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Thank you both for your responses. I appreciate what you are saying about what is to be gained by a managed care environment, which is why I want to go. I know I need the skills desperately and I need a place where I can get them and deal with some issues without having to address anything...

Hi guys, I really need help on this. I feel my symptoms are just too out of control and am very despairing about getting better despite doing lots and lots of work. So I'm considering a planned hospitalization at Sheppard Pratt. I'm not even sure if they'll take me because it seems like you...

one more thing, I have an 11-year-old and I'm really worried about her experience of me being away so I'm hoping I can coordinate it with her being at sleep away camp for 2 weeks. I'm afraid to stay much longer than that because of how it will impact her. Hoping that's enough time. They said...

This is a year after the last post. I am thinking of going to Sheppard Pratt and am very anxious about it. just started filling out the application I have complex PTSD with I guess some dissociative symptoms and minor cutting episodes only recently. I feel the program seems excellent and I...

Here's a great article that addresses a lot about PTSD including the self-loathing it causes. Look up Pete Walker. He has lots of articles and one is called Emotional Neglect and PTSD.I really recommend it. I totally know what you mean. He feels the biggest contributor to self-criticism and...

I'm really sorry to hear about everything you are going through. Its really strong of you to give your meds to your doctor. I can really identify with all your feelings and struggles. As others have said. Know you are not alone and that we all get it!! Do you have a therapist you can see...

She is obligated to find a good referral for you. Someone who is truly knowledgeable about trauma and is able to work with someone who self-harms. I'm not sure what state you are in but in most they are responsible to give you at least one referral if not three. But you should definitely talk...

I think if you don't feel ready than it is wrong to pressure you to stop. And if you are sending her so many emails it is even more indication that you maybe need to continue.

I get frozen with anxiety and it is horrible. Medication has helped a lot. Go to a good psychiatrist because there are a lot of different options.

Yes it is inappropriate. Completely. I would say that is definitely sexual abuse. She was not asking you to breast feed.She was asking you to suck on her breasts. The fact that you wanted her to grope you, later or at another time speaks to the sexualized relationship. This has nothing to...

your feelings make so much sense. Your experiences were horrible and its understandable that a part of you wants to confront your abusers. As an aside curling up on the couch, I do it all the time. I also get into small places in my therapists office. She'll sit close to me. I cry all the...

A. between 6 and 7 - but getting out of control isn't the risk - becoming totally frozen B. 0 C.10

Hi Gist. Don't know you but that is really great to hear. Such a positive step to take! You go girl! (I love that phrase)

I don't know you, but you have every right to feel really proud. That's great to here and very encouraging.

I sometimes see a back up therapist because depending on what is going on it may be too hard to go without it. Most therapists should have back up therapists. There's no shame in it. And there's no right way to cope with the distance.

i replied before seeing the post where she responded to your request. I'm really glad to hear that.

I totally support what you just said. The other post did sound judgmental and that's not OK. It takes a lot of courage to say something and sometimes does take years. I think your complaint is completely legitimate. I have a hard time when my therapist takes vacations and she only takes them...

Not everyone say the past is the past when they have nightmares that are basically flashbacks. That's horrible to go through. I don't know if its OK saying this on the site, but medication has been approved specifically for ptsd nightmares and flashbacks. Its called Prazosin and I've taken it...

Just a quick correction - in my imagination - she is taking me to her home when I was a child. Although I suppose I'm taking her home with me now too inside :) Took awhile just to be able to feel that. I use to constantly text her and ask if she hated me, etc. Just needed constant...

I personally am not in a place where I can reassure my inner child and it makes me crazy when people ask me too. Because when I'm feeling like things are dangerous - emotional flashback what ever it is, I am that child and any denial of my experience feels horrible. I need validation and...

Little kids do masturbate, even some babies and kids touch each other. However, it would never occur to a little kid, girl or boy to insert something in their private parts unless an older person did it to them or they saw someone do it to someone else. Also they wouldn't hurt themselves...

I'm relieved you posted this watundah. I completely regress in sessions. I sometimes can't talk. I curl up between her couch and her bookshelves. I've been under her desk. I go to different ages at different times. Eye contact can be hard too and she says that is typical for people who...

That is horrible. I'm glad you t is good. Maybe, you should tell your boyfriend you need him to ask. Sometimes they don't know what todo. If that's the case, maybe he'll be able to respond to what you need if you tell him. I'm sorry this happened to you!!

I did want to add to your comment about shame. I definitely feel that a lot. More than I was aware of in the past. Shame especially about how the past has effected me and makes me feel different. And I'm ashamed that I was so triggered in group. This is process is so tough. But I...

Yes, after years of doing this, I am able to say what I feel and need. And she's good at hearing me. She's also good at pointing out that I haven't lost her if at times we don't agree. So she's good. But its still hard.