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NovemberStar - I totally get that. I am so in control of everything in my life. No one has a clue that I have issues. (besides my husband due to recent circumstances) but I completely understand wanting to get help so badly and then becoming absolutely TERRIFIED at the idea of being outside my...

Broward, Palm Beach, Miami- Dade :)

I am in Hollywood. Anyone still looking?

Anyone in the Tri-County Area??

Hey Doc - I know how you feel. I do the same thing. Like a third person watching me struggle with trying to wuiet the chatter. It is very tiring. Trying to live 3 different lives. The outward one, the inner one as well as the damn referee trying to find peace. Dissociation is my favorite...

I just read this again and it really struck a cord. I like to think of my self as an action person. Always needing something to do. Running 5 projects at the same time and thriving on it. I now realize that this may be part of my coping skills. Stay busy to avoid my thoughts and internal...

@zaniara You are so right. I am more than willing to take an entire month of agony and pain crying and near death from heartache than this long drawn out coping. I think it may be that the long drawn out process takes continual work on my part. I get lazy, I get tired, I get scared, I think...

Well, then welcome avboard to you, Arfie :) Thanks. So far, theis board has made me a little less alone.

As a long time sufferer - thank you for taking the time to research the ways you can help your fiance cope. Just remember that sometimes she may not be able to share/lean on you/etc. the way most people look for support. This affects every person differently. Patience. Welcome!

I could have written the same things as you, although you have explained so many things much more eloquently. I am the strong, pretty, all together girl and make the same snide comments about just "kidding". It is like living two different lives ALL of the time. The one they see and the one...

@Alaska_Fears - I feel the same as you. Maybe it is because I am almost 40 and I am still screwing up my life for things I cant remember. I have always been a problem solver. The one the fam,ily goes to when the going gets tough. Maybe that is why I feel like these blanks (minare are for...

I so understand this. This is why I am fearful to go back to therapy. I like the numbness. Due to recent events I have felt more pain than I have in a very long time and I DO NOT like feeling. I am afraid. I want to disappear and stay numb. But I suppose we can't, can we? I understand. Good...

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@dms - I am sorry they all sound like yours. I dont know about you but it seems I am always looking for something that has some serious reasoning behind it. Someone that will be the right "move" to make. The one that will make me feel normal. If only I had this, then I could, If only he were...

Thank you for your kindness.

Thank you, Hashi, for your welcome. I agree with you about feeling like a perfect case study, as well as someone having sympathy but never understanding. I feel that way about my husband now. I think he would like to understand but coming from the "perfect" ( I know nothing is perfect)...

I guess since this is the introductions page I should introduce myself or at least who I think I am. I was born into a family of alcoholics, abusers, pedophies and all around lovely people. My mother went through all types of drug/alcohol addictions while in many diffenert relationships with...