Search results

I asked fhiabin the chat but. That scrolls away. Looking for possible insight for what is up tomorrow. : I am taking MY SON to his first therapy appointment in the morning. I think he is developing an anger issue. I can’t help but to feel like a failure. A failure as a mother. A mother that...

Thank you! The mask we wear makes us who we are. But, why did I have to choose such a stron mask!? Now. Now that I am crumbling I feel the same inside yet my outer appearance and attitude is taking a toll. Survive. One more day. Then one more.

Thoughts of the end have been flying in and out of my mind all day. The feeling absolute failure hit me late last night when I woke from a horrendous nightmare. I picked myself up and hid in the other room to cry. Hiding the shame that I am feeling being a “survivor.” I do not feel as though...

I cannot thank you enough for your words. I don’t wven know what to type. Really in this situation I just became extremely emotional. The calm whisper is here. My mother told me it is just my own voice calming me. That I trained my brain that way. Ugh. Making me feel like I need to hide this. I...

:banghead: Yes and no. I told her ABOUT maybe hearing whisper. This was just yesterday. Today the whispers ran my day. I’m just like... that escalated quickly. :mad:

Okay. These whispers. They only say my name. “Alysa.” <- very soft comforting whisper) but. I am waiting for my prescriptions and started to think back on my day. Scanning the lobby. Then I was helping a young mom back her big “Alysa” truck out. She was literally running over the car next to...

I am sitting in the waiting area of CHCS. Coffee has grown chilly. Embarrassed to be sitting here in this lobby. Again. I am drowning out the sounds of coughs and throat clearing with headphones. Blasting meditation soundtracks. What ever I can do to get the anxiety controlled. However, the...

I am so scared today. A new memory has surfaced. The summer I was six years old. I cut my hair that year. They gave me hell about my short hair. “No girl I’d knowed ain’t got short hair.” This is my second summer visiting Mississippi. I worked real hard on spelling “MISSISSIPPI” that...

I know this is a VERY uplifting post. And, can be discouraging to those that are NOT here YET! I have fought for this moment of clarity. Fought and worked my ass off just to see the light. Be strong in your battle. As my son said just last week. “A bat must fall innorder to fly.”

Straight up rocking life from here out!

Thank you love! It has been a very long time. An long time coming. Healing isn’t easy but these moments are pivotal to recovery.

Thank you! It was the hardest decision of my LIFE! I smell where I need to be!

I chose to live. I made it through the night. I drove 4 hours looking for the perfect spot. Even visited “my spot” I chose to live. I turned my car around. Drove a little more. Grabbed coffee. “They remembered my name” I chose to live. Drove myself to the hospital. Fast pass to the...

I’m finding myself slipping more and more each day… Numb to the world. I am living through the second most painful experience in my life. that I have cried through the past three weeks. I have talked about. I have prayed over. I even wrote a f*cking list. I know there is beauty in pain but...

Welcome to the group! Hopefully you can find a place to be safe among us. This is a very supportive community.

Patience is the hardest part! My trauma… Wow it’s weird to call it trauma myself! Has made me who I am today. Even though I can’t remember most of it…

There Are so many elements into our emotions. I’m sorry that you are getting this and of the emotional pool. However on the outside one can be totally normal\blank or empty. While inside there is a hurricane of emotions and instability that one cannot grasp.

At what point does crisis mode end? Will I feel like this forever? Completely lost in a world full of emotions. Being drug down for a decision I made on a whim. One video 30 seconds and my entire day crumbling! Typical of me to shove myself face first into crisis mode! I can’t breathe, my...

I am terrified to even type this. The last thing I need is to be labeled insane. I have a fantasy. One that ALWAYS leads to pleasure. Death. And pleasure. No matter where I am. Where I go there. The tingling sensation completely takes over head to toe. Then the release of all pure...

I completely agree with reply’s above. Honesty is always the best policy when it comes to T visits. This is the only way they can help you properly. Good luck love!

@Zoogal I don’t know. :( For not knowing. That is my current apology. Sorry. :mad: I don’t think I’m doing this right.

I still have dreams about him. I have dreams of memories. I have dreams of the now. The dreams always hold pleasure. I want it so bad. :sick::cry: I wake up in tears every time. Shaking. Shower. And keep myself alive.

I’m sorry.

Wow. Yep. Pretty f*ckin much! My heart is jumping out of my chest. Why the f*ck? Brothers f*cking suck!

;):oops: You are strong!! Any time someone has their way and we have no control. It is scary. How are you feelin now? :) Dancer