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So after seeing specialist and GP, they won't give me any pain relief for abdominal/back pain as it'll ininteract with my other medications/health conditions :( So I've just got to put up with being in constant pain - it's been over 4 months now!!! I'm going out to invest in a hot water bottle...

So, I finally have an appointment (after being quite assertive with my GP!) to see a colorectal surgeon for a consultation about my rectocele on 20th November! = Yey! But also eeeek!! What should I expect? GP said I'm going to have to let them look and examine me = flashback hell, I think I'll...

So, I've been doing really well emotionally at the mo. My psych has discharged me & added Bipolar to my diagnosis which is positive. But I'm feeling stagnant in therapy. I haven't achieved anything in weeks and my T is starting to bore me with her lectures & starting to sound like a broken...

I've been discharged from my psychiatrist! :D Yey! But can still get my GP to re-refer me if needed :) We talked about how lamotrigine has worked :) - We're going to try increasing the dose as it's currently at a sub-therapeutic dose, so going to try going up to 250 & come back down if side...

Hi all :) Mentally I'm doing really well at the minute :) I'm enjoying being back at work and loving spending time with my class :) I'm on top if everything, including my new job role and feeling relaxed - even colleagues are commenting how much more chilled I am :) Having a lovely team, who...

Ok, after huge self harm urges for days, due to the sensation on insects crawling under the skin of my legs & catastrophysing about still bleeding down there, I given in... *sigh* To be fair, not serious - I have a history of cutting razor blades, having scars all over my abdomen, arms & legs...

So, saw GP yesterday... Am tolerating lamotrigine well :D (just typical reactions when it comes to my super sensitive body!! Need to sort my diet out & eliminate certain foods to lower the effects of IBS & acid reflux...) I very reluctantly mentioned issues bleeding down below - we're changing...

Been trying to write this post for days, unsuccessfully!!... Well, after T pushing for over a year that I told my man about sexual abuse and her giving up trying as I wasn't prepared to... Finally, on Wed I had to tell him. We'd been away at the weekend, he did something sensual and I reacted...

Finally saw the psych today. Usually I go with my therapist, but went on my own. Really wish I hadn't :( I felt totally judged - she couldn't see past my BPD diagnosis, despite the fact that last time I saw her she said I was on the bipolar spectrum as well... Urgh!!! So, aripiprazole she put me...

So, after about 6 week's Off quetiapine, trying to change over to the evil drug that is aripiprazole, I'm back on it again... :) :) :) Yes, it's still up in the air as to whether it caused my manic spell or if that was purely coincidence, but hey, it's working already after just 2 days of being...

So, finally my body has given in - had pretty bad panic attack yesterday that freaked me out and scared me big time. Made emergency appointment to see GP and been signed off for the week. Am gutted :( Really hard as still on the manic side so need to do stuff, but am also very shaky so achieving...

So, been on 5mg for 2 weeks, due to go up tonight... Lots of the side effects have settled (nor sure if some of then we're withdrawall too) but struggling with restlessness (not surprising considering I'm still manic!) & horrendous iintolerance to heat. It's absolutely suffocating and constant...

So, been on 5mg for 2 weeks, due to go up tonight... Lots of the side effects have settled (nor sure if some of then we're withdrawall too) but struggling with restlessness (not surprising considering I'm still manic!) & horrendous iintolerance to heat. It's absolutely suffocating and constant...

After a 3 month long manic spell, with no more than 3 hours sleep a night (1 for the last week!!!) dr has prescribed diazepam - what a relief. :) I was totally relaxed last night, so much less restless (usually I can't even sit still at night!!). Although sleep was very broken, I still probably...

Psych prescribed zopiclone as I was weaning off quetiapine and mitazapine, due to q manic episode, and starting aripriprazole. As I was manic (still am, but less so...) I was averaging 3 hours sleep, instead of the 8 I used to get on mitazapine and quetiapine. However, since coming Off both...

Anyone tried these? Did they help? I'm worried as it's been packaged as something to solve all my issues - don't believe it! It looks like from what I've read that it'll stop the mania but psych packaged it as a mood stabiliser, anti depressant, anti anxiety etc etc.... Let's see...

I think mania may finally be easing (not that I've changed drugs yet as not seeing GP til Thurs!!!) Just feeling really low. Glad I'm working at holiday club this week so have some respite from myself!! :( I went to mate's wedding over weekend - was a friend who I went through therapy with...

I finally saw psychiatrist yesterday. It was ok I guess, but feeling a lil fobbed off. She belittled my concerns over dissociation and said they were just a symptom - doesn't seem good enough to me, they're pretty debilitating for me :( And then when I asked her what is going on at the moment...

After trying to increase my quetiapine 2 months ago, I have gone back down to original dose; lowered my mitazipine dose and I'm *still* manic :'( Getting worried now that it's not just drug induced - surely it should have stopped by now?... I have 2 sisters who are bipolar, now worrying I am...

So, I struggle a lot with somatisation & recently diagnosed with this :( Anyone else suffer? Found any good medications/strategies etc to help ease the pain? I'm 30 but feel like I'm about 80 as body so stiff and sore. Simple tasks are becoming harder & harder :'( Grr!

Saw T today. In the middle of a 6 week manic episode caused by quetiapine. Still waiting to see psych. T said she'd never seen me this bad in the whole 2 years she's known me. Oops! & she's beginning to worry that it's not easing :( We talked about ways to calm myself down, including relaxation...

Ok, so I have just had my dose increased. Only by 25mg at a time as I have a history of not tolerating drugs. Before at this dose I was very sedated. But, it's caused me to become manic: am working in fast forward; hate sitting still; incredibly productive & creative; excessive spending; hardly...

Please move if I've put this in the wrong place... So, lots has happened since I last posted. Currently feeling very lost, overwhelmed, empty & low :( Saw T on Mon, but it was totally pointless. I was an empty shell. I had nothing to give and really struggled to talk and communicate. I did...

Ooooouch!! Worst somatic flashback in a looong time... It hurts so much. Hate them as I can't control them. Hasn't been this bad in ages. I just want it to stop. Feel like I'm being punished... Feel so dirty... so painful :'( I've had a positive couple of days so why is this...

So, had therapy yesterday. We were supposed to be installing a safe place using EMDR. Last time we tried I struggled, so I went prepared with pics of my safe place I'd chosen, sounds etc, confident it would work. But... Yet again I failed :,( I was able to talk about the place, feel calm and...