How Long Did You Spend On Stabilization?

[Overcoming]

It's the thing I appreciated most about mine in the early stages - I was incredibly distressed in every session for about 6 months and she would always make sure I was ok to leave. If she hadn't, I doubt I would have gone back.

You hit something that I was thinking of on the nose! Went to see a T for the first time last month. I left the office completely out of sorts, like I'd driven straight into a brick wall. I'm hoping that that won't be a continuous pattern. If so, I don't think that I can handle it. I left wondering if that was normal and to be expected. I'm glad to hear that it doesn't have be the norm.

 

[desiderata310]

I've come to realize that we ALWAYS spend the last part of the session talking about something 'safe'.

Yup. Depending on the day, how triggered I am on the way in, how rough the subject is, he will change it several times. We've talked about everything from surfing, to his(horrible) drumming, cars, cats, mountain biking... he's actually pretty good at spinning a conversation around when it's like that.

We wound up talking about a very difficult topic yesterday for about half the session before he decided that he had covered it sufficiently and spun it to surfing, quite easily, which brought up another trigger(long story involving someone's look alike) which lent itself to talking about other surf spots, and then to mountain bikes, racks for cars, etc.

There are days I walk out wondering if we actually did any work or if all we did was shoot the breeze the whole session. Turns out if I go back and review, he's actually chipping away at things in the midst but it doesn't feel like it because the exposure to those difficult topics stays short. According to him, this IS stabilization.

 

[desiderata310]

And that really is the goal of therapy anyway, isn't it?

Totally get what you're saying but I've been dealing with past trauma spilling over because of today's BS: my mother's passing, restraining orders in need of being put in place and renewed... that sort of thing. So We're hoping for relative calm in my day-to-day life to make working on effing TRAUMA even possible.

 

[void]

And do they call this trauma therapy? What modality are they using with you?

@sun seeker

5yrs of CBT and he(Shrink #1) did not even dx me with PTSD....never mentioned it....not even implied....(while I lived in endless confusion and self-hatred)

....then....6 more years of CBT with a PTSD expert....to him, stabilization was exclusively med's($5-8000 per year)......issues like grounding, self-soothing, etc... were NEVER mentioned....at least he bothered to tell me I had PTSD.

...but the cash register kept ringing, so who gives a fvck?

 

[Panda Bear]

Two years...but I think it was more about building a stronger attachment and trust, then anything else. I needed that time to bond and become skilled enough to be treated. Had he treated me like we he does now? Id likely be dead!

Then we had a year-year and half where we put those skills learned in the first two to the test and started working.

Now...we are in the last 2yrs of our work.

We still, battle safety and attachment and often have a week or so here and there here we just rest and reassure. Especially in the last year where we have made infinite progress. A year of solidly HARD WORK! So a week every two months or so, we rest and talk and he really works on making sure I am okay!

I like our current pattern. It works for us.

 

[aut555]

Mine did some stabilisation work mainly helping me ground myself when I was struggling but mostly she's...

Please clone her for us. Lol

 

[aut555]

I triggered and fell into a dark hole after therapy. We never discussed grounding or ptsd. I think l might have not said what the trauma was but talking about the abuse really really really hurt. So sent an email to Director explaining what was lacking in my therapy. Was this my fault, possibility exists of course. Think l made a very poor decision because of being distraught after therapy. So now l stopped therapy until l feel better about assessing t before l unload. Hope this makes sense.

 

[Suzetig]

@aut555 If I could clone her I would, she's been a fantastic support to me - I wouldn't be anywhere near as far along in my recovery without her.

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

Therapeutic paradigms sometimes make it sound as-if stabilization is merely the initial step of therapy, but it's not. Destabilization and then restabilization can occur periodically throughout therapy.

 

[Laurie2001]

Let's see......I've been seeing my T for 3 years, I think,so "3 years". I've never actually thought of...

He sounds like a really great therapist -really empathic and attuned and thoughtful

 

[scout86]

He is. I got REALLY lucky!

 

[Laurie2001]

Interestingly I had no interest in stabilization techniques when I began with my current and only really trauma therapist. I needed to dive right in to all sorts of stuff and feelings including a lot of sort of regression. I told her I did not want to be pulled out of where I was. I was able to do so when necessary. However, after a couple of years, and a lot of very difficult situations with my mother which echoed abuse of the past, I really started to loose it emotionally. I also was getting really angry at my therapist and I think was really difficult. Then at one point I realized I was really unstable and feeling hopeless emotionally and suicidal. Then I knew I needed CBT/ DBT and actually hospitalization. I've talked a lot on other threads about my experience at Shepard Pratt.

Now I've started DBT. I will continue working with my trauma therapist on the side just because of my attachment to her and the degree to which she is a stabilizing force in my life. And I know we will go back to the trauma from a more stable place after DBT. I always sort of trust what i need and throw myself into it. No one could have convinced me to do DBT before and in fact when my therapist suggested grounding techniques I got angry. I'm not sure why except, oddly enough it felt like someone telling me to relax when I felt it was way too dangerous to do so, or saying my feelings and experiences weren't primary. I know that is a distortion. But regardless, I just wasn't ready to use techniques until now. I needed someone to just be with me where I was at and be able to tolerate it (not me getting angry at her) - like I would feel like I was a kid again during the bad stuff and I needed her to be with me feeling that way and that helped a lot!!

Anyway, everybody needs something different or has a different process. I guess the most important thing, to me, is being able to tell your therapist any concerns you have. I realize stabilization techniques are really really important. That's primary for me now. I guess I just did it backwards - but thats how I needed to do it. But for sure they are important to learn from the get go, if the person is open to it.