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When they can prove that they will show up reliably, listen actively, not marginalize your needs, and so on, well, then it still takes time. It is hard to be patient sometimes but it is a slow, gradual process, moreso than with anyone else because there's so much at stake.

Nothing sucks me in like YouTube.

I always find it harder to say no to people who are kind to me, as though I owe them a debt of gratitude. You have already said no, so congrats for that! I assume it went ok and you're still friends? The more it happens, the more you realize that people will still care even when you have to put...

The very first time I was there, I was dissociating and triggered by him going in and out below us. Then she made a big show of not wanting him to come in either. Now the story has changed. I feel safe, when in an adult mind, I know no one is going to hurt me. It is more upsetting that the...

So she reaponded via email that the guy "only goes in and out of the garage to get and replace tools" and she claims she has tested to ensure we cannot be heard. And also put a lot of it on me as being overly sensitive to stimuli trauma survivor, etc. No responsibility taken on her side.

Thanks. The free range of the garage needs fixed in order for me to feel comfortable. And communication is a big issue; if she offers to make an effort to keep the guy away, then does, then doesn't, then doesnt explain the change. I feel as though I shouldnt need to repeatedly insist upon...

I think it is typical, as much of it is mundane. How many memories can we have of playing with dolls and so on. Remembering milestones, maybe easier. Gaps due to traumatic repression are definitely different. I uncovered several forgotten traumas recently which has been extremely difficult to...

Unfortunately, Im what they call a slow processor and never react that quickly to call her on it @barefoot. And Im fairly certain that I made such a big stink about it previously that she hasnt forgotten. I kind of resent the fact that my needs are forgotten or dismissed. But if I need to keep...

Thank you. It's reassuring to know that I am not being unreasonable.

I think the fact that we have already gone back and forth on this and she assured me she didnt want him there either, and now he is, is a clear boundary crossing. I guess Ill kick up the dust because as mentioned, this is about me getting my needs met - feelings of safety and privacy.

So true, @Justmehere I think she has an emotional attachment to her newly built space, is quite pleased and proud of it, and loses sight of objectivity. I was so distressed the first time I went in and heard doors below, that I didnt go back for a month. She is not.good at personal confrontation...

heck no! not upset - thank you for your concern. :-)

I would appreciate some feedback as to whether I am being unreasonable. My T moved her office to above her garage in June. My first session in the new space, I was really triggered by the strangeness and dissociated which was exacerbated by hearing her spouse go in and out of a door into the...

Kind of agree with @Zoogal..a big bag of money from nowhere could be fear inducing. If you feel you can afford it, renegotiate your fee and pay the difference from the insurance co.

^^^^^^ What she said!!!

Thank you for sharing your story. It is so familiar to mine and many others here. You are welcome and I wish you positive healing energy as you continue your journey. You are obviously very strong, as you've made it through the worst times ever and can see and learn from the pain.

Sadly, the fact that you tolerated this in the past gives him permission to continue the behavior. I can never be comfortable with a sneak. I have had enough of unhealthy relationships after surviving the hell I grew up in. If I were in your shoes, I would thrive on knowing I was in a loving...

I know grounding exercises. Putting the brakes on at the onset? Not so much! I will keep on keeping on because it's the only way through! The break has been good.

It helps when we start discussing my travels or the weather etc and I come bacj around. I want to work with the parts, not let them hijack me Is that possible?

See, this is deep and murky with all of the therapeutic parts approaches so I dont know that I want to worry about labels. I do know the loss of speech is directly tied to young trauma and how I reacted then, for what it's worth and the feeling is familiar. Thanks, @Gia1019 I have about five...

For almost a year, Ive been writing to parts as an approach to healing in therapy. I dont know if it's DID, Internal Family Systems or Inner Child.work, and I am not that concerned about that. A.couple of things are going on, though. 1. Writing has revealed a lot of forgotten abuse. I didn't...

Yes, if I am concerned that I can be heard and things wont be confidential. Only when I am feeling "little" do noises bother me that I cannot know what they are - landscaper or perpetrator. Of course I know I am safe but something gets triggered sometimes.

@Muttly thank you. maybe some day we'll all be accepted for who we are, eh? Slowly accepting that hope will prevail - hope for 1 term and reparable damages.

I feel resentful that I would even need to spend my hard earned therapy $$ on this topic...

Are you open to couples counseling? Are you able to express your feelings about how you would like to see your relationship improve? Are your needs getting met? Can you talk about those things? Agree she may have abandonment issues and may be manipulative as well. No marriage is perfect but we...