Hey,
I’m new to this site and just looking for some advice.
A guy I’ve been seeing for over 6 months who has PTSD and is ex military has gone quiet. It was a slow burn at first and then the last 3 months since he moved from his mums place into his own, we have grown close fast. He has initiated everything. Texts, calls and meet ups. He does shift work and so I only get to see him every other weekend. He also lives 3 hours from me. I se him at work sometimes because we work within the same sphere, so we had to keep it a secret from them. He didn’t care about the risk and wanted to continue. We’ve had a great 3 months together and always look forward to our time together. He texts quite a lot and calls probably 1-4 times a day everyday.
He has said he loves me, has spoken about the future together and me moving in. He is however going through a divorce that is nearly over and has a teenage daughter that he says as often as he can.
Anyway, last weekend we spent 5 nights together which is the most time we’ve had together, however he was really ill with sickness and has had a very bad back for 5 weeks which got worse due to sickness. Naturally the weekend was quite flat but I was trying to just be there fore him and look after him. On Sunday his daughter wanted to come round for a bit which meant I would have had to leave and drive 3 hrs home. Naturally I was upset and frustrated but didn’t show it. I told him not to be sorry about the weekend but he still gets so down when our plans are messed up. The only time this has happened is when he had an arguement with his ex and daughter and he went off comms for a day and came back normal the next day. A couple other times he has gone quiet for the evening and not responded if our plans didn’t work out.
The beginning of the week he was still chatty but it got to Wednesday and he went a bit quiet and the same on Thursday. I was asking if he was free to chat so I could see if he was ok. He kept pushing it back which is so unlike him and then I thought I’ll just asking a message if everything was ok. I asked if I’d done anything wrong as he seems distant and not as chatty. I said if he needs space, that is ok. I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t anything on my end.
He kind of brushed past that message and 6 hours later said I’ve got a late night and early start with work but will call you when I’m up tomorrow. I asked if we were ok though and could we not chat now. He said stop stressing and used a laughing emoji. And said it was all good. I left it at that and he text me the next morning saying he worked through the night mostly and that he’d call me when he was awake. I never got that call and text saying… Hey, hope you had a good sleep. Still around for a chat later? That was last night and I still haven’t heard a thing.
He’s never done this and is so good at communicating. He usually responds within minutes and now he’s just gone quiet and I don’t know why.
He was quiet and not overly lovey at the weekend, but I put it down to illness. He was fine in text beginning of the week too but was hesitant to make plans to see each other again. Usually he initiates everything and I don’t have to. I’m also very chill, however I have anxiety and OCD and so I’m not coping well with this and was wondering if anyone could give me some advice?
I’m just worried he will end it. Which will make no sense after him talking about loving me and making future plans. He says he thinks I’m perfect and just the nicest person he has ever met. So I don’t know how it can switch so quickly from constant contact on his part, to ignoring me.
Would appreciate any help.
I’m new to this site and just looking for some advice.
A guy I’ve been seeing for over 6 months who has PTSD and is ex military has gone quiet. It was a slow burn at first and then the last 3 months since he moved from his mums place into his own, we have grown close fast. He has initiated everything. Texts, calls and meet ups. He does shift work and so I only get to see him every other weekend. He also lives 3 hours from me. I se him at work sometimes because we work within the same sphere, so we had to keep it a secret from them. He didn’t care about the risk and wanted to continue. We’ve had a great 3 months together and always look forward to our time together. He texts quite a lot and calls probably 1-4 times a day everyday.
He has said he loves me, has spoken about the future together and me moving in. He is however going through a divorce that is nearly over and has a teenage daughter that he says as often as he can.
Anyway, last weekend we spent 5 nights together which is the most time we’ve had together, however he was really ill with sickness and has had a very bad back for 5 weeks which got worse due to sickness. Naturally the weekend was quite flat but I was trying to just be there fore him and look after him. On Sunday his daughter wanted to come round for a bit which meant I would have had to leave and drive 3 hrs home. Naturally I was upset and frustrated but didn’t show it. I told him not to be sorry about the weekend but he still gets so down when our plans are messed up. The only time this has happened is when he had an arguement with his ex and daughter and he went off comms for a day and came back normal the next day. A couple other times he has gone quiet for the evening and not responded if our plans didn’t work out.
The beginning of the week he was still chatty but it got to Wednesday and he went a bit quiet and the same on Thursday. I was asking if he was free to chat so I could see if he was ok. He kept pushing it back which is so unlike him and then I thought I’ll just asking a message if everything was ok. I asked if I’d done anything wrong as he seems distant and not as chatty. I said if he needs space, that is ok. I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t anything on my end.
He kind of brushed past that message and 6 hours later said I’ve got a late night and early start with work but will call you when I’m up tomorrow. I asked if we were ok though and could we not chat now. He said stop stressing and used a laughing emoji. And said it was all good. I left it at that and he text me the next morning saying he worked through the night mostly and that he’d call me when he was awake. I never got that call and text saying… Hey, hope you had a good sleep. Still around for a chat later? That was last night and I still haven’t heard a thing.
He’s never done this and is so good at communicating. He usually responds within minutes and now he’s just gone quiet and I don’t know why.
He was quiet and not overly lovey at the weekend, but I put it down to illness. He was fine in text beginning of the week too but was hesitant to make plans to see each other again. Usually he initiates everything and I don’t have to. I’m also very chill, however I have anxiety and OCD and so I’m not coping well with this and was wondering if anyone could give me some advice?
I’m just worried he will end it. Which will make no sense after him talking about loving me and making future plans. He says he thinks I’m perfect and just the nicest person he has ever met. So I don’t know how it can switch so quickly from constant contact on his part, to ignoring me.
Would appreciate any help.
