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pushing hard can lead to regression / breaking. gut kick despair. this too shall pass. icarus should have queried a materials engineer.

mild stressors make the back of my head hurt like about 1 minute after concussion. dim and foggy and aching and echo-y before the world starts going white and shoulders hunch and memories come crawling out of their hole. haven't found a solution. lot of things get pushed by the current...

Matcha ice cream as of right now.

Went out to by ice cream in spite of anxiety. suck it world. i can have what i want.

Perhaps "Confusion" by Metallica.

5/10 Still recovering from yesterdays shock and med-related volatility. Today's another wash. Distraction is the best i'll manage. worthless. things i should be doing but can't. Meds keeping me level-ish. Not giving up on new med. Engaging with self despite suckage. Tried. Coffee and a pastry.

I can mindread. I know people want to hurt me. counter: it doesn't matter what other people want. People will hurt me whenever they have opportunity. Never be vulnerable or exposed because people will hurt me. counter: a stranger asked if i was okay yesterday. didn't hurt me or stalk me. no...

Speakers (been looking at red speakers a lot)

Haunted house. Exorcism isn't illegal. Freeclimb or harness?

The American Slave Coast by Ned and Constance Sublette, Lawrence Hill Books, 2016

Mornin'. Coffee's on.

For a couple years my supporter had to lead me by the hand through grocery stores because I couldn't process anything spatial or verbal. I was fine at home. I was mostly fine in games. Total failure outside the house and with strange people. Stressed brains are only marginally capable. My...

Perhaps replace "want" with "can." Emphasis on the work, not the result. There are days when I can't love myself but I'm still allowed to. I can love myself. alt: I am allowed to love myself. I will try to be self-aware. I will try to be present today. Note: might be too wishy-washy for...

suggestion. practice saying out loud: "My work is valuable." might be really hard to say. i'm not good at it but i still try. we deserve positive self-worth and other nice things. at my last longish job i could just compare my work to the long-term screwups in the next aisle. sometimes...

Do I want it, y/n IF "y", THEN "And I deserve nice things" Can I afford it? y/n IF "y" THEN "purchase" IF "n" THEN "re-table next month"

Witch on the moon. I'd send giant monsters to smash cities and there'd be no one to stop me. Hot medium roast sumatra or flat coconut la croix?

when a 20 minute routine walk becomes an hour of motionless blind panic.

Ranma 1/2 s3e1. Silly fun from one of my favourite writers, even if the animation is spotty.

Just when I thought I was done with buying music, I found this.

T: if the paranoid delusions get worse, you should contact [the psychiatrist] Secret Me: Paranoid, delusional, and newly verbal... did you think I would keep it to myself?

An Tir, Canada

Distracts yet intending to inspire long looks, shared private smiles, Fantasies

pointing

Look, another bakery!