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My therapist just recommended Toxic Parents book this morning. I plan to check it out. I'm currently reading Will I Ever be Good Enough?. So far it's on point.

I feel like you're reading me! I was Mom's walking diary from an early age. She daily reminded me of all that she provided for me and what I owed in return. I felt guilty for being upset with her. I've always made excuses for her behavior and thought that there was something wrong with me. Until...

It has taken years for me to get to a point of understanding regarding my relationship with my mother. I love her dearly. I had been forever plagued by the idea that feeling anything negative toward her was wrong. I'm a grown butt woman at this point, with my own marriage and child, realizing...

@One step at a time thanks!

You pose some good suggestions. I'm structure-oriented and that can be a hang up for me, and sometimes I do need help grounding. I'm really working on communicating my needs. It has been a long-time struggle for me to learn to speak up for myself. I do keep a list for sessions too. Maybe I'll...

Thank you for your input! Being triggered is part of what I'm afraid of. I need to feel like I have a "fighting chance" though.

You're right. I see what you're saying. I think sometimes I'd feel better if they asked some clarifying questions though. This is my first T experience btw. I've been with them for 4mos now.

Anxiety.... Like all the time. I continuously feel anxious about being assaulted again, or killed, or worse, something happening to my family. I know a lot of it is the PTSD. I imagine the worst, because I could have never imagined what I would have gone through before it happened and somehow I...

I recognize that a certain amount of dead air during a session is normal and even therapeutic at times, but often there are times of long silence in my sessions that make me feel like I'm waiting for my therapist to take charge and move the conversation. Sometimes I ask T what they're thinking...

Thankfully, my T is the one who leads the group, and it's all women. It's a closed group. I haven't learned how to ground myself well, and I'm afraid of feeling trapped in public or a panic attack. I will inquire about the content and expectations, as well as whether or not I am expected to...

Yeah, I usually start to worry that I'm burdening others if I don't hear back. And sometimes the content of the message is benign, like an everyday conversation, nothing super deep. I imagine them being annoyed that I sent yet another text. In reality, I usually don't text back to back or...

Have you ever taken part in a support group with others who've experienced similar trauma? Was it helpful? I've been invited to participate in a sexual abuse support group, but am not sure about the idea. 1.) I am recovering from emotional abuse that has stunted my ability to really be in...

@GrayOwl Thank you for your feedback. I don't feel as though you're being critical. Something I didn't mention was that I also don't want to freak him out, but I know that I'm not in control of other's responses or emotions. Honesty is important to me. I suppose I have kept justifying it by...

This seems like a dumb question. Let me begin by saying that I realize that a solid marriage is based on certain virtues, such as honesty, and I value that. I have self harmed for years off and on. My husband is aware of my history, prior to our marriage, but doesn't know that it has continued...

@mrsmegan You are so brave and courageous! Thinking of you.

The thought of more trial and error with other meds is anxiety-provoking, but if I don't feel any differently, I'll have to switch it up.

Currently, I'm on 100mg of Zoloft, and have been for several weeks. In that time, I have experienced daily depression and sometimes increased anxiety and panic attacks. I almost can't remember what it was like before the meds, but I feel like they could be making me worse. I'm also freaked out...

I appreciate everyone's feedback. It has been a journey, but I'm learning to communicate more openly and candidly with my husband. He is a loving and compassionate man, and seeks to be supportive. I'm sharing my triggers with him and continuing to work in therapy and take medication. Shame has a...

Thank you! A spider diagram of emotions sounds like an interesting idea. I get bombarded quickly. Then I'm just frustrated with myself.

My T has encouraged me to work through the emotions surrounding my sexual abuse. I've spent years trying to avoid, and now I feel pretty stuck. Whenever I try to deal with the emotions by myself, I struggle to stop and identify them. I get the impulsive need to SH or just start dissociating. Has...

Only hours away from 2017. For almost a decade now, I imagined how this night was going to feel, and now it's here. This year is the scheduled release date. 2017 has signified something terrible for me for years now. Fear. Panic attacks. Depression. It is rough tonight. People are celebrating...

There are movies/books/shows of certain content that I just can't handle. Usually they are sexual in nature with a theme of force, abuse, or trafficking or even a torture scene whether sexual or not. Because of my history of sexual abuse, I just can't handle it. It reminds me of when I wasn't in...

This might sound crazy, at least it does to me, but I was challenged by my T to "let myself feel." The problem is, that I'm not sure how to get to that place. For so long I have repressed memories and emotions, dissociated, and overall tried to be numb to my past to keep it there, in the past...

Here.

Sometimes I'm afraid I'd scare people if I told them where my head is, so I keep it stuffed in. Then when I feel ready to talk, I wonder if I'm making a bigger deal than I need to by sharing. Or maybe they'll be annoyed if I express my brokenness. But then, dang, I feel lonely. Stupid and...