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I am so mad, i just spent a long time writting a response and accidently hit the back button and cant grt it back... (on a phone... Hopefully getting my computer back today) But I just wanted to say that I have had a lot of trouble in therapy due to dissociation as well. You are not alone in...

I know a few people that would take hot showers as a way to try to cleanse themselves. They had been sexual abused. Another person with a lower body temp! I always run below average, too. I tend to like cooler showers, feels more refreshing. But it is pretty cold in the bathroom in the winter I...

I get strong urges to tell people when I start feeling closer to them. It feels weird and uncomfortable to me because I know I should'nt spill to people at work that I have just starting getting closer to. I think it also is if they are guys and are good listeners or if I see a softer side of...

I know what you mean! I can relate. Especially since I carried around coaties (coats I would rub the material on) I would have the same one for years before switching. But there were some pictures where I was carrying a blue one around and I didn't even recognize it!

That is really interesting! I know the book I was reading mentioned writting with your nondominant hand. Leah, I know you mentioned knowing what memories were from when because of location. That is how I know that one memory I have is five or earlier because I moved when I was five. It is so...

I can relate to feeling as if memories arent real. When i remembet things, they seem to hit me from out of nowhere, but the memory is there and it is clear and I know it is real. But after some time, sometimes only a few hours, when I think of it, the memory feels more distant and I wonder if it...

I was wondering what age everyone's first memories are from. As well as how much you can remember. I have started Homecoming by John Bradshaw after seeing other people mention this book. I find it very informative and interesting so far. I was reading the chapter on reclaiming your infant...

What a cutie!

Awww, that's great to hear. :) It is a great feeling knowing they are trying to comfort us or know when we are distressed!

I am sorry you are going through this. Sounds so frustrating! The others have already hit on doing what is best for you guys, staying safe, taking care of yourself, and some boundaries, so I don't really have anything to add because they explained it so well.

Congrats on the cat! That's awesome! I find my little girl a huge source of love and comfort. I remember when I went to see Isabelle for the first time and to trim her nails before bringing her home. She was upset or something after I trimmed her nails and ended up peeing on the floor (She...

I have done that.... I have also posted something and had extreme anxiety about checking back to see if anyone responded because I get into this vulnerable spot and start thinking, no one is going to understand, or they will think I am weird/messed up, or stuff like that. I have even deleted a...

I'm sorry to hear you are going through such a tough time. It sounds really scary and distressing. I am glad to hear you say you are going to a new doctor next. Especially since they knew you had a bad reaction to Seroquel, but still wants to put you back on it.

That is very true, but there is also a difference in being able to discuss what happened after both people calm down. I most definitely shut down during arguments. I know that I have had to tell someone, I need some time to calm down, then we can talk about it. And there have been times where I...

I agree with the warmth traits. I am attracted to that, too. And I do see the people that show vulnerability and emotional expressiveness as being real. I have found these traits in someone that was a best friend, but he also had a frustrated, stubborn side when we had arguments and shut down...

I am sorry about your new jerk boss. That sounds really stressful and I can see why you are having more anxiety! I also applaud you for being assertive, as well as not disclosing information you were not comfortable disclosing to him. I can relate with having bosses with high/unrealistic...

Thanks CVC :) I was having a hard time trying to explain it, so I'm glad it makes some kind of sense to you.

I was wondering if it was close to this. I was almost thinking it was relief or, I don't know how to describe it. Kind of like, even though it is myself, that my needs and fears are being recognized. The compassion makes sense because if I never really had that before, if I give it to myself...

I think I have a therapist who reads my posts.... She started talking about responsibility my last session.. *paranoid now..* She talked more about responsibility to how I want to respond to things. Like I can get upset over an angry customer or I can say things in my head to help not get mad...

I noticed that sometimes when I comfort myself by saying things in my head after I get triggered, that sometimes I start feeling like I am going to cry. I tell myself, it is okay, I am not in danger right now. Or use my therapists words, "It is out of reach. There is nothing I need to do."...

Thank you for all of the suggestions, I will try more physical stuff. It is nice to hear a reminder that this is normal. I just hate having to feel the guilty, ashamed, shame feelings. Those are super hard for me.

I just was updating my trauma diary for a memory that surfaced this past week and I realized that I may be extra sensitive to things that seem similar to what happened in the memory. Has anyone else experienced this? At least I think it is similar. I wanted to get others thoughts and what might...

I finally had a memory surface again, after what seems like forever. It was not very clear. I just know certain things. Like I could hear my dad talking about me, about something I said or did, and he didn't know why I did it. He was upset and complaining about it. He was in the hallway. I think...

No, he never mentioned anything. If he ever told mum anything, she never mentioned anything to me. I'm sorry you lost your dad, too. Especially at a young age.

Yes, all the time.