helps others. It has def shown me that I'm not alone in my experiences with my mother. The pain I feel, others have felt it, too, and understand. That brings me comfort. I appreciate you but I unfortunately do not feel joy at this moment. It does not...

I feel like I can relate to you. My brother tries to tell me that mom is "just different" or "you know how she is" so just do as she says. It's giving excuses for bad behavior and treatment. Family might have good intentions but your parents do not and that's the problem. It sounds like you are...

I've always been the scapegoat and my brother, the "golden" child but only because he does what she says so as not to hurt her feelings. My brother is not narcissistic, at least not from my interaction with him, but sometimes I wish I could just be out completely. They still have this belief...

Thank you 😊

Thank you. Sometimes I am grateful for the anonymity this site provides because there are some aspects of my story that I would die if anyone in my real life aside from my therapist and those involved knew of lol

Thank you

Saw my current T today, she is going to read my book by Pete Walker to have a better understanding of my flashbacks and my depression but agrees with the new T that antidepressants might help me because I check all the boxes for being depressed. I have to schedule an appointment with my regular...

Deleted my mother's phone number out of my phone. I no longer have it and cannot look it up anymore. Deleted the text messages. This might put a dent in holidays but I'd rather spend holidays alone than with her controlling ass. The last holiday I spent with her was Thanksgiving and I had two...

It's good you don't have anything to do with him.

Yeah, he's not someone you want to be associated with. My mother is in her late 40's and she's the same as she was when I was growing up. Like your dad, she will never change. Does your dad have weird quirks? My mother is narcissistic. I used to think I needed a professional opinion in order...

Thank you for sharing. I will listen to it.

Ugh that's what my mom and stepdad used to always do. Guilt trip me into forgiving them.

How long have you not spoken to your dad?

Yes! Stay focused!!

Well when she decided to protect my rapist from the law and wanted to be married to him and sleep with him, knowing he did this to me and my brother, her own children, says a lot. How could you even want to be in the same room with someone who harmed your children much less raped, molested and...

Since this time, I started to work on myself by starting a trauma diary so I could address the issues of my past instead of taking it out on my boyfriend. When we "made up" which was just picking up where we left off, I fully expected him to continue his habit of not communicating every day...

Lightly

I feel like even if I go no contact, she's always going to be a part of me. She is my mother. The one who gave birth to me. And I look just like her, people say we are like twins. My poor dad, no one would ever guess he was my dad because I look so much like my mother. So every time I look in...

I don't have any answers but I am reading and listening. I agree that it might be the inner child that does not trust. Trust to me is a feeling that comes and goes. Some moments I trust, other moments I distrust. I'm not sure if that is relevant to how you're feeling though.

Thank you. I've read in Pete Walker's book there is self-parenting and parenting by committee. Self-parenting is when you parent yourself, or your inner child. Parenting by committee is when others show you parental-like love. I have no kids, but if I had a daughter, or if I were my own...