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That's an amazing thing to do with an anniversary time and to accept the progress you've made. Another thread reminded me of why accepting progress is so difficult for me - it's that feeling that if I believe I'm doing okay, something bad will happen to push me down.

Yes it's okay to stay at home all day. But the choice to stay at home may be based on caring for yourself and giving yourself the time that you need. Or it may be based on avoiding fears about going out. The fears still make it okay, but are also something to find help with for the longer term

I know this feeling too well. But I think there is logic in it when you've experienced abuse, particularly abuse from people you have relationships with (family, friends, partners) because that's what they do - they hurt you and make it feel like you deserve nothing better. And if you look...

I read this and thought about myself at different times of life, but I really struggle with connecting to it or to those parts of me. I did some parts work in therapy, but it's too much. I think I've come to some acceptance that there are parts and it's something I need to be aware of. At the...

I found university difficult too. I dropped out the first time - I was in a violent relationship and taking drugs and eventually that part of me won against the one that could write essays. I went back later in life twice. It doesn't matter how qualified I am, I struggle to stay in jobs because...

It sounds good, but I'm finding this point in my life really difficult. It feels like walking a wire that I could fall off with any movement. Part of that is knowing that the next step for me would be to socialize more - but all of my trauma and all of my triggers come from relationships with...

Of course. And that's why I use language like, in my mind and the child me. It's awareness of how my own experiences affect how I perceive those of others. It's all part of PTSD and falling in to different parts, particularly child parts. Mine are not well equipped for dealing with...

I agree with the first statement. But in the second statement, it sounds like your expectation of repairing the rupture is for him to admit that he's wrong and take all (or most) of the responsibility for your experience of this situation. In my mind, those feelings are connected to abuse...

@beaneeboo What would happen if you turned this on it's head. You paint a pretty awful picture, so what motivated you to consider going back to him?

In your post here, you have explained clearly and reasonably. I think to write it down like this and hand pass it to your therapist could open up a conversation about how they can support you.

Thank you @arfie , I've had hard day feeling not good enough for anyone today, so reading your post means a lot.

Thank you for sharing that @arfie . I think I have some way to go before towards that resolution, but the terror has gone and I think I wasn't blaming myself in the dream. So that's a good thing from a bad dream

To my mind, a therapist that has only seen you for a few weeks shouldn't have suggested a further diagnosis. I don't know what country you live in, but there is a huge difference in the rate that diagnoses are handed out in different countries. It doesn't mean that the severity of symptoms...

,@Sideways , I see that they could be counted as re-experiencing and I guess this says that I'm not over it and have some way to go. But this is quite different to flashbacks as I've experienced with more severe PTSD symptoms. It feels different, and okay, I might still have PTSD but this is a...

I have a complex history of abuse from childhood into teen and adult relationships. In some respects the development of PTSD in my thirties after what I call my final trauma, led to me avoiding relationships and ultimately led to the end of a cycle of abuse. Now after years of therapy, I'm...

When I first got PTSD symptoms, I used to have nightmares that would wake me up in a panic convinced that something terrible had happened. I kind of understand that initial stage of unprocessed trauma and what I describe as flashback dreams (not sure that's the right description) But now I'm...

I've been single for 20 years, so am not the best to help answer your question from experience as I've never had one. But it is something I've explored a lot in therapy and I've come to the conclusion that understanding how people are with each other in relationships isn't the thing that will...

I recognise so much of what you say. Even now, I downplay the sexual abuse that happened within relationships but when I read your post, I can recognise that it is so damaging. This statement is the truth of it. You can't heal abuse while you're still being abused, and you are still being...

Something of a revelation, particularly in the saviour or people pleasing role was that my motivation to make things better for others is more self-centred than it appears on the outside. To ask myself, am I actually doing this for the other? Or am I fulfilling a need in myself? Is helpful. I...

To me, this does sound passive aggressive. I think sometimes when we try to make our anger sound polite, it does still come across I can imagine if I was upset that I would feel like he was being defensive. But when I look at this coldly, he's said that he's uncomfortable and he's put down...

I've left an abusive relationship (I didn't have PTSD at that time) and I've removed myself from friendships that triggered symptoms. From my perspective, the advice given to victims of DV and isolating oneself due to PTSD are very different. The advice to someone leaving a DV situation is...

I struggle to find words for emotions, and when I'm emotional words don't seem to describe what's going on in my mind. I tend to use imagery to describe what I'm feeling, and it's special when I find someone that understands my feeling language. But I have done 5 rhythms dance and ecstatic...

In my experience of my life, it's normal for setting boundaries to trigger feelings related to trauma. But people have different experiences and what's normal for me might not be normal for someone else - likewise, what's normal for someone else, I might find difficult to understand because it's...

Is it okay to post a link to an article here? My apologies if not. This article seems to provide an answer lots of questions about diagnostic differences and it answers the question on this thread too. ICD-11 complex post-traumatic stress disorder: simplifying diagnosis in trauma populations |...

I think there's been several rock bottoms through my life. Maybe the worst one was age 13/14. That was worse because I didn't have the power to change anything because I was a kid, and I didn't have the life experience to know that those feelings would end. In later times when I found myself...