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journey

This so resonates! I decided to sell my house (the one I was never going to sell because it was my retirement income) because of flashbacks- so made a deal with the tenant to get out in 15 days. And I am about to (in the next) hour or so sign a deal that gets me less money to take it off my...

My T told me that she doesn't think that I am suicidal, but that I have a protective part that sees suicide as a way to protect me from pain. She told me ( this is what I understood from what she said anyway) that people who are suicidal are depressed and that it is a more of a constant feeling...

I'm very sorry for your loss.

I used to have horrible dreams about abusing my own kids and the kids I babysat. They are horrific. I am sorry that you are experiencing this. I agree with @PlainJane that doing something that is a distraction is helpful. I would just keep trying to do normal things and then try to push the...

I wrote this about 3 years ago. Thought I would share. You Don't Know You don't know how hard it is, Or how hard I try. Or the strength it take to live When I just want to die. I welcome silent slumber To relieve me from the pain. Of not belonging in this world, Never feeling like I'm sane...

Sharing a walk in the sunshine with my grandson.

I messed that up, I thought I was replying to plastic. Elation was the word Excited

bag

Marie's crackers, hummus, turkey, carrots, and gouda.

This just made things make a whole lot of sense to me. It is probably why my T thinks that my deeper issues stemmed from childhood. I told her that I used to have recurring nightmares about monsters as a child. My monsters were always invisible. I knew they were there but I could never actually...

Hi @laur7. Your title made me laugh. I never know what to put either. I find that hard EMDR sessions can be draining and make me feel off for a bit. My therapist always tells me to plan nothing right after and to drink lots of water. I compare sessions to a broken bone. The session itself is...

People say to take things day by day. Just get through one day. There are some times that is too hard. You need to get through hour by hour, perhaps even minute by minute. I have been there. Those are the times that you need to keep reaching out. It is never pointless to call because it can get...

@Complex1 it sounds like you need some real life support. Do you have a therapist that you can contact? Do you know a local help line number? With some help lines you may have to wait for someone to call you back, but they can be very helpful.

I can relate to this so much! I have several trauma anniversaries coming up from now until January. I was actually just about to post about the one happening tomorrow. Some years I am a complete mess, some years I don't even notice. It depends what kind of state I'm in leading up. I think what...

Hi Isabella. I am glad that you found this community.

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This is a really good question. I have never thought about it. I often see her as mean and manipulative. But I actually think that she is very caring and genuinely wants to help others. She experienced traumas too. And my parents were awful to her. They didn't understand her behaviour and could...

Thank you for your response @Defaultxlovee. My aunt used to say that I was a little flower child so I find your comment kind of funny. I just found out from an aunt ( a few days ago) that my dad used to tell us to get lost all the time and would never want us around. She used to worry about mys...

My brain keeps flipping between "maximizing" and "minimizing" childhood experiences. I grew up with a sister 7 years older than me who had undiagnosed bipolar disorder and parents who did not (could not?) acknowledge what as going on. I was terrified of her. She was kind, and buying me things...

@HealingMama , Sorry to hear that you are struggling. I am wondering how you are doing? You certainly are not alone with getting anxious in heavy traffic or about getting lost. I get that way a lot too. I imagine that it is pretty common. I am a mom of 3 and co-parent my 20 month old grandson...

Hi @Complex1. Im new here too. I'm sorry that your family doesn't believe you about your cousin. I believe you. I am sorry that you had to go through that. And that you weren't supported. And for all the other crappy things that happened. You didn't deserve any of it. I was almost assaulted...

@Survivor3 You definitely get it! I have a therapist that is very skilled with childhood trauma. She works with both children and adults. My husband and kids are good supports (youngest child is 20) but I try not to lean on them too much because they are dealing with their own issues. My parents...

I just realized that there is an introductions thread. So Hello. I don't know what so say about me, except that i'm here because the trauma in my life never ends. It started with being traumatized by my sister when i was little and notw the shit in my life just keeps happening over and over...

I'm taking time off work because a triggering event made it too hard to continue until I can get myself feeling better. I am finding that I want to push work friends ( and my husband's family) away because I will contaminate them. I am not like this with long time friends who have also gone...