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@Shankara beautiful said. i feel it all. Alone but not alone, so much hurt, we hide inside ourselves trying desperately never to let the world see. i wish i could say something, make my words so beautiful that you could see hope and real love. i still hope, i still know i blessed even if my mind...

@Katiesue, totally understand. Thankgiving dinner didnt stay down..tmi, sorry. Sister was diagnosed with breast cancer, had to go to the dentist today, and a charity toys for tot event. My anxiety is out of control, just trying to focus on moment by moment. Hang in, remember we are a special...

Sorry you feeling so bad! Sending love and light.

Oh boy, what a good thread, i was never diagnosed with ptsd but i lost jobs because of my inability to handle stress. i kept the wall up, i had to feed my kids and keep a roof over there heads, i am really not sure how i did it other than disassociation when things got bad, switch jobs when i...

Wow, we sound like cousins from the same family. I have severe allergies and under stress i can head right to anaphylaxis. Terrified of all medical professionals because of abuse. They have tested me for autoimmune havent come up with anything yet. Fibro and Chronic Fatigue I have been diagnosed...

Good for you Muse! :) hope you feel better soon.. One day at a time..sorry i know we are all tired of hearing this;)

So what if you decide to try and microdose before therapy. Not saying i would, but i can tell you i am quite desperate. i did drugs as a teenager and stopped when i hit 18. i dont really even drink, i tried so many meds, last one was rexulti, the weight it lifted was amazing, no fog, energy, no...

Love this conversation. As a pleaser, i am totally willing to be wrong, not have the right facts if somehow it leads to peace and no debates. i dont want to go around challenging other people opinions or facts. Its not my job to educate them if they asked me my thoughts i share but i would never...

My wife is going to be listening all day and i will be at work. So my plan is work all day Have my mints and klonopin with me at work See my therapist that evening Come home and crash. What ever happens, happens, my worry will not change it. Thanks for this post

All anyone can do is do their best. Sometimes we have to deal with the consequences, but give yourself a pat on the back, you moved part of the way. Change is hard.

Great topic! My nightmares are back, coming off meds. Need to see doctors. I have been touched inappropriately by doctors multiple times, have frozen like that abused child, ignore that its happened even while my head is screaming, stop, please just stop. But i continue to answer questions act...

Let me jump in on this one. i have such a difficult time sharing. My therapist had to drag out of me that i was sexually abused. Round and round we went until finally he got me to admit. Usually i get more and more hyper before i disclose, i become super sensative and easily hurt. I do write to...

@Leisel, Totally understand and i am happy you can voice it. For years i was obligated to have the holidays, anxiety being with my family made me ill. Took years of therapy to breakaway and i still struggle with it. I am religious so Christmas was one of my favorite holidays. But i wish all the...

@Snowflake, just checking in on you. Praying and sending hugs.:hug:

Thank you for your kind words. Yes i am in weekly therapy. I am better tonight, i will have to look for options. I will check out your suggestions.

Yes, its leading to metabolic syndrome, gone up 2 sizes, high blood pressure, high bad cholesterol and i eat very little. All since going on rexulti.

Well my medication that helps keep me stable is also making me sick. My LDL is so high that i developed cholesterol spots on my eyes. i tried going off when i noticed the weight gain, but i got to the point that i decided weight be damned i can function. Its not perfect but if really makes going...

I wish i could ask my therapist, does he really believe I can get better. i have worked with him 6 yrs, 1 hospitalization so many medication changes. 2 job losses from no longer being able to handle the symptoms. I have come so far but everytime i slip, i wonder if i will make it back again. i...

@Orion, i had to laugh. i dearly love my therapist. But my respect for him and his beautiful relationship with his wife would never even allow me to have a fantasy. I would be consumed with guilt even at the thought.

@NatBird, Dont slip away, i know that feeling, letting it all just consume you until there is no you. I stand holding your hand. Sorry i cannot articulate much right now but i am sending. Blessings and hope

This is crazy!

@Snowflake you have to try and take it one. Breathe at a time. I am so sorry you are going through this. You can fight, your future is this moment, right now. Your loved one need , you need to focus on fighting the cancer and moving through that treatment. Going through EMDR at this time might...

@Shells Love Jesus Calling. I have had it a few years.

@NatBird, i wonder are you struggling with something? Did you have a flashback? For me i am convinced something happens, i have no control of it sends me into these flurry of thoughts. Too much stress at work! Yes i should die for being so weak and small, too much stress at home, yes i should...

@Snowflake, just wanted to let you know that i am thinking of you. Sending prayers and good thoughts. Hope you are doing well.