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@Heather Anxiolytic = anti-anxiety I take holy basil 300mg twice a day. Sometimes I drink the tea if I'm having an extra rough day. It usually takes anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes to fully kick in. When I first started taking it, it was a revelation. I went from incredibly hypervigilant, tense...

@Heather I've had taurine in those recovery protein shakes they make for bodybuilders as an active ingredient, but I can't say I've had any isolated experience with it. It's usually promoted as a workout recovery supplement since it works on the cardiovascular system, but it also seems to work...

@CrowFeather I forgot about magnesium! Great stuff for anxiety - and sleep! Unfortunately, magnesium supplements give me tremors for some reason. It may be because I was taking magnesium taurate. I've read the body processes chelated variants differently. But yes, I'd definitely put magnesium...

I'm a big fan of natural solutions to PTSD. I spent years on antidepressants, antipsychotics, benzos - pretty much every tool in the psychiatrist's sample bin, I tried it. All they did was make me gain weight, sleep, drink heavily, deteriorate physically, and avoid dealing with my issues. Not to...

I still have the scars on my wrists from my suicide attempt 3 years ago. They aren't nearly as bad, but they're there if you look. Fortunately, I've become less self-conscious about them and no one has pointed them out to me, so I hardly think about them any more!

@MandyLou thanks for the encouragement, it helped! I decided to write my sister an e-mail, reaching out a bit. Was actually honest with how I felt and didn't try to dance around the family issue that comes between us (my dad). Thanks!

I used to be big into moral nihilism and I definitely have issues with power dynamics. My father was a bad man, from where I'm standing. But my therapist has also tried to get me to realize that he was probably a victim too, and is hurt in his own way. Hurt people hurt people. It's very...

Bit bummed. I can't seem to connect w/ my sisters and it saddens me. My youngest sister is an alcoholic. I'm still stuck in my room. I'm afraid to open up about my past, even on a website where I'm anonymous. It still scares me. Being scared makes me feel less of a man. I'm surrounded by tough...

A lot of this makes sense to me personally. I have a hard time piecing together the facts of my past. I've repressed so much over such a long period of time, I have huge gaps in memory. I also have a pretty active imagination, so that doesn't help either. The part that really speaks to me is...

lol @ the electron joke. I needed some cheering up, good on ya!

:hug:

quiet and ~musical~

You know how elderly people will complain about their joints and their bones hurting before it rains? I get this, and migraines sometimes too. Which in turn makes me cranky. Which domino effects into fits of rage if I'm not careful.

:hug: @TheKunBaBa

@sun seeker Yeah, I do a lot of scheming around the social aspects of making my future plans a reality. I'm convinced I can make a living on the internet somehow. We'll see that goes, haha! RE: projections. I do a lot of work in therapy learning how not to react. People are going to have...

@Bipfroggit I don't have any, but they sound awesome. I really want a steel drum. And a keyboard to make electronic music. And a better computer to do mixing and production! You've got me daydreaming now! :D

For the first one, I've learned that people that are hellbent on misunderstanding you aren't worth trying to make understand. Took me a looooong time to really "get" that one though. That said, all of that goes out the window when I'm confronted with new people and new situations. As for the...

I'm in this exact same spot. You expressed it perfectly! I'm interested in seeing how others got through this.

Yea definitely! I used to be a proficient artist - I was constantly working on some new video or script or song. It wasn't until recently when I was re-traumatized that I stopped creating anything. 1) I think I'm blocked. That part of me is still hurt. 2) Whenever I do draw something or try and...

I'm a male survivor of childhood sexual trauma and two of my closest friends growing up (who I've lost touch with unfortunately) were also survivors. What are the odds? I think survivors develop similar coping strategies, which in turn affects their personality, which in turn motivates us to...

I feel snoggy. Sleeping, sniffly and foggy. It's a new word ok.

That's awesome @gizmo! I'm excited for you!

I hope this marks the beginning of good things for you @Exedra! It's a tough road and I feel like I've aged 20 years in 3, but keep hangin' in there.

Gotta say though, you guys are the best! I was getting into a hole with this and almost deleted this thread and your replies really make me feel like I'm not out of my mind. I really appreciate the support everybody! :inlove: And yes, @lostforgottensoul, it's exactly that feeling that I don't...

YES @mary1979! I feel like I'm talking about someone else's life and it feels false or like I made it up or I'm missing just this one important component and ARRRRGGGH it's that I'm a fraud and everyone knows that I'm a fraud. That exposure feeling is the worst.