Childhood Can't Remember When It Started

[Deleted member 40995]

I was abused sexually, emotionally and physically by a relative for a number of years starting when I was a kid. I honestly don't remember how old I was when it first started, I try to remember but I just can't; I remember the things that would happen and I remember specific incidents, but a lot of the earlier abuse is like a blur, I remember it but I don't remember when it started. At first I thought it started when I was about 9 or 10, but now I'm not sure and think it might've been earlier than that. I just feel so confused sometimes and I try not to think about it, but sometimes I can't help it. Has anyone else experienced this, being able to remember incidents but not always being able to remember exactly when they occurred?

 

[Teasel]

Definately :) Quite a few things I can't remember exactly when they happened as a kid

 

[Riot]

At first I thought it started when I was about 9 or 10, but now I'm not sure and think it might've been earlier than that.

I think a lot of us get confused. Memory is an odd thing. That being said... 9 or 10? 5 or 6? Still abuse. Don't get hung up in the details or you'll just make symptoms worse. I know, easier said than done.

 

[FireSign8]

Oh yes! In fact, I even tried hypnosis to find out who was abusing me at a very young age & their faces were "unavailable" for my mind to see. But their voices & actions were vivid. I gave up trying to figure it out because most of them are old, & have died by now due to old age & poor health. I see no reason to continue on my quest for knowledge of this kind. It is what it is & it's over & done with. I know I was NOT the cause of my abuse. It rests on the hearts & minds of those who did the abusing & those who turned a blind eye to my abuse as a child.

 

[Copper Princess]

I was abused sexually, emotionally and physically by a relative for a number of years starting when I w...

Yes...I remember some things but there are some things I just don't remember. It is frustrating to me sometimes.

 

[Hopefully]

@Rosie11, absolutely relate to this, I have really sketchy memories, there are only a couple I remember clearly and even with these I don't know how they started or how they ended, so much is missing. I can even remember the time in my mid teens that I decided I didn't want to remember any more, I decided to keep a couple of memories but I let the rest go.

I agree with the other replies, try not to get too hung up on the details, what you have is enough, frantically searching for more is most probably going to make you feel worse. Sometimes more comes with time, sometimes it doesn't, but you need to be easy and gentle with yourself. It can be incredibly frustrating but I think it is very normal for traumatic memories to operate in this way.