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I'm okay now. I managed to finally actually realize and recognize how much I was worrying about stuff, including the diagnosis, earlier today, but after I posted this. I hadn't actually consciously recognized I was doing an excessive amount of worrying until then. Making that realization was a...

You're absolutely right, I'm in the process of a formal evaluation, but don't know yet. I've been having major anxiety over the process, and keep thinking over all the possibilities, which is counterproductive for the reasons you mentioned. A trained eye, however, is in the process of deciding.

I'm not sure a good therapist would jump to the conclusion that you did it, and immediately start yelling at you for it without doing any kind of investigation first.

This is uncomfortable to talk about as well, mind if I take it to a PM?

I have other memories of acting inappropriately sexual as well. I'm not comfortable going into them, but it was definitely unusual. Even now it's hard for me to feel sexual boundaries emotionally, though it's merely the absence of a taboo feeling, not a compulsion to act in any inappropriate way.

Edited op to have actual questions.

My earliest memory is of a neighbor kid, a older than me, wanting me to put his penis in my mouth. I didn't want to do it, and never liked hanging out with him because he was mean and pushy, but always did because he was a friend and you were supposed to. I was four or so. I never really forgot...

I know that if someone asks me to do something, and I don't get up to do it right away, I WILL forget to do it. If I think "let me finish this thing first" it will have left my mind entirely in less than a minute. Even leaving to go do it, if I, say, grab a bowl to put in the dishwasher on the...

When I got out of the Navy, everyone assumed I had PTSD. I looked it up and quickly decided I probably did not, as I didn't relive memories of any trauma, though I really didn't understand what that meant at the time. I had started having panic attacks while in the Navy, and they never went...

When there's no before at all, no understanding of what normal is, because there was never normal at any point in your life. And so much of your potential was ripped away from you.

@illusionist tight hugs, then! :hug:

I've never used a single weighted blanket, but want to try. Don't know why it's comfy having something heavy on my chest but it is. Hope it helps, though. My memory isn't great, either.

They have weighted blankets for just this reason. I have autism, and I'll use as many blankets as the temperature allows me, because I like being under heavy blankets.

I was going to share the same link as @Simply Simon, but wanted to express sympathy as well. That sounds like it'd be really frightening, and I hope you're able to resolve whatever's causing it. :hug:

:hug: @Tornadic Thoughts I want a heart hug! And yeah, getting permission before hugging is important. I don't hug anyone, even my son, without their permission.

Me too. Which suggests it's not an organized, touring group build around that subject matter.

I think the idea is fantastic, whether it's a dedicated troupe, or a group off comedians who are sufferers, professional or amateur, that a show together.

My google fu has failed me so far, haven't been able to find an answer, and I"d love to see their work.

That sounds like something I'd love to see. What was the radio station and show you were listening to?

No problem, @Esterio. :air hug: :hug:

hugs @Junebug 's soul

@Iyllsa air hugs for you too, if you'd like them. <3

Air hugs, @lostforgottensoul! My son invented them.

Out of curiosity, for normal imaginers, would this be unusual at all? I have an entirely non-sensory imagination, but 98% of people have sensation, especially visual and aural, with their imaginations. Is hearing ringing or songs in that situation normal for most people, or would it still be...

From the gamer article: I'd be just as freaked out if I continued hearing music after it had stopped. That is not a normal phenomenon for me.