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Thanks for your response and really nice words. I do try and be as open as possible with him, it's just getting the words out sometimes. I think why I want touch from him so badly is because I never had it from anyone, but if he rejected me after pouring my heart out it'd kill me. I don't know I...

Thanks for the reply, it's one of the most caring things anyone has ever said to me, it made me well up. In a nice way. Next week I'll tell him that, I just get scared he'll see the horrible things because I've told him about them (I know it's silly) please don't be sad for me, you'll make me...

I have seen my psychodynamic therapist for 6 months now, we've spoken about my past (gang raped and tortured at 11, amongst other stuff) briefly, but I honestly don't know how to bring it up again because it's so disgusting to me. I normally hate people being close to me but when I talk about...

Thanks for your reply, I don't know, I feel like I'd just need loads of support from him to face him, like if I was facing him and got as upset as I have done previously, I'd want him to hug me and I know that puts us both in a difficult situation, because if he rejected me I'd probably never...

Thanks for your reply. It's just so nerve wrecking to let someone see me when I'm in such a state, I just sometimes think I think about him too much, but I don't know

Thanks for your reply. I've never thought about it like that. I couldn't not wear makeup, it isn't a choice for me, I can't leave my house without it, I just get scared he'll see all the horrible stuff I see when it runs off.

I went to therapy today and had my 6 month review, it was okay, I had to fill in some questionnaires and stuff that he's going to compare with ones I did when he first met me, so he knows what we need to work on, which is fine. But he brought up a few things though that I don't know how to feel...

Thank you, I just didn't want to barge in with my rant and upset people :laugh: I'm glad I've found somewhere I can put my feelings down for once :) take care of yourself :hug::)

Thank you for your nice words, I'm sort of overwhelmed that people actually responded, it was a stressful day, take care of yourself

Thanks for the reassurance, it means a lot, i just get so embarrassed about this sort of stuff I don't know why, Take care of yourself

Hi killa, Thank you for being so supportive, With my boyfriend I told him I was raped when we first got together because I was too scared to get close to him, but it was only a few months ago I got really angry about a news story about a gang rape and murder and he was like you don't know what...

I don't really know what to write so this will probably be really disjointed. I have therapy tomorrow and I'm scared as per usual, I feel like he's going to judge me. He doesn't but it just how I feel. I have had two therapist before him and he is the best by a long mile. I was almost forced at...

I'd personally leave a voicemail because you can keep redoing it if you need to, I'd definitely also explain your reasoning that it's obviously not personal it's just other circumstances making it hard. He'll understand anyway it's he's job to, also there isn't any point in going if that...

hiya everyone, I am dying inside. I struggle every single day. I go to psychodynamic therapy every week. I have a boyfriend of 4 years, who doesn't know about how I'm on the edge everyday of my life, he just tells me I'm ruining his day, I had something really horrendous happen to me 10 years...