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Thank you Ryn, and I'm really sorry if I triggered you. That last sentence meant to say getting ready to talk to the psychology assessor, not GP cause I've already told her a bit. I don't want to tell any details though...not yet anyway. Maybe once I start working with my real therapist I...

I'm glad Christmas is over now, because although it's beautiful time with all the lights and decorations, family and friends and holiday it can get a bit overwhelming. And I usually start worrying about people drinking and struggling with eating, and that's awkward when people have made an...

Not really... It says the appointment would be up to 90mins long. Why would it take that long, I don't have to tell her everything,do I?! <3: Muru

Bluebird *giving you a safe hug, stroking your hair and holding your warm, caring hands* * Picking up the little bluebird safely, and putting her on a sand pit* *Sitting on the edge of the sandpit watching her play* Let me tell you a story of a little baby elephant, while you play with the sand...

Thank you Splinter and Bluebird for the helpful tips. I got the appointment letter today... The assessment is on 11th February. I think I'll call my good friend tomorrow and ask if she could come with me. <3: Muru

So, when I got home last night the dreaded letter was waiting for me... The assessment is on 11th Feb. I got to stop worrying somehow as it's two weeks to go still!! But I haven't been able to go to sleep at all tonight :( I got some sleeping pills from my GP. He said they should relax me and...

Thank you everyone for the encouragement with getting referred to therapy. I know I should try and start therapy soon before I go completely crazy. Only every time I think of being trapped in a therapy room with a stranger I get really scared. I remember mum leaving me in this big room with a...

Thank you so much Lucy for staying with me for every step of the way. I haven't got the letter yet... Maybe early next week then. I think in a way I am glad about the wait, it allows me time to work up the courage to finally start talking/working on things when a place comes available to me...

Oh Bluebird, you are so good at making me feel better when I read your messages that are full of compassion, caring and encouragement. I hope I could remember what you said in your messages for a bit longer than a minute after I've read them, then I could start believing all the lovely things...

Lucy, thank you for sharing your experience and for the positive attitude that I would do well....if I dared to "jump"... And I'll try and hold on to the image of all you lovely people surrounding me in a protective circle, that's a nice thought :) And that if I want to call and cancel the...

That's also a good idea Mel, and thank you for staying with me *drawing comfort from your hug* I got some sleeping pills today, and will try them tonight. My GP said they should relax me and help me fall asleep but he couldn't give me anything that would take the nightmares away. Mabe these...

Bluebird *drawing comfort from your kindness and compassion* just the fact that you let me know that you've got time to read what I write...that you care makes me feel better..honestly! I've got quite a few bad places that my head goes off to..different flashbacks. I have recently felt that I'd...

It's been stormy today... This year has been really bad with thunder storms. They must stop soon, it's the middle of winter! I'm really, really scared of thunder. The nightmares/flashbacks about the baddie uncle are scary and intense, but thunder makes my body hurt too, and it's not just in my...

Thank you Lucy, thanks for believing in me getting better, it gives me hope :) Maybe I could get someone come with me to the assessment...so I wouldn't feel so alone doing it. I'll think about who that could be. I understand what you guys say about it having to hurt a bit before the wounds...

Bluebird *safe, comfort hug* thank you for being so patient with me *deep sigh* it's so good to know you guys here genuinely care what I write. I made another appt with my GP for Monday so I can ask about sleeping pills... I wonder whether there are any that could stop the nightmares...

The nightmares are back again. I wonder if the GP could give me some sleeping pills because I'm getting scared to go to sleep at all? When I wake up from the nightmare I am completely lost from here and now. I'm back in the bad place, being hurt. ******************** The baddie uncle has come to...

Bluebird.. I'm sorry I don't have answers to that one, but just wanted to let you know I'm listening, and feeling for you cause it must be really confusing for you at the moment *hug* I relate to the first part of your message. I'm NEVER angry... I don't remember ever being properly angry at...

Thank you Splinter for explaining about the next step. I had a look at the website and there is lots of information about options..it's a bit overwhelming really. And Lucy, it was really hard to talk to her.. But it helped that I had written down the key things of what had happened to me, so I...

How do I know something really bad wont happen next cause I've told? The baddie said something REALLY BAD will happen if I ever told :( The GP said she'll refer me to some assessment with a psychologist... That might mean telling some more and to somebody who won't be my therapist either but...

Thank you Bluebird *Hug* and Cherryblossom, I will try and trust that people will take care when reading these sad and horrible stories, and thanks for your encouragement also. In England I think you got to be referred to therapy through national health. I don't think I can afford private...

Thank you for listening to all you lovely people *hug*. I think, if I dare to share my story here, maybe I can print it out and be brave enough to go to therapy and show it there... I guess I need to make an appointment with my GP first... And that probably means having to tell her a little bit...

That's good to hear Bluebird, I'm glad to hear he is so caring :) Take care of yourself until then. <3: Muru

Oh Bluebird *tentatively reaching out to hold your hand* I am do sorry this happened to you! It was very wrong of him to do this to you, and sad that no-one noticed / you didn't have the voice. Well done for sharing, and look after yourself now, as I get really shaky after I share a memory, even...

Thank you so much Bluebird, your encouragement and belief that it'll get easier helps a lot! Safe hug to you! <3: Muru

I want these bad memories out of my head... Will they go away if I write them out? I read from a magazine that it had helped some people who struggled with flashbacks. I guess my descriptions are vivid as they feel like they're happening now when I remember it. How is it possible to remember so...