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I talked to some family who know about filing a report, I said I understood that I do not have enough evidence to press stalking charges but I can at least make a report. One said that I should not make a report and just tell the whole family so they know to keep him away. I tried to explain...

nurturing

To be honest, I just want to feel safe, and I find myself eagerly waiting the day his health declines from all the drugs so I can find my peace, and I feel so ugly feeling that way.

This has been bothering me and causing much fear and I need a safe place to let it out. First I need to explain the situation first. Over a year ago I stopped talking to the family member who preyed on me as a child. I avoid him and most family situations out of fear of running into him and...

All that sounds like good ideas. I do not worry much (but I do a bit) about being dropped, its just my past attackers were friends and lover, and I do not look at people the same since. Everyone including the people I love, I see as a potential danger. I have been working on it, but it is so...

So my coach from one of my MMA classes invited me on a group hike. I went to highschool with him and we met again in class. So I somewhat know him, and have a bit more trust in him then the average person. Normally people would find an invite like this exciting, and fun. I do to some extent. My...

Thank you everyone. Your words mean a lot to me, I just get so confused sometimes. My life has had constant trauma since I can first register what is going on in my surroundings and it is hard to understand the world around me. I worry because I know this confusion can be a symptom of another...

Triggers happen all the time. Scents, comments, sights, and more can take me back. I worry constantly that I am going to have a panic attack, or defensive anger outburst. I feel so crazy when it happens. It could be a panic attack where I freak out and can't breathe, or even worst, I go nuts and...

Ptsd. It f*cken sucks! I am sad a lot of the time, I feel like a burden. My brain just does not work the way it used too, the way I want it to. And every time I am reminded that this is because my ptsd, I am forced to remember where it came from. Growing up I was very sheltered. My mother...

Sorry it took so long for a reply, I kinda of step away for a bit. It's crazy because I feel the same way. It sucks because I get so well I think I am never going to have to face it again but it always comes back. As time goes by I can manage better but sometimes it is just to hard. Especially...

The thing is, I carry on through life ignoring the danger but I know it is always there. I pretend its not, but I get reminded randomly, constantly. It is no wonder I freak out and feel unsafe so often. Its hard to explain the constant fear and denial. Maybe its nothing, just empty threats meant...

arfie yes I understand that, but I don't really get angry, I get scared and panicky. I freak out, I feel unsafe and scared of everyone and I start crying or pacing or rocking myself repeating things I don't remember, my bf say I mostly say its my fault over and over again or I am so sorry. I get...

Thanks you both.

I wanted to write a whole lot about how I feel but I can't Right now I am feeling stuck and helpless. I have been having trouble with so much lately. People keep using the word tantrum to explain my episodes and saying I go back to being the girl I was when the abuse happened. But they are never...

Guilt! I know that it is a part of PTSD but I feel some is greatly deserved. I witnessed and stayed silent through so much. I can come up with as many excuses as I want, but I know what I did was so horribly wrong. Who I am now is just horrified by the actions in itself. I need to talk to...

My dogs get me out of the house a lot. I go running and hiking with them all the time. It helps keep me occupied and be able to see the beauty I miss out on when I get depressed and stay in. They make me excited to come home from work etc.. because when I get there they celebrate and cuddle...

To be honest I have been talking to him and trying to teach him for two years now and he does not seem to get it. I am wondering if I should except this part of him or if I should continue to try to teach him. I think maybe couple therapy would help but I do not think he would want to go. I mean...

Hi I have been in a over four year relationship with an amazing man. He is great, patient, loyal, hard working and more. When we first met we connected quickly. My last relationship was abusive to the point he almost killed me by strangling me several times. With my new bf ******* I have...

I listen to this song and it really connected with me, maybe it can connect with you to, I put it in the success column called "be not so fearful" let me know what you think.

I am very sorry to hear the reaction you have gottan. I am sure many people including myself can relate in many ways. People treat me as if I am crazy and nothing happen to which I consider to be one of the hardest parts of ptsd, is the judgment the doubt. I wish I can be crazy, I wish it could...

I heard this song on a show and it touched me so much I couldn't help brake down and cry. As a sufferer of ptsd it just touched my soul and gave me sense of comfort. I will put the lyrics and encourage those who enjoyed and connected to to listen to the song by Bill Fay, I like the AC Newman...

@Ed It did a lot, I felt as if I was reliving the emotions over and over, the fear building and building, but I just let it out in a way that I did not have to be detailed and I got a lot of support for it. Usually my anxiety would get worst and worst but I feel I can fight it much better now.

Sometimes when I feel like I am not good enough for my bf or my mental state is such a burden on him and I want him to be happy I think about leaving him because I want him to be happy, and other times when I feel so much guilt and pain and like everythings my fault, I do consider going back to...

Relief will come, its hard I know but when you continue to fight you will get your relief, it may not be as consistent at first, but it will, it may not happen right away but it will. Know that. I always remind myself that I feel this way but I will not always feel this way, I will find my...

It did help and so did all the people here on the website. Sending internet hugs and high fives ;)