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I'm bipolar but my biggest struggles are with depression lately. All I am thinking about is having an entire week to seriously isolate soon, no one will be home but me. But I'm also an addict and alcohol so isolating is not good for me. I have so many tools to help me not fall into this...

I am having a lot of trouble with my sister lately. I love her dearly but she doesn't understand why I take medication for my bipolar, she often says things like, this is why I loved my therapist for not labeling me with bipolar or anything because I didn't want a label and I didn't want to have...

Maybe a month now my depression has been getting worse again. I'm sure seasonal depression contributes to that. I've been crying myself to sleep some nights. I've found myself imagining myself now feeling embraced in my abusers arms like I once felt when I was a child. Just being held by them...

It's like flash cards showing me images in my mind. After I had neuro feedback where she tapped into my right side of my brain, I was a disaster. I am in recovery of drugs and the first thing I did was seek out a script. I got one somehow and used for two days and stopped. What happened, what...

Last two weeks I've been going to neuro feedback therapy along with my other therapy. I'm also in recovery coming back from a drug relapse a week ago. I had two nightmares last two nights. I don't know where to post this so I'm posting under discussion. I am not sure what I'm even looking for...

I'm sitting at work feeling stuck in memories, I was triggered and next thing you know I'm frozen feeling like I'm bring raped all over again as a child and these memories are just stuck in my mind, I can't escape them and I'm really trying hard to not use.

I promised my T today that if I wanted to take more medication than what is prescribed and or if I was taking meds I'm not prescribed to anymore, that I would tell my wife and ask her for help to get me through the moment or moments that I feel a need to. I didn't hold to that promise already...

so I'm feeling sick and depressed today. Last night I tried to have sex and basically hard to say but I felt like I was raping myself. Ugh. I feel abnormal. We have a safe word and I don't have to talk about anything. I don't know why this would make start me thinking of physically hurting...

I actually thought I could through the week between sessions this time with out falling into a depressive state because it didn't happen right after therapy like it does normally. And I had an extremely tough session, and group that evening that made me finally cry some. I felt okay like I am...

I lost my innocence when I was 7. Though I was beaten prior to that or at least my body memories tells me so with reliving physical pain on my head. At 7 though something more happened. I used to be happy in pictures although I don't remember those moments much. I started disassociating and...

I cried a lot tonight. Had a triggering night hearing other peoples stories of sexual abuse.

yesterday i had a panic attack, I broke down and over medicated. Feeling so tired today from it, and I feel like I want to sleep for days now cuz I'm also upset about it. I took three atavans that I had stashed away that i dont even have a script for anymore and a double dose of clonapin. Plus...

It was never my fault I only needed to feel loved I did everything you wanted me to do I need to hate you now, not me I've been hurt enough I can not forgive you for this I have to bury this burden I am angry with you now And finally not myself just some thoughts tonight as I sit here trying...

the hardest part for me right now is to not hurt my body someway somehow thinking that would be easier.

I am depressed. I disassociated. I feel like crying. When will it ever get better. It's scary moving on but more scarier to not move on. I feel so upset that I just...poof gone...and no one knew. I was absent from my own mind. What was so bad that I couldn't deal. What was I reliving. I hate...

I blacked out last night at some point and apparently watched something on tv,I talked to my wife, None if which I remember. Prior to that I felt stoned for no reason, not the good kind either, I did not feel myself, almost more like I felt trapped inside this other persons doings. I felt sick...

I am so tired and very much in a depressed state. In emdr today I was 7or 8, my brother was 14 or 15 and I was in bed for the night. He came in at some point and smelled of alcohol and showed me his genitals and got on top of my little body in the bed, the next thing that came up was my older...

I know I have been posting a lot in this thread, cuz I have been down more than any other emotion this week. My dad called me and needed money and cigarettes. Now if I was in control I would think I would've said no. I felt needed i suppose. It's sick. I mean my flashbacks are of him hurting me...

This weekend my mom was a trigger for me for the first time. I felt like I needed a mom and she hasn't been one to me in a very long time. I have always been more the adult. I needed an embrace that I've never truly had but somehow subconsciously know it exists. I realized that I've been seeking...

I feel scarred in despair violated stuck pounding head I need relief desperately i am suffering inside and no one knows how much i can't bring myself to tell I'm screaming behind these poker eyes just as I did as a child why cant I set that child free

Starting to shut down. I am coming to grasp being abused in someway as an infant. I really didn't want to discover this. Broke down and cried alot. I'm very saddened. Hard to cope with these thoughts that are flooding my head. Had head pain and these thoughts for sure for only four whole days...

In EMDR yesterday I came to a halt when I felt a serious pain on the one side of my head and then the other side and then all over. I've been going to EMDR for a few months and a lot of painful things have come up even physical sensations. My head however has been hurting off and on ever since...

since my emdr session yesterday I had three small panic attacks but grounding worked so I was okay I guess it was with in minutes but felt like longer to me. I have a hard time not thinking of what I uncovered yesterday which is okay cuz I know I'm working through things and have support. During...

in my session today of EMDR i uncovered some things, about being sexually assaulted, but even after it came out i still don't remember it actually happening to me. And I almost didn't remember what I said during session. I go through so many feelings it's difficult to really know or remember it...

I feel helpless tonight. Having bad dreams that I'm trying to save someone and can't get to her. I was sexually abused as a child but all I can remember from it was a flashback I had of my fathers face and feeling his fingers inside me when I was in the bath. Everything else around his face was...