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McKinzie13 Thank you so much, I am scared to hope too much right now while things are so uncertain. I guess once the punched in the gut feeling left and after a few days of talking. (We have talked more in the last 3 days than in the last 3 months I think, as he was isolating due to stressors)...

Thanks Blue... yes we had talked a lot about moving away but he insists on needing to leave alone. It progressed as we talked but he doesn't want me to wait and now thinking about it if he knows i am waiting is more stress. I am going to give what i can and pray.

Thanks all... Its just hard not to take it personally. He says he cares and that it is hurting him as much as it is hurting me. Yet he had a choice. He is choosing. I guess I have to trust and have some faith.

So my sufferer told me today that he is leaving. That the state where we live is too depressing and holds too much negativity and he has to leave. He needs to leave because he needs to get himself together. I appreciate the fact that he is self aware, this is coming after weeks of being...

The quote is great but it's like the deepest heal from the outside in so I have to keep ripping them open and they heal a little more each time but each time gets easier tto get another piece of that core out. Its too big and to many times to just rip it out all at once for me.

I had no idea the was a term for it. Wow all 10 steps. ...happy not to be livi ng with it daily but it sure helps me rralize how much I have yet to overcomr after 9 years of it.

A person is usually legally separated prior to the divorce while awaiting the final divorce decree. Depending on the timing this may not be a rebound situation at all. That said its great you want to be supportive, but I have found that my bf puts lots of info in his "vault" and shares in his...

Cufflinks thank you for sharing the video, though I understand what your wife was saying I think its different when you have experienced it than just knowing about it. Phoenix I never thought about how a question as seemingly mundane as "How was your day?" could be off putting. Thank you for...

gibs - I understand the affection without intimacy. Actually just had this discussion with my bf about this last weekend. Left me feeling like a jerk for calmly asking for an explanation. We have been together a little over a year now and when things got stressful and I guess things got real...

I had a panic attack, I felt it coming on so I tried to remove myself from the situation so that the bf's kids who I haven't known for very long wouldn't see me have a melt down. But I am ultra irritated at his attitude about it. I drove home fighting the attack and flashback, my daughter...

I do the same thing with my current bf. I never really examined why I had the need for this. I was like that for different reason with my abuser (ex-bf), I liked to be reassured he was sleeping and that I could actually safely rest and not be on alert since that was when much of the worst...

I completely can relate. I have been having a dreamless period for a few weeks as well with waking up and feeling distressed and fearful. I also upon reflection realized that I had multiple small triggering events that I was not dealing with. I believe my dreams are locked in my...

I have the same fears, the issue I have been having is that those fears didn't come to the surface until recently after 6 months, so I have to keep reminding myself that abusers are the exception not the rule in relationships and that being vulnerable and letting someone in can be a wonderful thing.

I don't know if there is a more or less appropriate way to cry. I too have confused crying episodes, like my mind is holding in something that it won't let out and then I have the primal full body crying episode which exhausts me. I have found that when I have this happen it really helps to...

I always look forward to the weekends, our lives get so busy during the week that there is little time to just be quiet together, to do laundry and let the outside world just be out there and to be in the house just us and to sleep peacefully usually for the first time in days. During the week...

I didn't sleep well last night and I am up tonight after a nightmare. I don't know or remember what kept waking me last night. I slept fine all weekend when I wasn't at home and alone. Now I come home and I can't sleep and don't feel safe. How is it I fight back in my dreams in a way I never...

I think the biggest thing for me has been identifying specific triggers (also from an armed robbery). I concentrate on my breathing and on remaining calm especially when I can't walk away from the trigger. I agree with Hashi that you have to it into smaller manageable pieces. Some days the...

Wonderful information.

jd- Thank you for sharing. This has been my biggest struggle in the past year is learning to love myself and take time for me and my needs. Thank you for this will continue to be an area I work on and the article had a very good message.

Pictures people post of guns pointing at the camera. I HATE it and the reaction it causes

Last night I felt cornered and today I am feeling the lingering effect of that. I vacillated between wanting to run and finda safe place to be alone and to stay and open up and be comforted. I did stay but today that lingering feeling of hiding is still with me. Ashamed and insecure.

I like the rabbit hole analogy...I can really relate to that. Thank you for sharing such an Insightful post

That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing

jd - thanks for the advice. I see what you mean about we each have to give our half. I believe that as time goes on we will both grow to be better at dealing with each others bad days/moments. Its just hard not always knowing a trigger until it has happened. But then he deals with the same...

Thank you Debbie I have already found reading others threads to be helpful in just regaining perspective. Thank you for the support