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    Sufferer New here, newly diagnosed, my story: on scene of husbands mva.

    I too had plenty of people who had no clue why something that happened to my husband could affect me so deeply. For me, the event destroyed my entire foundation which is why I think the experience hits so deep. The process of rebuilding takes time but it is possible - I have experienced it in...
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    Sufferer New here, newly diagnosed, my story: on scene of husbands mva.

    I am so sorry to hear about your struggle and while it is important to acknowledge your actions please be gentle and kind to yourself. We have to be forgiving to ourselves before we can ever begin to heal. While I have not had nearly the challenges you have experienced, I can so relate. For me...
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    Memories during sex

    Not sure where this post belongs but this seems like a possible fit..I am looking for any suggestion to help. I go to sleep at night with no problem. My DH does not go to bed at the same time but when he comes to bed several hours later he often wakes me (or somewhat wakes me) to have sex...
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    Silent tears that don't stop?

    Thank you! @Tornadic Thoughts You are very inspiring. I believe in taking ownership and sometimes it is hard to know what that looks like with blaming myself. So much of what you wrote resonates with me. However, I feel like I was constantly searching for answers and some peace without...
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    Silent tears that don't stop?

    I am inspired to hear that it may be possible to cry again. I really can't imagine it. I grew up in a home that was not safe to show emotion so I learned really well how to manage without that. I did seem to cry a little in my past but over the past few years - NOTHING! How did you shift things?
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    Asking about diagnosis

    I think you touched upon a super important point for me. I have known and felt as though I am broken and damaged for a really long time. Maybe my wanting my T to put a name to it goes a bit further to confirming that for me. I was rationalizing it by other ways of healing. If you think you broke...
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    Asking about diagnosis

    Agreed and I am afraid to hear it. Any suggestions on how to ask? For me waiting for my T to bring it up may not happen. I have shared so much but to ask leaves me really vulnerable.
  8. N

    Asking about diagnosis

    Thank you for your reply. It never occurred to me that information regarding a diagnosis would not be openly shared if it was considered to not be helpful. I have been thinking about this for a bit and get so crazy anxious about asking what my T thinks. This must sound dumb but I don't know how...
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    Asking about diagnosis

    Hi- I don't want to be hung up on a diagnosis and it hasn't been a focus but I am wondering about "my diagnosis". My T has dropped lots of pieces of information around PTSD, depression,anxiety, dissociation episodes but I do not know what I really classified as. I am not one for labels or so I...
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    An inability to cry.

    I seriously question if I will ever be able to cry again. I keep confronting situations that should evoke so much emotion and yet I have nothing. I used to "fake" being upset just to fit in. ( if I swallowed a certain way and left my mouth open I could make my eyes water). I would carry around...
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    An inability to cry.

    Hi - when I have looked into not being able to cry, it doesn't look all that positive. Seemingly, it can be a symptom of severe depression. I have only recently faced that I struggle with depression. I struggle because I think I should be able to wish it away. That hasn't worked for me yet.
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    Sexual Assault Promiscuity following sexual abuse/assault

    I can be included in the yes yes yes category. I was super promiscuous even though I know I hated myself for it. I would go to bars and have others buy my drinks and take me "home"... I ended up in so many places ... I know I passed out - I have hints of memories of some of it. I would have...
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    Mother's day

    I am not sure what I am thinking or feeling for Mother's Day. Even though I have 3 incredible boys-(16,11,&9)the day has never been about me. I approach each Mothers Day thinking of what I should do for my mom and then procrastinating until the last moment - sending flowers and calling her late...
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    What do you call this?

    You are not alone! There is a lot of support here and sometimes the more hurt we are the more important it is to post and connect and realize we have experienced tough stuff and we can be strong. The diagnosis is important for billing and insurance companies but our underlying experiences for...
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    What do you call this?

    Well put. I have no idea what to call it either. That was important to me but I couldn't bring myself to ask my T. I think she has shared with me her thinking. I have denied being depressed - (even though I am on an antidepressant). From time to time my T will referred to some of my behavior...
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    How to talk to a therapist about a traumatic event?

    When I have mulled something over in my mind and I think I really want to share it but can't seem to figure out how I write it out and then if It still seems important I have brought it to a session and asked that she not read it then. I can't handle her reading what I write in front of me...
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    What do you call this?

    Sounds like a familiar place for me in my past. Right now I am not experiencing that much discomfort but for me I was hardly making it through my days and drinking a beer at night.(or more) sorry to hear you are having such a challenging time- no doubt it is really hard. Are you working with a...
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    Don't know how to feel about this

    That is awesome. Maybe writing connects to a deeper part of you and while it may seem like an eternity since you have been writing, Of course you can ignite that flame. Have you heard of the book "The Writer's Way"? By Sara Maitland. I found it to be an amazing tool in developing writing and...
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    The struggle with self compassion...

    Thank you for your posts on self compassion- the concept of self compassion is one that has been suggested to me on a few questions and yet I had no idea why or how. I do hate myself so much and had no idea others struggle with this idea too -A duuuhhhh. Not trying to think I was unique but...
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    Sexual Assault Are Some People More Prone To Being Sexually Assulted

    I had so much disregard for myself and not the slightest idea how to effectively communicate that I would be out - drink too much - and end up in all sorts of places with who knows who. I knew I was horrible for allowing things to happen. I didn't remember plenty and would find myself left with...
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    Struggling With The Normalcy Of Being Triggered/flashbacks

    Hi - I can so related to this as I experience flashbacks and dissociative episodes that I didn't openly disclose to anyone (except for in therapy after 6 or so months). For me I am also extremely hard on myself, and I am a people pleaser. The reality that I experience these things brings up that...
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    Emdr - Are Daily Sessions Ok?

    Hi, So I did a few sessions of EMDR this week but have some to recognize that we broke it into pieces and it was really targeting one of my trauma experiences and two highly positive experience in my life. It definitely brought things up for me but this process is amazing. As for the frequent...
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    Because I Dissociate, Does It Mean I Have A Dissociative Disorder?

    Your experiences brought up a lot for me as some of your experiences sound familiar to me. Thank you for sharing. I have no idea where to begin regarding if you have a dissociative disorder but would that matter how you proceed? I would leave diagnosis up to the professionals if necessary and...
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    Emdr - Are Daily Sessions Ok?

    Ok - EMDR - I had no experiences with this until 3 days ago. My situation is atypical. A friend of mine is a psychologist and has been practicing for 20 + years. As circumstances unfolded over the years she learned a bit about me and some of my issues. And I have learned a lot about her...
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