Search results

My wife fully supports me using the forum. Probably because it relieves her of having to put up with me!

Can anybody help with this?

Its first thing in the morning on Saturday and am feeling anxious worried nervous upset sad Christmas kicks off for the kids today with their school Christmas fair. They'll be excited and things will definitely get out of hand at some stage. I have to remain calm, not get cross, try to...

Thank you Lewa. I will deal with this. I just wish my wife was sticking around to support me and go forward together. I'll get over that eventually I guess but right now it feels like amputation.

I can't believe how much this site is helping. It's good to rant and moan and wail. It helps get the pain out.

That video or something similar is now required viewing for current forces. Unfortunately, in my day it wasn't. No councelling, no info, nada. If I had watched that 20 years ago I would have got help before it was too late. It explained so much that makes sense once you know it.

I am trying to find out the best way of not responding to stress in an aggressive way. Any pointers, tips, hints or techniques considered.

But I left the forces over 20 years ago!!! It's the mess that I'm dealing with now and I never knew that there were things that I needed to "re-program". These days all the guys get this as part of their wind down period in Cyprus and also when they leave. In my day we didn't get this.

My wife watched it and her reaction was "I already knew that" and "you obviously think that civilians are the lowest of the low". I'm beginning to wonder if I'm the one with the problem!!!

Wow. A breakthrough first for me (hopefully not the last but I expect many relapses). My wife said that she is still leaving and taking the kids and moving to where I won't be able to see them. I told her that in that case any friendship we have is over. After a minute to think I apologized for...

There is a video which if you haven't seen it will explain a lot about the combat PTSD. How we're almost programmed for it and whilst it's aimed at ex-forces the messages in it are powerful and help make sense of the mess we find ourselves in.

I had my assessment session with the British Association of Anger Management. I learned a few things about myself that I didn't know.

Being a male veteran and suffering I recognize some of your friends issues. Military training is all about training the flight or fight response to stress to result in fight. This gets transferred to just about every situation we're faced with. The military conditioning also trains people to...

I am not depressed. That's the most amazing thing. I am just determined to fight this. I had an assessment from Mike Fisher at the British Association of Anger Management this morning. He told me a couple of things I didn't know about myself. I have a real problem with access to empathy (hence...

Yeah, I know. I am doing this for myself. I need to for whatever happens. However, I'm also very conscious of the fact that she's also under severe stress, mainly, but not entirely caused by me but for which I get the complete blame. I'm desperately trying not to become numb as I tend to...

I am in a determined place rather than a positive place and I know that the whole pile of cards is going to cave in at some stage. I have to get through this divorce stuff. I wish my wife would just concentrate on the good times and see that I'm as much of a victim as she is but...

I have a cat who likes to pull the plug out of the bath. He also sits on the drainer next to the kitchen sink and howls until you turn the tap on because he likes to drink from running water. What a nutcase!

I have a kind heart. I wish it was in charge of my head!

In the past 9 days I have owned up to PTSD, seen my GP and told him I need help, been registered with the local mental health team, registered with Combat Stress, informed my work of my position, booked an assessment with the British Association of Anger Management and arranged for a short...

Thanks Abstract, I've suggested to her that it might help with some of the pain I caused but no. She wants out and now. However, I'm going to sort myself out of this and end up a better person for it.

Unfortunately, I can't shift her position. She wants a divorce and she wants to move away from the area. She wouldn't entertain a suggestion that we both stay in the area and I would be available for babysitting etc. and at least be an available dad. She doesn't want to try any kind of...

I have taken my anger out on my wife. With most people I can be very dismissive if they make me angry but with my wife it was different. Why did I take it out on the one person I needed most in my life. The thing is that I would apologize and consider the argument over and done with once we made...

Well, things on the home front are not going well. It's like a blitzkreig. She just wants out as fast as possible. This is going at such a pace it's almost planned. It's certainly clinical. A very old friend of ours thinks she's having a breakdown!! Joy - even more stress. However, in the...

Fargo, You've just made my day. I couldn't agree more. I phoned a friend that I've known 35 years to tell them about my PTSD. They could hardly believe it. The reaction was, what are you doing, you need to be with friends NOW. I'm going there for the weekend and the thought of spending it with...

Thanks for the encouragement Ned. Unfortunately, my wife has said that she's "tired of walking on eggshells" and can't see any other option than a divorce.