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I don't have it in me to do that to him, and now he's sick with bowel problem and flulike symptoms. I would sooner just walk out than leave him in an establishment like that. I thank you for your kind words to me. It means a lot. Thank you.

I also have this problem. I'm trying hard to overcome it, but it hasn't been easy. Before my breakdown, I was a much more optimistic and positive minded person.

The people are scary, but I'm not waiting for meds to kick in. I'm currently not on an SSRI, just on an anxiolytic.

When I wake up, for the first few hours, even though I've taken a waking dose of generic Klonopin, I tremble, and I feel fear. Is this common for most PTSD and C-PTSD sufferers? I'm currently residing in a house that triggers me; as a lot of my recent trauma happened here. I had a flashback...

I used to be stronger. I used to have the strength to stand up for myself. It's been sucked out of me by emotional vampires in my family and out of it.

Violently allergic. Cannot do it.

Family is wretched, too. Scary, loud, insulting, drunk, and sarcastic.

I'm going to go out for a night drive and try to calm down. Thank you for your kindness. It means a lot to me.

If I had a friend who had no pets, I would go and stay with them. I am allergic. :(

Whispering_Truth, I was raped by my own half brother.

I wish I were a stronger person, like I used to be. Ever since my breakdown, I have turned into an emotional marshmallow.

He's 6'3" 265 lbs of man. You'd need a big tater sack.

And now my ex is texting me saying "I care," but he still stays with a women who sleeps in a separate bedroom, and it is a sexless relationship. He used me.

Part of the problem is that no one is an asshole 24/7, and he says he is sorry after he hurts me, but... his apologies never hold water.

He is a soul sucker, in a long line of soul suckers from my past, including family members who are absuers and rapists. If I had the money, I would pay him to leave, and then I would go somewhere else and try to heal. They are angry at him for taking advantage of me and hurting me, and yet they...

I have nowhere to go, and this house is a PTSD trigger, and he has nowhere to go, because they abandoned him. I think that even though he has hurt me for years, it would hurt me to send him out into the street with nothing. I know I'm probably a doormat for thinking this way, but i just can't...

I have nowhere to go. For now, I am stuck. His family has abandoned him, and won't even answer my emails or calls. They have dumped him on me. He has no money, and has been unemployed and living off of me for a long time.

I went for therapy today, and we did a regression, where I went back to being 3, and I was to imagine myself as having a caring and loving mother. I cried my eyes out for the entire hour, and when I got back home, my boyfriend verbally abused me. He said "I guess I'm dealing with a child now."...

Last night, after reading this post to someone to try to explain what flashbacks are like, and how real they are, I was still told "but it's in the past, it's not happening now." They just don't get it, and then they yelled at me.

I have gone through an almost exact scenario, but add in domestic violence and financial abuse. I am deeply sorry you're going through this. I empathize. Most days, I wake up shaking through my anxiolytic dose.

My mother has said every single thing here, to me.

I'm relatively new here, but I welcome you. Abuse is part of the problem with my C-PTSD. I empathize.

I was raped by my brother and I empathize. I am deeply sorry you have gone through this trauma. I've been on a daily low dose of Clonazepam for about 9 months. I have a lot of shame and guilt for taking it, and I still feel my anxiety creeping through my dose.

This is how I am lately when I wake up. Even when my boyfriend is just joking, it scares me so much; even through my medication.

Thank you for your kindness. It has been rough, and add to this that I had gallbladder surgery prior to finding out I have sleep apnea. It's been scary, but I'm trying very hard, and I have a new therapist; who I am hoping works out well for me.