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    Relationship Input From Sufferers

    I don't know if he can give me what I need. I know he can't do what I want, which, of course, is to say it wouldn't happen again. I know that's not possible. But he really tore me apart, I need him to understand my fear, I guess. It can't be exactly like it was before, because I'm scared. I'm...
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    Relationship Input From Sufferers

    I want to be very honest with him, will it do him harm to know how badly he hurt me? We need some kind of agreement/ understanding/ something to go forward. I can't pretend the last year of avoidance didn't happen and didn't rip me apart. But obviously, I guess, I'm willing to try if we can...
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    Relationship Input From Sufferers

    Thank you. That all makes sense and does help me. I guess I just don't know how I can trust him not to leave me again. And yet, I want to help him. And I know I can't, it's not in my power. But, I love him. Thank you again. I hope you have more good days than bad, more peace than storm for as...
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    Relationship Input From Sufferers

    Thank you for telling me your experience. It sounds like some of what my ex had told me and helps me a little. And I'm sorry if I came across as harsh. Feeling as if he didn't care if I was alive or dead was my perception and hurt from my side of it. I really can't thank you enough. If you...
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    Relationship Input From Sufferers

    Trying, as always, to understand PTSD better. Read a lot of books and this forum has helped immensly. I guess I'm asking sufferers who don't mind giving me some help understanding isolation better. I understand a little why sufferers do it, but when someone with complex PTSD does it by...
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    Relationship I'm Freaking Out

    I outright asked him why he wanted to see me, he said because he missed me. I told him we would need to talk and then I would see where we were, but no promises. Writing down my conditions/ boundaries is a really good idea, I think. It's strange, I tend to be a very logic-driven person, but...
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    Relationship I'm Freaking Out

    So, some of you on here might remember me and my story and broken heart. To make a long story short- was with a sufferer for 2.5 yrs who dumped me by isolating- ignoring calls, texts, letters. No violence ever, his issues are some hyper vigilance, but mostly stress leads to emotional numbing, to...
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    General Other Supporters, How Do You Handle The Concerns Of Loved Ones?

    I'm not sure I have advise, parents are often very protective of their kids, which as it should be. And especially protecive of girls. I guess I would tell them that, for now, you want this relationship. Do they know he has PTSD? If they do, then explain how you feel about sticking it out. If...
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    Relationship Tired

    I've basically been where you are, except it was 2.5 years in when he went AWOL. It's devistating emotionally. I felt the same way, he would have been worth waiting for, but when they can't even tell you they need space, how do you give it for months? And, at least in my situation, how can you...
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    My Caseworker Doesn't Turn Up - Feel Very Let Down - Advice Please

    I would understand if it was a one-time situation or even 2 over a long period of time, but what you described is unacceptable. I would definitely call, that is not a small thing and erodes ones ability to develope trust. And,honestly, I would also see if you can move to someone else. I'm so...
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    I Adopted One

    Awww. Such a cutie!! And, I have to say, I have had incredible luck with grey kitties. My sweetie is below -->
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    So Upset, Had To Make The Hardest Decision Of My Life

    @Geordie, I'm sorry your puppy isn't doing very well. I had a cat who also had some issues with the lower discs in her vertebra fusing together She started having issues when she was about 6-7 years old. We noticed she started limping a bit. The vet actually told us she would only live another...
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    So Upset, Had To Make The Hardest Decision Of My Life

    Oh, I am so, so very sorry! Pets provide such unconditional love. My heart aches for you. I love both cats and dogs, but only have cats right now. And my cats are my family, my constant emotional support. I know how hard losing a pet is to animal lovers. Even when you are, or think you are...
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    My Hair Is Falling Out?! Any Ideas To Stop It?

    Sounds like the doc is probably right and it's stress then. Especially if you also grinding your teeth in your sleep. Since you are on prenatal vitamins, that should help it get stronger. They supposedly help hair and nails get stronger and grow. Also, I have friends who swear yoga helps them...
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    My Hair Is Falling Out?! Any Ideas To Stop It?

    I would see a dermatologist or endocrinologist if your normal doc doesn't have any ideas. Just a suggestion, I had a friend with same issue and her derm helped.
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    Relationship :( I Had To Let My Boyfriend Go

    I think sometimes it is harder to let go when you realise that a relationship cannot give you what you need. Deep down we want to believe that love is enough. It is so hard to accept that it is not. It is so hard to allow your intellect to speak louder than your emotions. At least it is for me...
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    Relationship Coming Back

    I wish I had some concrete advise, but you need to feel it out. I would recommend reading as much as you can on PTSD and you need to set your boundaries, but only you know what those should or need to be. I'd say communication is key and sufferers don't always communicate feelings or needs very...
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    Relationship Broken Heart.

    @Seaotter- I was dumped by avoidance. No break-up. He isolated and stayed away. It's been 9 months now. I did try to fight for him. It went from a really good place to gone. Although I guess I understand the PTSD elements, it still broke my heart and my trust in him. I don't see any chance for a...
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    Relationship Broken Heart.

    @Seaotter, that's very familiar. And it's so hard to do that. To recognize and accept that we, as supporters (ex in my case), are only human. We can love them the best we can, but it's so hard. The push/ pull tears at your self-esteem. Love was a trigger for my ex as well. It's hard, even when...
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    Relationship Broken Heart.

    I'm sorry for your pain. The most annoying saying ever --> give it time. <hug>
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    General Avoidance - How Long Do Your Episodes Last?

    Feels exactly like a death. A month or two hurts, but can be handled. Longer than that is pure pain. In my experience, you can only hang on so long. For me it was about 8 months before knowledge finally settled in that he was gone for good. Feels so much like a death. There is no other emotional...
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    Relationship Combat Sufferer Won't Let Me Go Or Be With Me

    The hardest part is want to help someone you love. Wanting to make him " better", but you can't. Only he can do that.
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    Relationship Combat Sufferer Won't Let Me Go Or Be With Me

    I was with a man for 2.5 years who did a lot of the push/ pull, then he just left and didn't come back. I loved him so much and I believe I was very good for him. So, one day we talked and seemed to move past a small hurdle, not even a fight. At first I was elated because it seemed to really...
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    General Avoidance - How Long Do Your Episodes Last?

    My ex-sufferer cut me out of his life 9 months ago
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