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  1. H

    Seeing A Pale Reflection Of Someone You Hate | In The Mirror

    On Tuesday, I'm starting an intensive six week program. I'm assuming it'll have different types of therapy, but I'll find out soon enough. I guess the problem I'm having is looking at the person in the mirror and recognizing him. I used to be fun. Fearless. Even in the face of danger. Two...
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    Going For Treatment - Frightened

    As some of you may know, I've been dealing with severe levels of dissociation and possibly DID as well. Thanks to a certain member that has consistently told me that I should consider inpatient treatment and that my levels of dissociation are serious, I took a good look at how much I needed help...
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    Moving On From Therapy

    At the moment, I'm more lonely than I've felt in a long time and the situation confuses me. So much that at times, suicidal ideations give me the happiness and satisfaction that asking for help doesn't give me. After having so many bad therapists, I finally have a good one. The issue with this...
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    DID Did alter confusion

    I was diagnosed with did but i'm quite confused about the stage of DID. Generally I'm a self aware person. I can communicate my alters but they know they are alters. How is that possible? They tell me things like I created them and I need them or they are stronger than me and can handle more...
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    Being Confused About Your Own Mental Health

    I have been diagnosed with PTSD among other things like D.I.D. It is nights like these that frighten me the most; it is ironic what I find frightening and I would just like to know how people cope and even help themselves understand that it isn't over. Reading back on threads I notice my level...
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    Zoning Blackouts?

    I haven't told my therapist yet, mostly because I've just not gotten over my fear in trusting one but lately, it seems these Blackouts are worse each time they happen. I could be sitting in front of my computer and I'd zone out with my eyes open, kind of like I leave my own body. I kind of just...
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    Working While Having Ptsd And Borderline?

    I have been diagnosed with PTSD, Borderline and I believe some form of Schizophrenia (meaning it's not very intense but I do have it) and it gets bad sometimes. I've worked in many different jobs before; some big tech corporations and also as a journalist. Some small jobs as well. I don't mean...
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    Going In Circles

    Hi guys, It's been a while since I've logged in and posted, but I'm able to be back now to participate. I went to the therapist I wrote about previously, pursuing DBT. She's great. I'm finding it helpful. I am comfortable with her, however I'm going back into the hiding state. Some of you may...
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    Change Coming, But I'm Lost More Than Ever

    Hi guys. Normally I'd never post when it comes to being really vulnerable and honest, but seeing as to how I've never felt this before, I feel quite lost. Intensely. After I left the therapist, things started spiraling downwards. Not that it wasn't spiraling downwards before, but I guess I...
  10. H

    How To Recover From Confusing Therapy?

    Most of you have been up-to-date with my plan to officially go to that new therapist next week, that specialist and a lot of you are also aware of the therapist I have now, who's friendly, kind and one that I've trusted like no other T in my life before. However, today with my last session with...
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    Uncontrollable Zoning Experiences

    Hi guys, I've been noticing something quite scary and I'm not sure if this is "normal" for people with PTSD and BPD (Borderline). There are these moments where I have intense thoughts (millions of thoughts running through my head). A lot of those thoughts are violent thoughts towards myself...
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    What Can I Expect In General From Exposure Therapy?

    Hi guys, as many of you have given me wonderful advice, I'd like to thank everyone! I am seeing the new therapist I mentioned before that was a specialist. She will be treating my PTSD and Anxiety + Borderline through talk therapy as well as exposure therapy. She has her own nice little practice...
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    Talking About Trauma To Your Therapist

    As most of you know, as child I was abused both physically and the other type. However, this goes into a topic that I don't know if I should talk about with my therapist. [EDIT] (after I wrote it in detail, I ended up wanting to not be so descriptive and minimize the detail for my own feeling...
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    DID Is dissociative identity disorder real?

    I've had two therapists. One who thinks I have DID and the one who says DID isn't real and there isn't sufficient evidence to prove it's a real disorder. Both of the advice really caused me to get so confused I don't really know what to believe anymore. I do believe in it I just get confused...
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    Why Was I Asked About Tingles?

    I was diagnosed with PTSD among Asperger's and BoPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). During the diagnosis process, she asked me if I ever felt tingles in my body and if they felt painful or bothersome. I said yes and then a few minutes later after reading things she wrote down she was...
  16. H

    Consistent Throbbing

    I am not even sure if the title is accurate, however it is the only thing that resembles its origin. I don't think it relates to PTSD (or it may), but when I'm NOT in therapy, my mind is consistently, every minute of every second, throbbing. In thought. Thinking. Paranoid. Unwell. It's really...
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    DID Confused about the diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder (did)

    In an intense, 2 hour session, I was recently diagnosed by a specialist with DID. I read somewhere online that in order to be diagnosed by it, the personalities have to be present. However, she diagnosed me within the two hour session just based on my answers to her questions about the symptoms...
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    Re-starting Therapy Or Continue?

    As some of you may know, I previously wrote how my new T was the best I had. She's super friendly, caring and relatable. She shares just so I feel comfortable to share as well and I need one of those therapists that are "people first and therapist alongside." Some people find it not so ethical...
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    Running Again

    As some of you know, I've not had good luck with therapists. My most recent Therapist is amazing. Funny, friendly, caring, yet supportive with a good amount of forceful care when it comes to trying to get me to talk. She often says she's proud. I find myself not wanting to return. Just leave. I...
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    Is This A Flashback, Dissociation Or A Delusion? Or Something Else?

    Lately, I've been doing better IN therapy. For the first time, I'm actually able to vervalize. This coming Monday, I will hopefully try and read my story out loud to my T. That's beside the point, however it might have something to do with it, which is why I'm adding it in the first place...
  21. H

    Write Or Change?

    I love writing about news, reviews and life experiences. Especially in the tech field, sometimes in psychology. Recently, I have gotten to a point where I wrote my s. abuse story. After that, my head started hurting, I became more paranoid, on the edge and couldn't sleep. People made comments...
  22. H

    Going Around In Circles? Gets Better, Back To Worse

    Today's session with my T went excellent. We both expressed how much we appreciated each other in this trusting, growing and professional relationship and I finally told her most everything, written. I haven't yet had the strength to talk about everything, but the issues at hand were openly...
  23. H

    Compulsive Lying In Fear

    For as long as I can remember, I never loved my brother. I really want to. He loves me like I'm his son. Every word of support out of my mouth has been a lie. I don't love him and I feel like a horrible person because of it. He's showed me nothing but love after I betrayed him so many times...
  24. H

    Paranoia & Sensations During Sleep

    I feel ashamed for admitting this or even having this as a problem. I'm in my 20s, but sometimes, I'm terrified of the dark. When I was a kid, my abuser would turn off the lights everywhere, then he'd walk in wearing a light-up Christmas tree hat and start licking me before he did anything...
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    Paranoia? Scared Of Therapy?

    As some of you know, my new T is fantastic and she's cheerful. One of the good things is that she has one of those personalities that you just can't be sad in front of. But I have an upcoming appointment in which I've wanted to tell her about some dissociative symptoms. I've been terrified and...
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