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in the dream i felt scared and then when the abuse was happening I felt safe. i'm very confused by this dream
@arfie do you think your nightmares changed because your brain felt more able to deal with things?
like for me it normally being strangers and then it now being someone I know, is it...
Dream about him
I went to room I wasn't supposed to be in
Grandad walked past the doorway and stood outside the room
I thought he didn't seem to mind so I stayed and continued looking at the books
He stood behind me, he seemed a lot taller than me, I was clearly a child
I was scared he touch me...
So how do you emotionally process if writing doesn't work?
Sometimes like right now, I get angry with myself cause I feel like what happened shouldn't matter and I shouldn't even be thinking about it
@Sideways how do you talk about it in a different way? (i can't see a therapist, having to use what i can)
just went and read bits of Guidance for using a trauma diary for exposure therapy (cbt)
but i just don't feel anything most of the time when writing, then sometimes i do get upset so how...
Explaining but not processing. I seem to often write about things and don't really feel anything so I think it's processed but then later I'll think about it and feel really upset. It's like part of my brain wants to process so I think about things and write about it but then part of my brain...
I did originally doubt them but now I don't so much because I don't feel my brain would make it up, though my vague memory is still very difficult to deal with
@Movingforward10 that specific pain hasn't happened since. I sometimes have what I'm pretty sure is period related stabbing pain in my a us but that wasn't stabbing pain and I wasn't on or about to start my period when it happened.
I don't normally get any emotional reaction to the stabbing...
recently I went upstairs and when i came downstairs and walked into the living room, i got pain in my anus, like a sudden sore feeling slightly achy i guess and i'm not sure why and then when i sat down i suddenly felt really panicky and I don't understand why i had that reaction when i have no...
When 7 year old me was on the school trip and wanted to touch and give oral sex to other boys, I had a thought that I don't want to get stuff (cum) in my mouth and I don't believe I would had these urges and thoughts unless I had experienced it directly. This still feels weird and uncomfortable...
@Freddyt @Freida I'm glad the link I found seems to have been of some use to you
I don't remember ever feeling betrayed but I'm wondering if I did feel like that but just didn't use that word and also my memory of what happened isn't clear, so I don't really know how I felt at the time.
@Friday
so how would you explain convincing
(in a more simple way please, if you respond, i got a bit lost with all the words sorrows revolutuions birds fish)
if a particular technique doesn't work for you and you've told them that, they shouldn't keep telling you to do it anyway unless it's something like exposure therapy, in which case, it likely won't seem helpful straight away and you have to stick with it though you could do it in smaller steps...
https://dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/defineBT.html
someone on another forum mentioned betrayal trauma and i didn't know what it was so i looked it up and found this definition for it. i thought it felt fitting for this thread.
I've read from a domestic abuse charity and been told by counsellors that coercion can be threats or force or being persuaded someone going on at you.
https://www.thehotline.org/resources/a-closer-look-at-sexual-coercion/#:~:text=This%20is%20often%20referred%20to,pressure%2C%20guilt%2C%20or%20shame.
I want him to get why he was wrong for going on at me to do something I'd said no to and get that I could have fallen in the shower feeling faint and really hurt myself. If you can't respect consent I don't see how you can really care about someone in general but I've also been questioning that...