Tornadic Thoughts
VIP Member
It was more like things shifted me instead of me shifting things, if that makes sense. My shift hit the fan, and then some.
I broke down under the pressure of trying to continue to carry it all inside, along with everyone else's baggage, while living through a very stressful time in my life in trying to hold my place of employment for over 13 years accountable for unethical happenings.
I'd carried it around for decades and stuffed it all neatly away just like I'd been taught, keeping myself way too busy to feel any of it, convinced I'd already handled it well enough, because look at me working f/t and then some, being a f/t step-mom, going back to school, and all that shit we're "supposed" to do and act like we like it, until my body simply couldn't take it anymore at the ripe old age of 43ish.
Then I was let down in many big ways by the medical and mental health system (not to mention the food system) and ended up being harmed more than I was helped. As if I didn't already have enough trust issues going on within that arena. I happened to also have been employed at the time within a mental/physical rehab facility.
It took (and still takes) a whole village of alternative/complementary healers and methods to bring me back to self, which up until then was uncharted territory as I'd always believed I was all those things everyone else convinced me I was, or at least my perception of what I felt they thought.
Luckily most of the practitioners barter, or I'd not have had access. Also even more luckily, my husband makes enough to support us without me having to work f/t right now, relieving me of the biggest stressor I had in my life at the time. Things like massage therapy, chiro adjustments, acupuncture, iridology, master herbalists, sound healing, reiki energy healing, breathing techniques, meditation, mindful consumption, free talk therapy and a support group at the local sexual and domestic abuse shelter, etc. are the things that help me now. I offer things in return like child care, help finishing various projects, help with house work, gardening, harvesting wild edibles, cooking, pet sitting, house sitting, shopping, donating time or goods to the shelter, etc., however I can best help.
Not necessarily a continual flow of all of the above, just as needed and/or as offered based on their availability, minus the massage therapy which is monthly, with some being a one time deal, like the iridology, and others, like breath work and mindful consumption becoming self-lead and managed, needing no external support to make it happen.
Every so often there'll be community workshops and free classes/events offered through the parks and rec, the library, the local yoga studios, individuals just wishing to pay knowledge forward and offering internships, community gardens, etc. that are healing oriented and give a chance to be exposed to various things you may not normally seek out. I found some of my most meaningful healing moments in some of the damnedest places.
