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@Nativia Ditto....Ditto Ditto Ditto.....Ditto! I'm continually amazed not only at how the average person views PTSD as "craziness"--the fault of the individual rather than the events which caused it---and who are not only unwilling to listen to any information which might inform their...

It sounds as though your bad parenting has made you a better parent--so I'd actually choose to be grateful for that, even if not how it affected you, personally, in your earlier life, at least. It's become necessary for me to learn to be grateful for pain and adversity, in order to keep from...

Congratulations!!!!!! It's so rare for someone with this sort of background, and the resultant co-dependent tendencies (as you mentioned), to either be capable of insight into it, or willing to change the destructive habits--as they're familiar, after all--much less to be able to do so with...

Welcome to the forum! I've only been a member for a short time, as well, but I've experienced real relief, just in these few days--I'd not only given up hope for such, but forgotten what it felt like. I understand completely regarding not being able to open up to a therapist--or general-in...

@Valerie Glasco Wow...have you been reading my diary? That's nothing less than eerie...you're describing me and my tendencies to a tee. As well as "where I am" right now. So don't feel alone, is the point. Reading you posts had made me feel much less alone--so know there's at least one other...

I'm very proud of you, for what it's worth. It's not easy, at all, to deal with such manipulation and abuse, and remain strong-expecially after having been through what you have. And you are clearly doing just that. So glad you've found somewhere like this for support and resonance! Be well...

"You know, I think you like feeling bad". Do you know how often I've heard that? I've lost count. How could anything be more insulting? Of course, there are some things that are, but this ranks pretty high--being told you're "wallowing", in other words...the same statement of "you just need to...

I think that's normal for a lot of us. It's good you recognize it, though. That means there's hope of moving out of it--better than if you weren't aware of it at all, as I know I wasn't, for most of my life.

I agree with Solara--anyone who tells you that all medications are dangerous is usually dangerous, themselves, in my experience. ...by virtue of the fact that making such a blanket statement is a pretty big sign of irresponsibility. It makes me wonder if the therapist is against ALL...

I think you've gotten some great advice here--foremost being that you need to be certain that you are safe, and consider yourself and your feelings first, rather than those if this individual. I don't think there's much question that you're with an abuser, and being abused, from my perspective...

I think it would be counterproductive to engage at this point. In referring to "Administration", rather than using names, in my personal posts of thanks to others profile, I was attempting to avoid conflict, not cause it--by avoiding any appearance of "making anything personal". To be accused...

I understand your feelings completely-as I've been through the same. However, my attempts at suicide were more a matter of intentionally placing myself in positions where I'd likely be killed. Over and over. My meds, I abused--in order to achieve oblivion--freedom from pain, or for that...

The fact that you've sought out others with PTSD to help you understand and help your boyfriend is a wonderful sign--it's good to know that there are people like you who are willing not only to be patient with the symptoms of PTSD, but want to help enough to investigate, rather than simply...

@rightkindofme I must have misstated myself. That is not really what I meant at all. I only meant that I can't relate to the average American at all, or them to me, due to my cultural background. It's common to seek out others for therapy who have the same cultural frame of reference, after...

@Brucielucy I appreciate your point, regarding the importance of therapy, and its ability to make a difference even in such a fundamental fear. But did you start your therapy with a dog as your therapist? You see my point. All I'm saying is that I need something other than an American as a...

@cherryblossom I understand completely. You're right, of course-this forum is specific to sexual abuse, obviously, not "problems in acculturation". I'd already feared that I'd gone on too long in that vein, but in my previous responses, was attempting to clarify by addressing specific...

Welcome to the forum. I, too, was severely bullied throughout school. It's very possible for bullying to result in PTSD. I'm glad you've scheduled an appointment with a professional who can evaluate your history and symptoms and provide a diagnosis. All the better to confirm your need for...

Welcome to the forum, darklord. You've taken a great first step!

@Brucielucy--@cherryblossom--@rightkindofme Thank you all dearly for your kind words of support. Your sincere concern in itself makes me feel less alone. I've experienced more receptiveness and kindness on this forum than I have in a very long time, and the effect is profound, already...

@Brucielucy Thank you so much for your reply-your obvious diligence in addressing posts in detail provides the reassurance of sincerity that only such a devotion of time and effort can guarantee. Yes, exactly. I realize that's it's much more common than not for those with a history of trauma...

At least you're talking! And more importantly, it sounds like she was not only speaking civilly for a change, but with enough respect for you to admit wrongdoing, apparently. That's pretty big. And if she was interested in being there, well that's huge good start! So glad you ordered the book...

I've honestly forgotten the experience of kindness and acceptance, it's been so long. "I'm just wondering what's going on for you now? How's things? Do you see a therapist? Work? Life? Love? Family? - - Lots of questions, which you don't have to answer. We just look forward to hearing more from...

This from "Trauma and Recovery", by Judith Herman Reconstructing the trauma story also includes a systematic review of the meaning of the event, both to the patient and to the important people in her life. the traumatic event challenges an ordinary person to become a theologian, a philosopher...

Please keep me posted-the book will be a great reassurance to you, I believe, even if she doesn't accept it. Be well

Hi Melissa. So glad you're getting help! It's such a hard step-I know. I was stuck in the "I don't want to dredge it up", "it's silly to feel this way" cycle for 20 years, so if you want to know how people can feel that way for long periods, just ask me, I know. You "smartened up" a lot quicker...