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Did you ever process trauma or did you skip that entirely? Is the structure entirely made up of "fixing" one thing at a time? Do you stay with a theme for a while or just talk about whatever comes up in your journaling or throughout the week?

I'm curious.. how often do you meet with your T, is your T a trauma specialist, and are your topics of conversation in sessions meandering, depending on what is going on in your life, do you mostly process trauma/memories/symptoms, etc or is there an even mix of both?

My T isn't a trauma specialist (yet, but will be as that is the area she is persuing) and she lets me email midweek, and always responds with encouragement and/or validation. Just a few lines like, "I can only imagine what you must be feeling." Or "I'm so proud of this email," when I'm open with...

Hi @leavingsoon. Welcome! Good job talking about this. You do not need to be ashamed of anything you said. I'm very familiar with the struggle you are having, and I'm sorry you are going through it. While yes, it is very possible to repress things like this, no one here will be able to tell you...

I really identify with this- wanting to stay on one topic and get some momentum but always losing steam for so many reasons. Either I can't say what I want to, or other things come up, or I'm not in the mood that day, or I chicken out. It's like this endless dance of feeling like I'm doing it...

I have this same thing happen and often it's because of dissociation in session. I will leave and be "fine," and then get in my car and start shaking so hard my teeth chatter and it's hard to drive. Sometimes all of the thoughts and answers to her questions start spilling into my mind when in...

The Body Keeps the Score was such a validating book for me to read. We started talking about parts last week because she recommended the book Coping with Trauma Related Dissociation and in it parts are discussed in relation to DID as well as DDNOS. It has been eye opening for me to read and...

Can you guys help me understand this protector part? Where can I read more about this? From what we can tell, my issue is depersonalization, but we are only starting to explore why I'm so unable to connect...

Please do have that conversation with her. I have spoken with mine at length over the last month about how I keep feeling like I'm so bad at therapy. And she keeps reassuring me that everyone's journey is different and everyone is broken in different ways and there is no one right way to do it...

About a month ago I emailed my T a message very similar to what you wrote. I had basically had enough of going for a year and a half and not being able to connect the way I needed to. I saw someone for two years ten years ago and relayed all kinds of information and it never occurred to me I...

I absolutely want to be more engaged. It seems like distractions send the engaged part of me running back into hiding but I can't figure out why that would be.

I've been working on processing my lack of emotional engagement in the room with my T. We've gotten it down to my high level of dissociation, depersonalization specifically. And while I do not have DID, I'm starting to recognize that I have parts that are fairly distinct from each other, and...

This has been the theme of my sessions the last few times, and while I used to be proud of being stoic I'm now seeing my inability to feel is a very big barrier to the validation, empathy, and support I need. It can seem like a surface issue, but it's not. It speaks to a lot of your beliefs...

I second the book @Laurie2001 mentioned. I'm reading it with my T and dissociation is basically our only topic for now. It needs to be addressed before much else can be accomplished. Otherwise therapy can be pointless at best and retraumatizing at worst.

That's good. Sometimes crying can help ease those feelings you're having. I hope you rest well tonight.

Listen to your body. Don't fight it. It's telling you to take care of it and to take care of you. You ARE working hard. Do something that helps you feel cared for. A blanket and a movie or good book or chat with a friend? Ice cream? Journal, tea, wine... Allow the feelings and don't try to shut...

Dissociation feels safe. I spend every session outside of myself. And half of them I don't remember. But recently I hit a really rough patch and I wanted/needed, really, to get something out of the hour I was there each week and I was finding myself unable to receive any validation or help...

I hope your session goes well today. Keep us posted?

Yes, that was my dad as well. I thought I had "resolved" it. But this past week my T went over some of the memories with me and I left shaking, hard, for hours. I realized there's a lot more there than I thought that needs to be processed. It doesn't feel as scary as other trauma I had but it...

I agree with @kilted. My first impression was one of surprise with the language used by your T..very casual and sounds more like friends fighting.

I'm sorry you're hurting. Seems like it was a perfect storm. I'm sure your friend understands. And I'm sure your T wouldn't want you feeling mortified. Your emotions are valid. And music has a way of reaching places other things can't in some of us. When that happens you can't (and shouldn't...

Thanks, these are interesting things to consider. I've been seeing her for 18 months. I do see her outside of the office for a short time most weeks with usually no interaction as we have a slight dual relationship. Which we've talked about at length and doesn't seem to be a problem. She is...

So I've recently had the realization that my fear of emotions/vulnerability is making me very stuck in therapy (and in life). We decided to start working on that and last night started going over a timeline I made of experiences I've had where I've actually expressed emotion in the presence of...

This is so normal. I'm 18 months into therapy and haven't said much out loud. I give most of the information to my T in emails and then we talk around it. So much work needs to be done to feel safe and to trust your T and to address the underlying feelings that keep you quiet i.e. Shame, fear...

I am SO familiar with what you're feeling. I email mine about once a month, more recently with lots going on. But she is always telling me to email her. she very often takes several days to respond. In the beginning if I emailed and had to wait 3+ days or so for a response I questioned...