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I get this....it's a piece I'm currently really working hard to put into context because one anniversary is 31 Dec. For me it's who I am inside, like you feel @TTC18, but the cause of that is what I've done or not done that's affected others. When I live but someone else dies....how does that...

You really really do deserve this support. I hope one day you’ll accept it as such and bask in that simple kindness from others. Much easier said than done I know, my story is different, but I understand....especially at this time of year. Something about you just makes me want to be here for...

@Sideways just wanted you to know I send you support, I think it’s great you’ll be breaking 2 rules at least tomorrow. I understand the SH battle and that it often makes so much sense to use as a coping mechanism. I posted something about my own struggles a while back (which take a different...

These I can accept: I am worthy of trust I am worthy of responsibility These I struggle with: I am worthy of love, compassion, protection, kindness. Why don’t I want to be? Because then I owe something in return. It’s not given for free. If I open to it, then I am no longer strong, i can...

Biggest one for me, diesel. Usually smell it when I’m driving, so unfortunately if I smell it my asshole driver module gets activated immediately ? I’ve worked hard on it but it still catches me.

Sending all my warrior chickens your way, you need them more than I do. Send them back after you can smile again. Wishing you can see the strength I see in you, but know how hard that is to do. Takes SOO much strength to ask for help, glad you did. Takes even more to not self harm. You are strong.

@EveHarrington you’re right, living room and bedroom. Have also been thinking maybe I can do what you did. Never have cuz the whole “sleep sanitation” routine shit. Not that I haven’t laid in bed all night staring at the ceiling for fear of sleep and the questions in the morning, rather than get...

After I posted this thread I explained to my SO that I would have 2 appointments this week. That it would be a tough week. That’s all I could get out. But step in the right direction this time. @Wendell_R i hope to be able to ask how to make the week manageable. It’s these conversations that I...

I could use some suggestions..... I agreed to target one of my traumas with my T this week, we have 2 appointments. At home....live in a 1 bedroom with my SO and there’s not much space. I’ve worked on other traumas before in therapy, but had my own space. My default is to hide my symptoms as...

@Friday you’re a freaking wizard to me. Your posts are pure wisdom that I understand. Not just here but on the site in general. Thank you for this bit of wisdom, I’m gonna add it to my weapons cache for when my brain goes to “weak piece of....”. It has gone there so frequently lately while I’m...

Thanks all, took me a bit to digest all the salient points you all gave. Still taking some in. I haven’t, and this is great. Never thought to ask. He says sometimes that he notices when things aren’t right with me, but it might be good to know what that means to him. I have a huge drive to...

this is all great and I’m thankful for the different perspectives, it really helps me to articulate what’s going on for me but also to understand that there are so many variations to how others cope and manage in relationships. @Sweetpea76 what you said helped me to understand the level of...

Thank you all for weighing in! When it comes to baby steps.....ah wow do I completely understand and get so frustrated when I desperately want those steps to be adult size! Very accurate though, I think if we go too fast it’s hard to stabilize....or is that just me? @Freida thats me, tough it...

I’m not sure how to start this off, both in my relationship or in this thread.....it circles around judgement, but my own is always far worse than others. So, I’ll try. My relationship has taken dedication and work on both sides to get to the point where we can say it’s a stable one as far as...