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I told my wife because I can't keep anything from her, i love her and she can always see right through it anyway. Shes so supportive. So i decided to invite her with me...I'm going to a meeting tonight to listen. I self harm, I self medicate, I over medicate, I overdose and stop short of suicide...

I feel pretty bad today for lying. It's as if my wife knows anyway. She would give me full support too but it means I have to brave enough to be honest about this and I'm sure I have a problem with it. I may say I have only done it four times this year but really it just turned May. Which really...

I promised my T today that if I wanted to take more medication than what is prescribed and or if I was taking meds I'm not prescribed to anymore, that I would tell my wife and ask her for help to get me through the moment or moments that I feel a need to. I didn't hold to that promise already...

thank you so much for your kind words and inspiration. It does feel good to have you all as support!

thanks for checking in, when I was 7 I knew it wasn't my daddy loving me anymore, I wanted to say something but I was too scared. He stunk of alcohol, no one would believe me if I tried to speak up so I left a light on. My happy place was filled with toys. I would go there when my little girl...

thank you so much Friday, my ideation is to escape and it makes sense that I would.mix up the past with the present. You said things that make me feel nice. Thank you

thanks for sharing, I'm truly sorry that happened to you and just want to say please don't ever feel that it's your fault. Hugs if you accept.

so I'm feeling sick and depressed today. Last night I tried to have sex and basically hard to say but I felt like I was raping myself. Ugh. I feel abnormal. We have a safe word and I don't have to talk about anything. I don't know why this would make start me thinking of physically hurting...

my father has had several heart attacks and honestly each time I thought it was his last time to have one but somehow he keeps making it. When my brother died, I had wished it was my father. I will say it is because of the abuse I endured from my him. I too have a hard time crying. I didn't cry...

If I understand, it sounds very real to me, thanks for sharing. It's as if we have to give in to something, pain all over again, reliving, the results that come after, will there be more, will there be something that we can't handle, that we can't ever remember, that we hurt overserves over...

it's ok I feel like I'm able to get through this and that's more than I would've been able to say earlier this year. I've been reading my journal entries and it's been hard but I am reading them out loud to myself. Thought that would help me somehow. But I stop for breaks. It's making it real...

thank you Friday, clears up my head, gonna think about it, question (S) that are important today and go from there. I appreciate this advice.

thank you Mal. You could be right. I think mourning is scary. I feel a bit numb as I did take more of m as needed script for anxiety than I am supposed to. I don't know why I did it, I didn't have any panic, only sadness but perhaps that scared me enough to think I would have panic. I think I...

I will just go to sleep and face tomorrow when it comes. It will be a brand new day.

damn it I self medicated and still don't feel any better :(

I actually thought I could through the week between sessions this time with out falling into a depressive state because it didn't happen right after therapy like it does normally. And I had an extremely tough session, and group that evening that made me finally cry some. I felt okay like I am...

http://www.braintrainuk.com/other-conditions-that-neurofeedback-supports/neurofeedback-for-ptsd/ This neurofeedback fascinates me. Currently I am doing EMDR and it has been helping plus group therapy. It's not a good.idea to do both at the same time. thanks for sharing great information:)

welcome silent one, I too am here for support. I'm in therapy and group therapy and emdr for my PTSD and I have found this site to be very helpful. You are not alone.

Mary, I believe that I was abused as an infant because of my memories and my EMDR therapy and I remember very little of my childhood. Thanks for sharing.

maybe I am just not able to trust that I can get through to the other side of this. I know I am a child of sexual abuse and that was big for me so what's next you know and do I have to go, do I want to, scary stuff.

I lost my innocence when I was 7. Though I was beaten prior to that or at least my body memories tells me so with reliving physical pain on my head. At 7 though something more happened. I used to be happy in pictures although I don't remember those moments much. I started disassociating and...

what did I want to say? I may not be ready to lay my weapons down but I'm trying to deal with flooded images and body sensations, piecing my abuse together feels like the largest puzzle to me with missing pieces.

thanks I'm hoping so. Feels like such a long journey like I have so much further to go.

yes first one tonight, been feeling roughed up on the inside but I know I feel scared of exposing my secrets.

Yes. It will help me heal. I've been through the worst already and I'm safe now. Safe to cry, safe to heal, safe to talk with you all, and accept your hugs and kind words. Thank you.