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Similar things have happened to me in the past& as I learned more about my self & my hyper sensitivities to people, places & things, I had to start experimenting in order to see what worked to give me relief & what did not work. Meds were no good for me. Smart phones were no good for me...

Freedom:singing:!

I am not sorry because it was a part of my life & it gave me a perspective that very few people get to have unless they get stuck in a place like Pelican Bay! I may have saved me from going through with suicide because I got to see what happens when a person tries to slash up their wrists &...

Oh yes! In fact, I even tried hypnosis to find out who was abusing me at a very young age & their faces were "unavailable" for my mind to see. But their voices & actions were vivid. I gave up trying to figure it out because most of them are old, & have died by now due to old age & poor...

Well then...I can relate to all of that, so it's nice to know I'm not the only "survivor" who knows what being "left for dead" feels like! Stay strong & enjoy the many helpful things this website has to offer!:hug:

I have never understood the disgust that most of society seems to have for cutters & self mutilators. I would rather see a happy person with scars all over their arms than a miserable unhappy person will a boatload of crappy tattoos all over them! I tried cutting when I was in my mid 40's &...

I find the dog in my life has saved me from total insanity. He is a great listener & never lies to me & always has himself ready for hugs & licks & taking over my bed when I get up to use the bathroom! He never steals the covers or the money I leave on the desk. That's enough for me at this...

I happen to adore your "word salad" & I'd like an extra order to go please! We might be related because everything you wrote could have come from my mind too! I stopped trying to figure all of it out years ago & it was like the ocean finally stopped smashing my body against the rocks &...

I like the simple fact that I have finally learned how to find beauty in the ugliest of things & that allows me to not dwell on the negative. I override it with a positive thought & go on with my day! In other words, I no longer get stuck on stupid for weeks on end!:banghead::laugh::hug:

At age 25, you are an adult. I see no reason why an adult woman should have guilt over living her life as she pleases & owning up to her mistakes. Alcoholism didn't just show up on your door. It was a 25 year process for you to get to where you are today. Work the sobriety program for YOU &...

I do it too & see nothing wrong about it. I just have never spoken about it to others because I enjoy knowing I can take myself to a place of being able to "feel" again. I have a ton of physical injuries & ailments that cause me pain 24/7 & all I take is an occasional advil on days I cannot...

If you are in a Union, then I suggest you try contacting your Union Rep ASAP. They get paid to assist you with matters like these. If not, then find an attorney & sue the crap out of these bitches for denying you your rights as well as putting your health & the health & safety of the public who...

None of us can change things we have done or seen from the past. All we can do is to accept the here & now & move on into the"tomorrow" phase of life. I finally learned how to accept each moment as it comes & not dwell on the shit from the past. Perhaps that's what your therapist was...

I did for almost 5 years, but I stopped when I woke up one morning with my finger on the trigger & the safety was off. Not worth the risk if I cannot control what my hands do in my sleeping hours.

I refuse to set foot inside of a church after the many repeated abuses they caused me & many others in the homeless community. Who would force a sick & hungry person to listen to a 2 hour sermon prior to allowing them to eat? Don't get me started. I could write a book on the injustices of well...

Color me hard hearted, but I never accept nor give apologies. I do, however, accept change... because to me this is the only way I can move on & stop repeating the past.

I just re read your question & I see I missed a few important facts. You say "they talk all day & you have no clue what they are saying". I would get a book of the world or a map & ask them where they are from. It is possible they are unable to speak English or adapt, so pointing would work...

Oh, & to answer the question fully....yes, I was also having bruises & finding myself on the floor from thrashing in my sleep & this stopped a few weeks ago when I put the memory foam topper over my mattress. So far, I have not fallen off the bed & my aching back muscles seem to have less pain too.

I also often wake up feeling as if I've just been in a bar fight! It never occurred to me that this was related to my PTSD & as Mal Content mentioned in their post, YES, I did suffer a head injury when I as beaten with a big stick in 2001. I rarely ever sleep for more than 2 hours at a time &...

I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but did you ever consider the simple fact that these "chitter chatters" are just tired of being ignored & pushed back into the eaves of your mind with meds? Have your tried other forms of communicating with them? In the stead of talking aloud to them...

I took an online personality type test & the results were almost the same as the one I took when I was in high school! This time, the test gave me more concrete answers into why I am the way I am! :joyful:

I would just print out the letter & hand it to her. Let her read it, take it back. then let her sleep on it & see if her attitude towards the situation changes in the coming weeks. If it does not go to a better place, then only you can decide if you want to stay around a person who is causing...

Does it help to know that you are in possession of "special powers"? I am thankful for my DID! Without it, I would most likely be dead or in a coma. I stopped worrying about it years ago & having DID is helpful for some of us when we have those night terror dreams & wake up in a cold sweat...

Do I miss my old self? HELL NO! But I do miss my young self on occasion. I let my hair go natural gray & stopped going out altogether for personal safety & living within my financial means. I am now officially poor & living on less than $900 a month without food stamps or food banks! I think...

Yikes! I guess it has been 20+ years since my days in a 12 step program & if I had know that I had PTSD then, I might have been able to get more "positive" stuff from those meetings. Instead, what I DID learn was how to keep pushing my limits & moving my boundaries, trying to find that...