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I've done some research into this in the past. From what I have read actual figures are hard to come by, research reports suggest a range of 5% - 30% of victims of CSA go on to offend. It is well understood that the vast majority of victims do not go on to offend themselves. Previous...

I've just finished 6 sessions with a therapist through the NHS. That's the max I'm allowed. I can self refer again after three months and maybe get another 6. After that it ends, no more. I probably spent the first four sessions gradually telling her what happened in my childhood and more...

Well done you, congratulations.

Hi @barefoot Well done in taking this big step. I know from personal experience that it takes courage and a leap of faith to open up. My experience of opening up my heart here has been one of support and compassion, beyond what I could have wished for. I think I know very much what you...

Sort of....and I understand why it made you feel anxious. I was sacked from my previous job, justifiably. I had no chance to say anything to any work colleagues. The nature of my failing was such that I didn't want anybody to know why I had been sacked. So I've avoided all contact with...

I don't know of the medication you are taking, but I've just had a look on line and the side effects described are the same as many other anti-depressants. The side effects in the early days of taking anti-depressants can be awful. I was taking SSRI type medication for a few years, I reacted...

I struggle with these sorts of definitions, but they must be helpful to aid diagnosis and treatment. For years I denied I had any problems, primarily because I didn't believe my own experiences could be classed as trauma, and therefore justify my behaviours. For better or worse my behaviours...

In 1988 I was a member of a caving expedition to a remote area of South West China. Previously the area had not been open to visitors and we were the first non Chinese to visit in forty years. The locals were helping us porter our equipment through amazing mountainous terrain and I was being...

Anti depressants can cause this, they did in my case. Otherwise I guess it could be down to a wide range of things. Hopefully you are both able to talk about it to each other.

For me this is one of those posts you can spend your whole life waiting for. @SwordintheStone huge respect to you for having the courage to open up about this. Yes - totally. My behaviour started in adolescence, 40 years ago, and I still do it. I have the same issue - I don't like it...

Hi @ivory Thanks for the information, yes it is based on Paul Gilbert's work, and does include mindfulness practices too (I've tried mindfulness but have lacked the discipline to do it regularly). No I haven't found an alternative method of self soothing yet. At the moment I am locked in an...

Hi @ivory - thanks so much for your message. I've just started learning about compassionate mind therapy, the therapist I have been seeing adopts this approach and firmly believes it can help me. I've just started reading about it, so I am very much a novice, but it is interesting and I think...

Mit is a nickname, given to me by my adoptive parents, it's not my legal name but I've been called it most of my life. I don't mind it. Occasionally I get some funny looks when first tell people my name, but I don't mind. Its the name I was given whilst in care before I was adopted, in reverse...

This thread made me think about how I viewed myself at Glen's age and how I view myself now, in terms of attractiveness to others. Here goes: As a young man I thought I was "bottom of the barrel" material; If I was looking for a relationship now, I'd think the same. Only difference now is...

I'd have to agree with the comments above about your apparent attitude to woman, based on what you have written, but perhaps it just came out wrong. Putting that aside. I felt exactly as you when I was your age (my God, 30 years ago!). I'm also a small man, and believed physical attributes...

A massive heart felt well done to you. Its a huge achievement, and you should feel very proud. I can't add to the brilliant thoughts and advice already given. Just try to enjoy it and don't be too hard on yourself. It's a really positive thing you've done.

I took anti depressants for nearly four years, and diazepam, and sleeping tablets. They kept me going through the darkest period of my life, just. My doctor at the time was primarily concerned with enabling me to function, and keeping me safe. After four years I didn't think they were helping...

Yes I have bouts of depression, sometimes so intensely I think suicide it the only way to escape the feeling. In between I experience varying degrees of anxiety, from worrying about trivial things, to major panic and absolute terror, which can be very hard to cope with. At it's worse it has...

I couldn't even start to compare traumas. But as a child and even now as an adult I don't think of my trauma as being as bad as most others I read about on this forum. My trauma arose from years of medical procedures on my genitals. So because it was being done in theory to help me and by...

In my experience in the UK, it's a very mixed bag. Therapy through the NHS is limited. I was given just six sessions. The therapist wanted to refer me on to a psychologist, knowing that six sessions were insufficient, but this was turned down, I suspect because of very limited NHS resources. I...

Awesome thread. You are loved, you don't have to be brave and it isn't your fault. And it's ok to tell somebody how you feel inside.

I have struggled with this too. I have two sons, now both teenagers. They were 10 and 11 when I attempted suicide four years ago. In the intervening years I have battled thoughts of suicide, and like you it has been my love for them and their love for me that has often prevented me. Last...

Being dismissed from my job of ten years was the start of a period of huge upheaval, family and personal trauma. I was the sole bread winner and had three kids to provide for. Immediately after I regularly woke up with night terrors about losing our home. At the same time I was being...

Thank you @Anrish. You should be proud too, well done to you.

My family were away for the weekend. Being on my own, in the past few years has always been tough, too much time to dwell on previous events, and total freedom to react to negative thoughts. It was during such a time I took an overdose. So this weekend I decided to really try and not follow...