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There's this book by Chris Crutcher "The Crazy Horse Electric Game", where the main character, a teenage baseball player, was partially paralyzed in a boating accident. His life was all about sports, and when he realized everything had changed he went into a tailspin and ended up in a youth...

If your experience is like mine you may never recover real memories. While memory of my grandfather touching me "down there" is clear, someone else also molested me too. The memories of that second person are as of yet impossible to pin down. I know who it is but have a very hard time...

I got my memory when I was 26. One part, about my grandfather, was really clear. The other part was and continues to be fuzzy. I don't see anything wrong with finding more out. Note, however, that long hidden feelings and memories don't always fit together in a logical way. Timelines get...

Me too. I don't believe PTSD is permanent, but I can't prove it yet from my experience. PTSD has made dating really hard. I get triggered then I isolate, or just am unable to interact. Right now I'm staying alone. I'm waiting until my current therapy has concluded.

People who don't have PTSD have facades to keep up too. The difference is, they don't feel bad about having them or not.

I guess it all depends on what you are looking for from your therapists. I started therapy back in 1988 and over the years my goals have changed. Out of all my therapists there was only two who were total failures (Their arrogance made them dangerously controlling). However, many of my...

I feel like I am intruding on my own life. The rational part of me knows this is bunk, but the feeling part of me has all the power. So, I don't clean my room, make my bed, brush my teeth or pay my bills like I should. I feel like taking care of myself is an intrusion, even a betrayal...

I don't really know what the anxiety is about either. It's almost like the compliment will short circuit all my defenses. If I believe a compliment I'm vulnerable.

I've been in EMDR for 8 weeks and found that consistency is necessary. Having the next appointment unscheduled would drive me wacky.

Your reaction is normal for someone with PTSD. The grounding techniques help with the symptoms. There are other things you can do to help with the underlying causes. When nothing helps, I rant. Don't be ashamed of ranting. This is a safe place to rant.

I can really relate to that voice that screams NO. That voice knew what was coming next. So, I got that voice calmed down. Now I am experiencing some of the images that it anticipated. I told my therapist how scared I am last week and she cut the sessoin short to let me regroup before I...

I knew this would happen. 3 weeks of EMDR has taken much of my power to protect myself from my flashbacks. I have all these defenses and this EMDR process just blows them like sugar grains on a picnic table. I'm really scared. My therapist knows what she is doing, but I don’t know if she...

Reassuring words are the best. Breathing exercises do to. Normal people tend not to understand it when my anxiety ratchets up. It doesn't seem to match what's really going on around me. It's really hard to go right in and fix the problem because when I am anxious my mind doesn't function...

There have been many times that I have thought I have found the cure. Today I'm no longer disappointed when I experience a set back. It happens. You are not stupid. What happened that put you where you are today is stupid. I know you didn't ask for this. It's not your fault. Glad you...

My therapist asked what I thought of her. I said that it was like watching someone on tv.

It's easy to say "all I need to do is this one thing to make it all better." There are really a thousand things to do, and writing this on the forum is only one. Relationships are complicated. I liked what @scout86 said about how he may start out as a rescuer but become something else. Thing...

Haha! That's funny. Welcome to the forum.

Yup.

Feels like I fall off a wall. When I look up from the bottom I have no idea how I am going to get back up where I started from. My therapist doesn't get the triggering either. She was really struggling to understand yesterday, but if you haven't been through it you won't get it.

Yes. I've been through my own version of all that. I like how you said it's like depression. But like you said, it's not the same thing. Welcome to the forum.

I agree with @FridayJones that feeling safe is much different that being safe. I once had a therapist in group therapy tell another client to touch my shoulder in order to demonstrate physical boundaries. When he did I jumped away as if I had been attacked. The therapist was surprised but...

Has been like that for me up to this point. It's hard to relate to people who are normal, or sometimes even those who look normal on the outside but when they open their mouths are obviously disordered on the inside.

Hope you feel better soon. I had a doctor in an emergency room a long time ago help me with SI. He asked me if I wanted to act out my ideations. I said no. He said that not acting on ideations makes all the difference, because then they don't rule my life or end it. Crazy Medicare rules.

I like that.

Parental denial made it really hard to have contact. My brothers didn't like it though. But they were in denial too. It wasn't until my mom started getting honest with what happened that I could really make time for her. My advice, if she is in denial of what she did, it to keep a distance...