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Hmm fair point. I was referring to other peoples comments and suggestions though and he was looking for help when he opened the thread so. Slightly awkward though ha. Not to mention I still don't display affection well, and this is the first time in my life I've discussed my personal life...

yeah we are married @Junebug. Sorry for the confusion. Currently separated and trying to work back toward being able to live together slowly. Sorry for turning this into a marriage counselling side show all!! Haha

Y Yep, we are in too much of a hurry.

Precisely @Justmehere he struggles with anyone seeing his vulnerability and becomes defensive and angry whenever I touch on it. His angry isn't like angry I've known before him so its not usually a big deal for me, but the issue thats caused the trust issues (his past and drug problems really...

I've been here roughly two months now and this is the second time I've noted a stiffer air. (maybe its actually me, I'm more hypersensitive once a month? Aha)

Love is real. Its just not like in the movies, all fluff and stars in the eyes and diamonds. Its actually bloody hard work 90% of the time because love is selfless and face it, humans are inherently selfish.

There also seems to be a monthly cycle around here where the vibe/mood changes to an overly critical, bitchy one for a few days. Dont know if its a moon phase, or if everyone naturally bounces off one particular persons vibe, or if all the women's pms has synced ahahah The guys could...

Ohh much more sane person idea haha. (I was thinking 'bugger the idea of someone going through my phone when I'm not around! Slightly paranoid about my personal space I am huh)

@Houdini I'm so very sorry you have to identify with this thread, hugs to you xxxx The good news is that 7.5 weeks on from this post and I'm in a little better place. I've seen what we have done to ourselves referred to here as re traumatising. Its like we repeat the patterns of our abuse...

I do not understand this rule. What are the reasons? I'm guessing you dont feel safe enough with these people to explain your position and request an exemption from the rule. I personally would not concede to it at all. Buy a cheap second phone, and leave that downstairs with everyone...

When my Mother and I talked about my experiences with my father, her response was to book me in for hypnosis. Buggered if I know what she thought it would achieve, my father had pled guilty and been sentenced for my abuse by that stage and while I dont know exactly what he had told her, I do...

Well I can definitely identify with the feeling of needing to be right all the time at different points in my life. Not sure why it was so important to me, but have speculated at times that it is an adolescent type behaviour. After watching my daughter go through such periods during puberty...

Ha! When I first got here I struggled with the term 'sufferer' also. My social worker had spent almost a decade trying to change my victim mentality by imposing the word 'survivor' on me anytime she saw me victimising myself and I somehow viewed sufferer in a similar light to victim. Coming...

Oops! Apologies for the reaction to bold font that was explained as a mistake @ glass half full. I must have started skimming at that point (due to my own (over)reaction) and missed that point Sorry

Looking a little like the supporter became the sufferer and vise versa here. Why take issue with someone for sharing their experience? And then attack them again for trying to empathise with yours? Thats what I saw in this thread, and it reeks of the typical hypersensitivity that causes most...

You're one of my favourite posters @Mal Content. If I see a notification with your name I KNOW that what ill read will be uplifting and/soothing. You get the tone around here after a while and to know the way different people support. Some practical, others nurturing, and those who are blunt...

Hahah! We have to do this with my sister every single time we go out for dinner. If we booked for 7, we tell her 6. Sometimes we STILL arrive before her

Oh my god, I thought this was part of my own emotional retardation and not an actual thing!!! My anxiety/excitement begins as butterflies or a knot in my stomach. I always need to stop and assess (especially if I'm trying to knock an attack at first sign) I'll be like 'is there something I'm...

Maybe get your girlfriend to read this before making any choices about individual or couple therapy. I think you will find she will agree that you'll need time alone with a therapist to work on it. She may even choose to hold your hand through the hard part (telling all this to a therapist)...

What an insensitive ass, and doubly so since he witnessed your suffering first hand directly after. You deserve better than this P.O.S

You made me teary reading this at work today, thank you xxxx I arranged a referal back to a psychiatrist at the onset of quitting drinking, I actually had almost 8 years under a psych in my late teens and early 20's, treatment isn't new to me, but things sure have changed since the 90's (yes...

Because I never wanted him to leave. It was the first time in mine and the kids lives that we had been cared for and nurtured RIGHT. He is everything good you can imagine in a man and then some. I went from door mat to princess over night. And he would do anything for the kids. Literally...

And there goes my phone posting for me again lol She is well prepared and in a lovely new home with her partner. Its just the circumstances that I find intolerable, we have never been apart before and have always been close. She just sees me taking my husband back after he left us as weak, I...

Thank you for your thoughts and advice, very appreciated. I went to the doctor, and chickened out completely, only asking for a sick certificate for the day I took off from work for a head cold. I'm not ready for medication, I do know in myself I would become dependant and I don't want that...

Go to the doctor :( 1.5 hours to go...