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My question was what I asked in the original post. The rest of the stuff that came out was conversational answering questions. Yes he's been acting the same for years. I'm not asking why he's acting the way he is, right now. I know the reason for that. I never asked about that. I asked if...

All along. Push pull. When we get close, he pulls away. Comes back, pulls away. Says he's scared of getting hurt. Then tells me he doesn't think I will. But still the hot/cold confusing yo-yo. What I don't get is why he does when everything starts going good, why he does. I know why he's...

My post was asking if he can see I care. Not why is he pulling away. That part I know. I know why he's pulling away. It's obvious. It wasn't even what I asked about. It just kinda flowed when discussing our relationship more.

That's not what my post was about. It was if they can tell you care. It transitioned into another subject. This wasn't about what he's doing now. It's about if he can tell in general that I care.

I'm already there emotionally. I love the guy. Damn sure can't tell him. I think he would really clam up. He's talking again. So that's good. I just want him to trust me. My friend who knows small details thinks he loves me, too. But won't let himself actually do it. And keeps fighting it.

Yeah. I thought that was textbook symptomatology. And he's definitely isolating. But he did just bury a friend two weeks ago. Drunk driver hit him.

Same here. I'm confused. Bad behavior or PTSD? One person says it's symptomatic one says no.

I've talked to him about this. He said this is just him. He doesn't need to talk every day. Which we normally do. He said it wasn't me. Bc he was being distant. We talked about him ignoring me in the past and he said he wasn't. I don't even know if he realizes how long we're going without talking.

Responses like this make me cry. I can feel the pain in them. And it makes me feel so helpless. I just want to help him feel better, and it sounds like even that makes things hard.

That's what this is. Come here, go away. And I have no idea how to respond. I haven't talked to him in a week. I've sent one text with no response. I know he's had a lot going on. Probably too much for someone without ptsd to handle well. And he told me he was doing bad about the weeks ago...

Just trying to stay in their life. Check on them when they know something bad happened. Offer assistance if needed. Not push for it. But just say "let me know if you need anything" It's someone you're too scared, by your own words to get in a relationship with. Saying you're not ready. You're...

So do I need to back off to stop the pushing away? I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I want to earn trust, but the more I show I care, the more distant he gets.

Can you see when someone cares? Can you see if they're trying to be there and supportive. I know that doesn't mean you'll act on anything. But are you aware of it? And how does it make you feel?

He's not getting help. And he had had some recent major events. Deaths in his department. I'm just sick of begging for his attention. And him refusing. That's why I'm trying to give him space. But I don't know if that's the right way with ptsd or not.

The last contact we had was me asking to see him and him telling me he's too busy to make time for me. I take that as him ending it. But I could be wrong.

Yeah. I've recently (past few days) decided I can't do this anymore. I haven't even tried to contact him. Not has he me. If he does I'm going to tell him I'm done. If he doesn't, then it's obvious.

This isn't the world. This is a psychology class. This instructor actually has knowledge of what this type of question can do to people. This isn't the general public who doesn't know better.

I agree that's a poor decision by the teacher. They don't know what traumas people have been though. Going back to therapy is a good idea. All those feelings were brought back up. And coming from a paramedic, there's nothing you could've done to change what happened. Don't blame yourself.

I don't think you have to push for one for them to think that. I'm not pushing for one either but that's all I hear. I'm not ready. You're pushing for something I'm not ready for. I have not asked for one. I've told him I'm not ready either. And he still says that.

I probably put up with more than I should. I know he's in a bad way right now, so I'm trying to battles where it's not when he's bad. Just seems like he's bad more often than good.

My friend said that to me tonight. That I need to figure out, if I'm being patient and persistent, or enabling his behavior towards me. People who don't understand PTSD tell me that they would've already left. I really don't know. How can I tell? I don't let him get away with everything. I do...

Sounds similar to my situation. Intimacy can really shake a sufferer up. Mine pulls away any type of intimacy. Not just sex. Hell he doesn't even want to do that anymore. That 20 steps ahead is like him, too. He kept on about not being ready for a relationship, when all I asked was to see him.

And losing someone isn't always death. A breakup is a loss. I wasn't thinking about that either. Justmehere was very helpful. That paragraph hit all my points

Ok. He started out coming on so strong. Then just stopped. I said something about that and he said he can only fake it for so long. He is a combat vet. He's seen a lot of death. He came back a different person from what I've been told. I didn't know him before. He also keeps talking about the...

I've said that before. One step forward two steps back. He's so hot and cold. Hell we've been intimate one time. And he said he can't do it again. So it's not like that's why he keeps coming back around. There's obviously something there. He just absolutely refuses to let me get close. But...