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Been quite a while since I've bitched about my job here. So here goes again. 😁 Just sign the goddamn thing! Every delivery you have to sign this load sheet, every-f*cking-time. I have to sign the stupid f*cking thing in about 15 redundant places, you only have to sign it once. God forbid I...

I don't advertise it, nor do I try to lie about it. I know I have behaviours and reactions to things that are irrational. No matter how hard I've tried over the years to "blend in", sometimes I'm a little nuts. The way I see it, it's super obvious to everyone around me that "something" is...

Thank you. Agreed. I know this has been a problem for a while. The more I crap on myself the more I fail at things, the more I fail, the more reasons I have to crap on myself. I do this with my temper when I get angry about things outside of my head, it has been useful for stopping a tantrum...

Yeah that's a problem I've been running into. I have to research this more, it sounds like it's a mindfulness thing. Might be helpful if I can figure out how to do it. I can try. I don't have much patience for myself these days. I understand this is a process, God knows I've been fighting my...

This is of course correct. Sometimes I forget I'm looking back with the benefit of hindsight. It's hard to remember that I didn't know I wasn't going to catch Covid until after she passed. This is also a fair point. Whenever I try to do this I find I just can't. The best I've been able to do...

Ain't that the truth. My inner critic is getting very good at coming up with creative ways of telling me off. And round and round and round I go, where it stops only my subconscious knows. That's awful. I'm so sorry for your loss. Most days I couldn't imagine having children myself, I...

@Tinyflame I remember you as well, good to see you again. Thanks so much for your message it means alot that you shared that with me. Quite the opposite I assure you. It's an awful surprise isn't it? Though I remember having a feeling when she went to the doctor that morning it wasn't going...

You have a point there. I suppose the trick is to figure out how to get past the self loathing and accept the situation for what it is. That's been a thing for quite a while now. I'm not sure when it became the only way I speak to myself. But only myself, I would never speak to anyone else...

I don't do well with death. Probably no one really does. Besides I like to feel guilty about things apparently. OK enough stalling. Mum was diagnosed with her third cancer three and a half years ago, she went to the doctor about some swelling in her leg and came back with stage 4 lung...

Thank you. This is one of the reasons I'm back, been struggling with this since she passed. Long story short I think I shoved it deep down and carried on, as I tend to do with difficult feelings. This is a good idea. I think I will try this, it seems like it might be a little less...

Currently rereading Robert McCammon's "The Queen of Bedlam".

Hello again, it's been a while, about three years I think. I still recognize a few names. Well, good to see you all again. Where to begin? Let's see. I still work at the same crappy warehouse job. PTSD is still there but not as prevalent as it used to be. There's the good out of the way...

I found this in my recommended video list when I got home from work. This sums up how I feel pretty goddamned perfectly.

Not to mention many a cop that has suffered a broken finger leading a detained person by the cuff chain instead of the wrist or arm. Shit happens Fast.

Absolutely correct. Segregation was a terrible thing. Have you seen her acceptance speech? If you haven't you should watch it. I'll even do the legwork and link it. A incredible positive moment in American history and civil rights. Soon to be forgotten because no one in future generations...

Did you see his funeral? Al Sharpton spent a good chunk of time talking about everything but the man in the gilded (literally) casket.

They want to remove Gone with the wind from history for being racist? Hattie McDaniel was the first African American to be awarded an Oscar for her role in that film. This was before the civil rights movement and before affirmative action. You therefore know that she absolutely 100% earned...

I had another post lined up here. However, I realised while I was re-reading the question I had asked, that I felt very uncomfortable. I have been experiencing this feeling of discomfort quite often recently. I think this is no longer a good place for me to be. Time for me to walk away. Goodbye.

I didn't vote for or against Obama. I'm a Canadian citizen. I suppose having no say in how your country is governed made it easier to appreciate Obama. Not sure who I would have voted for in 08 were I able to. I was alot more liberal in those days. Our current PM has officially cured me of that...

Yup. The racism was so strong that not only did Obama win a democratic election, he won twice. Both times against two different white men. Good thing the ballots are counted like golf scores, so the lowest number wins. Or he'd have never stood a chance... Sarcasm aside. I didn't think he...

I personally don't take offense to being called a "white people". I am one. What I take exception to is the automatic assumptions about my character based on the amount of melanin in my skin. That because I'm white must mean I care less about people that look different than me. That my refusal...

Oh thank God, I was starting to think I was the last person left on earth that could see this.

Well, here's an interesting update. Additional charges filed in George Floyd case: BBC News

That's where the "always room for improvement part comes in. Because, yes. That is terrifying. I can absolutely see how something like this could get me killed (were I a gun owner). Because yeah I don't commit crimes, I have no reason to expect the police to one day kick my door down and invade...

How do you demilitarize a Special Weapons and Tactics unit without removing the weapona and tactics, short of disbanding them? I do put a little bit of thought into what I write here, believe it or not. Edit: Sorry, that's not meant to sound so snarky as it reads.