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I tend to shy away from social media quite a bit. I think I have just been exposed to too much of the extreme with it. My mother is severely narcissistic, and she passed a lot of her issues onto my brother, as well. My mother is an extremely fake person, and uses social media quite a bit to...

@WhiteHatGirl you are perceiving something real, when you are perceiving that someone is shaming you and blaming you for being a victim of a predator. However, that someone is you. It's your own subconscious mind, your own inner child, that is filled with toxic shame. That is why you see and...

I don't experience any conscious awareness of anxiety, not the sort of anxiety where I feel it, like with a panic attack. But, I do get really severe insomnia the night before every therapy session. I usually wind up being up all night and then going to therapy dead-tired the next day.

Hang in there with no contact / grey rock, it's so worth it and sounds like you are doing really great. Sometimes there is also even hope for the golden child, they are just desperate and misguided and just want to be loved, some of them break free later in life, my brother did (mostly).

Yes I am very hypervigilant-protective of children, for the same sort of reasons. I was so ticked off eventually over all the people hoaxing about some of that pizza place stuff a while back, my anxiety was so bad for weeks I about lost my mind. I understand that it was mostly a lot of trolls...

Also as far as being scared of medications, I completely understand how that can feel. There is a lot of "unknown" involved and the internet is rife with the worst of the worst stories. Having a quality psychiatrist can make a really big difference, where they make sure you can contact them to...

I think medication can help some people, yet not everyone, and also that different medications will help different people, in essence medication A may help person B, but not person C, who may do much better on medication D, while person E may no benefit from any medications. Often the only way...

I can feel some of where you are coming from, sonicwhite. Like when you have been through a lot of terrible crap, your brain is jacked up as a result, you find something that makes you feel and function somewhat better, and then everyone and their uncle hops on the conditioned knee jerk reaction...

This is the biggest indicating factor in my perception. Children who are just exploring with each other do not feel that what they are doing is wrong and needs to be kept a secret. For example kids who play doctor because they realize people's bodies look different under their clothes, and they...

Thank you so much. I think everything is okay again for now. Like I've mentioned before I had a therapist who thought I had DID, and while I don't think I have that exactly, like it's not full-blown with amnesiac barriers or different personalities, I do think I have something similar, just not...

Today I called the number on the back of my Medicaid card. I was bounced around a few times and had to call a couple extra numbers, but finally I was on the line with someone who could tell me which psychiatrists in my whole area will actually take my insurance, since so far everywhere else I...

Heya thanks for asking. I haven't received a call back from anywhere I have tried or left a message so far. Feels pretty weird, trying not to be wigged out by it. Have another place I am calling tomorrow morning. Actually had a pretty good day yesterday. I am casual friends with the neighbor...

Still no return call from the one place, and it has been a week now. Tried getting through to the other place today, multiple calls, none of them had someone pick up, just a recording saying that the receptionist is busy. I left a message with my name, number and asking someone to call me back...

No call today. Just moving on then I guess. There is a facility about half an hour's drive away that has psychiatrists/therapists and does sliding scales, which means they wouldn't reject me just because I use Medicaid / pay out of pocket. So I will call them in the morning until I get through...

Yeah I'm trying not to be too ironic. "I'm not paranoid, and I bet other psychiatrists told you bad things about me, didn't they?!" I can still poke fun at myself, so I guess I'm not totally off the deep end yet. I'm just so used to not being believed or having my concerns dismissed. I get...

They didn't call me today. I'm just reminding myself that the receptionist used the word "probably." "He will probably call you this afternoon or tomorrow. But yes we are taking new patients right now." I had called a place before that, and the receptionist told me that they wouldn't accept me...

Sorry everyone. I had a panic attack in the Uber and asked him to turn around, and came back home. In the end I was too scared to leave my dog. I got back home and held my dog and cried for a while. I just needed to cry for a while. My mother tried to gaslight me half to death and acted creepy...

I'm not really sure what is happening to me. I feel like I am cycling through different intense emotions and perceptions too fast. Something feels very wrong. It is like one hour I feel suicidal, the next hour I feel like beating my mother with a hammer, the next hour I feel like running away...

Part of me feels so embarrassed and guilty. I hope the people who decide who can stay at the shelter for a while are able to understand. I imagine that they will ask me questions to determine if I am a candidate, and when I try to think of how to words things, to me it sounds like I am just...

I found a shelter. I have emailed them anonymously using a throwaway account to ask them some questions. One question if they can accommodate a small dog or if I need to rehome the dog first, the other question if they are still willing to work with someone if the person is not currently...

Just in case, I have gathered all of my belongings together. I have 5 outfits of sweatpants, shorts, t-shirts and sweaters, socks and one bra. My laptop, a phone that has a $45 recharge fee per month (cards bought at a store), earbuds. Deodorant, toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, hairbrush...

I had a college peer a ways back when I attempted to take a couple classes. He works for a dog daycare a few cities away. I looked on his facebook back then because he had talked to me a couple times, and I always get nervous when people seem to randomly talk to me, just hypervigilance crap. So...

I'm still hanging in there. My family members are doing the same horse and pony show that I have been used to for so many years now. My mother talks with my like everything is fine, ignores my email completely and pretends like it never existed. I know by now that the idea here is that they are...

I started smoking the day I turned 18. On the day of my birthday I walked down to the gas station, bought a pack of cigarettes, went back home and smoked one. And then kept smoking for years.. almost 11 years now, it has been. It did help back then, the instant and habitual stress relief...

Good news. She is giving me the silent treatment. This is the best outcome possible. Now to just bunker down until Monday.