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When this sort of thing happens do you just wait for him . ...or do you move on as if he's done and this is the end of the relationship?...I'm struggling to decide this?...I don't want to go 3 weeks without hearing from my guy, and then he pops back in with just texts and no real plans to spend...

This is a supporter forum and sometimes supporters need to have a place of their own to discuss the vicarious trauma that happens to us. This is a safe place for supporters. Let's not attack supporterst or judge them. If a relationship isn't healthy, or serving you you have every right to walk...

Thanks for your thoughts...I find it interesting that you saw this as the beginning of a break up, when we've actually been broken up for a while but he has popped back a few times until I said I can't do that anymore...hence why we're now exploring compromising....today has been an alight day...

Thanks....I've long wondered if the issue is really his emotional availability. It's and because he has moments where he's amazing....but then he won't really step forward in a relationship, or if he does he then shuts down from feeling overwhelmed....the oscillating really confuses me

That is great advice....then it begs the question, what really the things I absolutely need? I don't think I've ever actually answered that question for myself.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. To clairify a bit.... We had plans to talk, so that's why I called him...he later said he spent the afternoon watching the game, but I called 2 hours beforehand so it still didn't make sense why he screened the call and didn't talk to me as we had agreed on...

Thank you!...yeah, it is rude! sometimes I forget that bad behavior is just bad behavior and PTSD isn't a hall pass!

I'm not dangling him with friendship. We spoke today and he said that he wasn't asking for just a platonic friendship but he can't pick up where we left off, and wants to try to start over from a place without the full blown relationship that I wanted....I asked him if there was a place of...

Thanks....but he hasn't returned my call from this morning so I finally just sent a text and am wondering why the silent treatment after yesterday.

I didn't go over...but I did send a text and he called me but I couldn't speak much because I was with people...but he ended up going out last night (which he doesnt do much) and I'm guessing he was drinking because he started texting me a whole lot and saying very sweet and kind things... he...

We decided to end things a few weeks back because he can't give me a relationship while he focuses on getting better...I know he won't reach out to me because he won't want to inadvertently hurt me again......but I just have this overwhelming urge to reach out to him...show up at his house to...

Yeah...I agree that I'm either all in or I'm not in....I don't know how to wait back and not be invested....I also don't think it's that healthy for me or the relationship if both people aren't at the same commitment level. It sucks.

I have a veteran in my life...well, sort of.... We dated for a while but he pulled the plug swiftly and suddenly on me a few months ago...he started reaching out again but would still be distant. Last week we finally met to talk things out. In the last couple weeks he shared with me the depths...

This was super helpful!!!!

Thank you everyone for your feedback. We are supposed to get together this Thursday night for dinner to talk in person and he had said last week that he'd wait to be in touch with me until then...but now he's reaching out and trying to warm me over...but over the weekend I did a lot of thinKing...

What kind of a boundary would you suggest....how would you all define boundaries?

Thanks everyone for reading and hopefully taking the time to offer your thoughts and ideas. I have a man in my life who I've know for many many years...about a year ago we began dating and had an amazing first six months. I knew he had been in Iraq, and he had told me he has PTSD, but it...