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I used to ask to see my records just to 'take my therapist's temperature'. Therapists who responded with "you can see them whenever you want" I deemed safe, and I never formally requested them; therapists who denied me my records, claimed to have lost them, or only provided drastically...

YES, excellent point. So, when I heard, I knew there was an open door with a possible confession/apology. It felt relatively safe to give the relationship another try. Note, however, that while some perpetrators apologize and make nice before they pass on, many to possibly most do not. Well...

Therapeutic paradigms sometimes make it sound as-if stabilization is merely the initial step of therapy, but it's not. Destabilization and then restabilization can occur periodically throughout therapy.

Definitely not normal. Whenever an adult uses a child selfishly for his or her own purposes, the behavior is not normal and, in fact, abusive.

I agree. It's the periodic extreme behaviors that garner so much public attention. And, when in 'extreme mode', borderlines can be remarkably difficult to deal with - but that doesn't make them 'bad'. 'Difficult' is the word that comes to mind regarding BPD.

It's possible. Yes, something like that. Take heart. You will come to understand all of this over time. This will not last forever.

SIgh. Sometimes, being kind and helpful counts for nothing. How sad.

Very difficult situation. I committed myself to a parentectomy for some twenty years on the repeated advice of my therapist. I did such a good job my parents and extended family couldn't find me. Then, one day about twenty years later, my grandmother told me that my father was dying and wanted...

That's why most people attend, by the way. And, this is yet another reason why the 'cognitive activities', as you call them, are low-key. How about relabeling these activities as 'fun', 'low-key', 'easy-going' or whatever?

How in the world can he or she say such a thing? Does he or she have intimate knowledge of the circumstances surrounding his termination? What an incredibly irresponsible statement for your counselor to make without unbelievably intimate knowledge of your ex-therapist's circumstances. You are...

@theshadowoftheliving Yes, you are clearly in that middle-ground, and I relate. This happened to me for years. I barely hung on. People thought me SO strong and responsible, while I was secretly exhausted and constantly feeling like I was going to fall apart. Regarding your living situation...

Pixel, been there, done that. I'm a recovered multiple. I have studied this topic in-depth at a professional level. Read my words again. Dissociation is not, in-and-of itself, dangerous. I was trying to normalize the situation, rid her of her fear of dissociation, so she could deal better with...

No, survivors do not evoke such violence from others. There are, however some paterns survivors tend to play out that put them in harms way. This is because we tend to revisit our trauma over and over again until we gain understanding, process the event fully, and gain mastery. So, for...

I am often asked these questions by my survivor friends! While I realize there were probably bystanders who failed to act, I'd like to suggest that there probably were people who tried but failed. Let me offer some real-life vignettes. As a teacher, I cannot even count the number of times I...

Seeking stability is the very first task. I agree that you and your therapist shouldn't begin 'proper' DID work until you are quite stable, as DID therapy can be destabilizing in-and-of itself.

Multiplicity and the memories tend to come out later in life, when we feel safe to deal with it all. So, no, it's really not surprising at all that you're finding out so late in life. This is, unfortunately, often true. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, and in psych that means the least...

Sorry for the confusion. To reiterate: 1. If your last text to him did not contain a physical threat, it seems safe to say that your text did not cause him to terminate you. 2. Given he has treated you with compassion, and been an excellent communicator over the last six years, it also seems...

Yes, many to most of the DDNOS folks are later diagnosed with DID. The general rule is not to diagnose DID formally until the professional has actually communicated with alters and is convinced of the diagnosis. So, practically speaking, a professional suspects DID, gives the DDNOS diagnosis...

Not at all! When abused, especially as a child and when the abuse is continuous over time, the victim tends to 'take in' elements of the abuser. Not to imply that we become abusers, but rather that their verbal 'sound bites' tend to get recorded and later replayed in our minds. So, for...

Not everyone who experiences severe trauma develops PTSD. A diagnosis of PTSD requires not only the evidence of signs and symptoms, but a certain threshold of such symptoms. So, for instance, while I used to have PTSD, I no longer own that diagnosis even though I still have some signs and...

Generally speaking, a person's past behavior is the best predictor of his future behavior. What I hear is that he has been not only consistently good to you over the last six years, but also an excellent communicator, and so I'd expect this behavior to continue. Given this, paired with his last...

Your last dissociative episode that you mentioned here did not result in self-injury, which is why I said what I did. As long as the self-injury doesn't start up again, the dissociation is not dangerous. I had DID, so I was on the extreme end of the dissociative continuum. I've lost as many as...

:)

Hope I didn't come off wrong. I wasn't trying to make your parents out to be saints.

While concerning to a newbie, dissociative episodes (the black outs you've mentioned) are not dangerous in-and-of themselves; your dissociated self knows how to take care of you. As long as you aren't harming yourself or others, I wouldn't worry about the dissociation.