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Did I mention that my mother died Monday? That’s a whole new layer to keeping track of my self destructive coping style. I have been doing that and trying to meditate. The President of the boatd(I’m the secretary) is coming up from MA to reply to her most recent email requesting that we forgive...

The board can demand that she follows the rules, I’ve asked my t to write an accommodation letter for me as I am disabled due to PTSD. Basically to have zero contact with me. We’re meeting tomorrow to come up with a response to her demands for space on my porch. It’s as if she never even read...

The case is closed. She has no claim to my porch. It is exclusively mine. She is chomping on the bit over this. I will not give her one inch of space. Today’s daily rant made no mention of the law. She’s acting all like “I didn’t know about the law” she is desperate to have access to me but no...

She’s still calling and emailing my lawyer. Now he sees what life is like with her. He asked me if I could make some room for her that isn’t by the window. I said yes, but she rejected the generous area I offered her. So the final bridge has been burned. She is not getting a single inch of my...

@freebird I am going to install a camera. Just takes time to save the money. Rosie needs to be spayed before she goes into heat and I desperately need new glasses. I’m buying them online this time saving me about $250.

The lawyer writes great letters and they will come in handy when I get a restraining order. She started emailing him nonstop and so he totally gets what a crackpot she is. Now it’s up to the association to get its declaration in order which we are doing. It takes time. If she displeases me one...

Well bad news from my lawyer. She wrote him one of her famous emails that have no logic. She just loves doing this stuff. On and on like she’s got her doctorate but really she’s illiterate and you can hardly understand her point. Anyway she sent him a plan of the porch with arrows on it and it...

My dogs are my favorite living beings. Also an introvert, can’t stand being one on one with my t. It took a long time to be able to raise my head and look him in the eye. Nows the time to get your home ready for your dog. Give yourself the freedom to bond with him. Don’t overthink it. He’s been...

Love it @Friday

I’m so glad to be feeling better. Going to commit to a regular meditation schedule. Also am determined to process my 12 year old part that hates me, or should I say i hate her? No I should learn to hate my rapist. My friend offered to dig up his body and shoot him in the head.

You have done a lot of work on yourself. I betvevery time you lift a weight it counteracts a sorrow. I am the opposite, but on a parallel. I was always stick thin until I was put on atypical antipsychotics and I gained 50 pounds. I’ve lost the will to work out. It’s one thing to lose weight, but...

@blackemerald1 i like the way you think. It’s taken all my will power not to smash her snooping chair into splinters. She leaves it next to her door and inches it closer and closer to my window where she stands to snoop into my window, but if I catch her she always has some stupid thing she says...

I took back the porch. My anxiety is half of what it was two hours ago. All these people telling me to wait till the lawyer wrote his analysis of the law. It was so hard to have restraint. But I made it. It looks better out there. I’m just glad I finally got to reclaim my space.

This woman is a master gaslighter. My mistake has been to try and ignore her rants and tantrums for way too long. Two of the other unit owners have reached out to support me because they, too, have been her targets. When I had had it with her cyber bullying, I blocked her phone and email and...

Well, my therapist just compared me with my neighbor. He doesn’t know what she thinks. But he stated “she thinks you’re a pain just like you think she is” What an insult. I can’t believe he’d write that in an email message. Some trauma specialist he’s turned out to be. Excuse me, but “bully” is...

I’m struggling with anxiety and fear of what she will do next. I had a chat with another unit owner who started off friends with this witch and she just turned on her like a rabid dog. She got fired from her job as a toll booth collector. I mean, that’s not a difficult job, but she never gave...

Last September I was getting the porch set up for my new puppy. The porch is mine, but right next to the end of my unit is the door leading up into the 2nd floor units. I put up a dog gate and had the -Association president tell me where to put it. He has one for his dog and no one bugs him...

I wouldn’t waste too much time on labels. It’s just a way humans categorize things. But if you have more than one stressor it is cumulative and then functioning starts to shift into uncomfortable feelings. Then what do we do with the feelings? For me just being able to name it helps me gain...

You are a good writer. I’m so sorry for the losses you have suffered and your parents should be ashamed of themselves. I can identify with much of what you deal with as I had a chemical brain injury and the symptoms mimic PTSD. Either way, though, it can be hard to ride out that storm. I think...

My lawyer wrote a very impressive letter to my insane neighbor. She will not honor his findings I’m sure and I will end up having her served with a Protection order. I really hate to do that because it will be a criminal record that will follow her, but on the other hand, she needs to get off my...

Now I am fantasizing about running away. To someplace warm and cheap, like Belize. They speak English there and I could set up my business there and/or teach reading. I’m so sick of dealing with my illness, my family including my children, and my friends just can’t relate. My t gave me the brush...

I change my skin when I think I’m about to be found out how damaged I am. First I excelled in school, then I became macrobiotic and ran a food coop, then I went back to my career, then I ran away to Europe for a year, then I got married and had two kids, so far the most rewarding me I’ve been...

I’m back in the emergency stage of recovery. Getting out of bed and going to work is almost impossible. Yesterday we had ice storm so I rescheduled my day. Basically all I do is get into bed and try to block my thoughts. I’m going crazy or I’m going to kill myself. It is so hard to care for the...

I can’t decide whether or not to get a protection from harassment order against my neighbor who has been making me crazy for 4 years. Why don’t I stand up for myself? She’s such a bully and no one ever gives her any consequences. Well I want to wait to see what my lawyer writes to her. She’s...

I just don’t know how this porch issue is going to play out. Anything legal takes so long. I usually am on the losing side. I go between exhausted and highly anxious. I hate waiting. It leaves a hole in my brain that I fill up with negativity. Such a bad habit. Thursday I was so depressed I...