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Crip

And then there is the concept of accidental suicide by engaging in dangerous activities. I don’t do a lot of dangerous stuff since I became aware of the concept. I am not sure my current indifference to life is SI or not. It is what it is.

Fitzgerald

Hi and welcome. I am having an autism evaluation in May. A friend suggested it because she saw many autistic traits. I started reading about it and saw a ton more. I also have looked at my personal history and there are a lot of indicators there too. I’m hoping that more labels will help me find...

Coffee is almost ready….

Criminal

I BBQed a steak for Lulu and I. I am trying to eat better but living alone it hardly seems worth the trouble cooking, particularly in the evening. Lulu approved of tonight’s dinner.

I am feeling better today. I actually got some chores done and progress and productivity always perk me up.

Tired and down.

Oops, the book shelves didn’t post so here they are.

A few more from Africa. The book shelves are new. I have over 20 boxes of books so I had to do something. I used to have over 50 boxes so I am improving. I am painting the interior so I painted the area around the new shelves. I think it will look nice. I have a new couch on order. Slowly it is...

Sometimes I feel the same way. I am very ignorant about who I am. It seems like if the trauma stuff was gone there would be nothing left. There is something going on in me I don’t understand. I have lots of anxiety but beneath that I am starting to wonder if there are boat loads of shame...

I’m hanging out in a hotel room, I have wrist surgery in the morning.not a big deal but boring.

Write

And now the gal I have been dating is pissed at me for not obsessing on Epstein. I have enough nonsense in my head already, I don’t need to take on the daily political bickering.

I am feeling tired and a bit fed up with everything. I am in a hotel for the next few days. I have minor surgery on my left wrist on Thursday so I am staying here next to the hospital. I am a couple hundred yards from the hospital and they tell me I have to hire a medical transportation company...

You hit it perfectly. All I want is a quiet simple life. Instead I have to deal with constant BS. Just when I make some progress something erupts and sets me backwards. I don’t want to keep up with the Kardasians. I really don’t want any part of this shut up and buy world. The assertion of...

For me ideation has come back some in the past week. I just get tired of living. I have a firm belief that the modern world is incompatible with human nature and most people don’t realize it. They just live their lives of drudgery without ever really questioning it. Me, I always feel like an...

Hi Fran and welcome. I am a sufferer and let me tell you how confusing it is. My divorce is not final yet after a 28 year marriage. I have been seeing a woman since May and she has a trauma history too. Currently she is on holiday in Mexico so I am getting some time alone to think about...

I have no problem with the Iranian people, But their government is so full of hate. Unfortunately the government will not care about the pain they cause their people. That said, I am not thrilled with my government either.

Personally I think anger is optional. Maybe it is avoidance but I try to not think about the big political picture it is just too much. It is not good for my wellbeing. I think it is a distraction from what I need to be doing, personal healing. Getting too politically engage sure looks like...

I did an hour and a half hike yesterday and an easy one hour bike ride today.

I guess this war, if that is what it is, doesn’t bother me so much is I believe Iran earned it. I have no sympathy for the government of Iran. I just hope we don’t end up with something worse.

I don’t like violence in any form. Even watching a movie I find myself grabbing the chair when there is violence. To me wars are the ultimate admission of failure of the political class. But for some reason this one isn’t bothering me.

I walked today for a little over an hour. I have had to cut back on exercise due to my bloop pressure shooting up while exercising. Tomorrow I will get on the bicycle and see how I do keeping my heart rate low.