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If you feel the need to speak to someone, you're very welcome on the forum. There are great people here. Good luck in your journey, and take care.

There is maybe a subtle way to send your message... If I were you, I'd tell my mother I refuse to see my father again. Cut him out of your existence, for good. If your mother invites you and he is there, just go. If you can't reach your mother with talks yet, maybe she will start to understand...

I see... So, tell me if I understand correctly, your mother does not accept that your father has abused you... Is that correct? hat was your mother's role; did she know, or not? Because: • knowing and doing nothing = being the accomplice of a crime. That would imply she shares a part of...

@Bristol1485 I don't think you are the problem... Are the people who attacked you related to your parents in some way? Because if it is the case, then, your parents may have felt horribly betrayed. If they share blood with the abusers, they may feel disgusted about themselves. Maybe they feel...

Hi @Melodycool, and welcome to the forum. =) Experiencing traumas can definitely impact on your memory. Some people who have been abused in their childhood can suffer from dissociative disorders, which can include a partial amnesia. In order to protect yourself, your mind kind of build up a...

Bob Marley - "Three little birds" "Don't worry about a thing... Every little thing's gonna be alright".

@Bristol1485 If you feel the need to speak about that new meeting, and how you felt about it and all, do not hesitate. The forum is here. You are not alone.

@Bristol1485 Hey, How are you today?... You are not alone in this case. I have often wondered what my life would have been if I haven't been through all the violence that broke me... I think such questions are legitimate, and normal in the process of grieving the losses caused by the abuses...

What I have just experienced this week is that people in the outside may not interprete a moment of anger kicked by adrenaline rushes as we do... That could explain why there is also misunderstandings. Have you ever tried to speak (when you feel calm) with your husband and kids about her they...

@j'quel : Thank you for your sensible recommendations. I believe you are right... Your metaphora of carrying a backpack full of bricks is clever and appropriate. I sometimes feel that even when I cut back some stuff, I am still overwhelmed. That is why I don't want to adopt another pet right...

@erigby I used to see a therapist specialized in PTSD for months, and the EMDR sessions did help at that time. However, I find it hard to speak now... At the end, I felt he couldn't understand me. I've had big hopes when he told me I could be cured, and I tried hard. I did everything I was told...

@tphillips117 : Yes, I do understand what you mean, and I believe many people in the forum can relate to these moments when adrenaline rushes and fuels rage. I also feel like a fierce animal when I am on the 'fight' mode. The feelings of guilt and shame are part of PTSD. The condition makes us...

@tphillips117 You are definitely not alone... Believe me... I am actually in a sort of dark place like you right now because I cannot get the changes I need, and I wish I could give you the solutions on how to escape from this jail. All I can do is recommend you some of the stuff that helped...

@j'quel In theory, it's true I could find someone in the future... But in reality, it has been 10 years I am with no family or caring partner. I had 2 cats and they died too... I do agree with your advice (taking time for myself) and I would probably have advised it to someone who posted the...

How do you succeed to keep going on with life?... I struggle... I have not told anybody about the thoughts I have in my head... Giving up everything, and dying... All those I love are dead now, and I can't make children because of my health issues and the fact I am single. I don't have enough...

That has nothing to do with PTSD.

I agree with @turtlemoon and @Heather : learning to be enjoying being touched is a very long process, and requires you to be with someone your body and mind both trust. I have that problem too... It is one of the reasons why I am forever single. Only one man succeeded to touch me, and I...

@Mim28 Yes, you will get stronger. You will find your own way. = ) That kind of inner journey is very intimate, and very unique. It would be so much easier if there was a plan already designed, but each person has their own path to follow. There are things that are working for some whereas...

@RavenGirl I do understand what you mean... I had 2 cats before, and I loved them so much... One of the reasons why I have hesitated to adopt for such a long time is because I fear the moment I will lose them (death or being forced to be separated from them because of a landlord, in case I will...

Yes, I burnt out. Three times in the last decade. Yes, it takes a lot of time... It is a journey. It is normal to feel defeated at times, but you should not feel ashamed because you did absolutely nothing wrong, and there are so many people out there who go through similar difficult processes...

Hi Mim, I don't know you, but I don't think you've lost your abilities to cope because you are alive. There are many sorts of coping mechanisms, and if you don't recover the way you used to, you can still recover but thanks to other means. As I said in my introduction post, I have been...

@RavenGirl Thank you for your welcoming message, and your insights. I agree with you. A whole discussion could take place to describe what 'learning to live with PTSD' means, and diverses explanations might come out of that reflection since each individual is different, as you perfectly said...

Thank you for your kind message. = )

About the guilt... Many PTSD sufferers have what we call 'surviver guilt'. Feeling guilty for having survived when the others are dead, for example, or still in the Hell you have escaped. It is part of the disease.

Hi, Have you tried Prazosin? My GP made me a prescription last time. I was having similar symptoms (cold sweat, nightmares, feeling even more tired, depressed and exhausted after I woke up...). I could not test the medication though because all the pharmacies near me did not have supplies, but...